Ignatian Discernment - Experiencing A Negative Outcome

[PJPilgrimm]

I have been learning and putting into practice Ignation Discernment for the past 9 years. Recently there has been one major discernment that has lead to an outcome that seems negative. I am open to the fact that although this outcome seems negative (perspective from my point of view), God can use such circumstances for good (referencing to Joseph from the bible )

To cut a long story short, I discerned for many years to join a non-profit, got the job, stayed for 1 year and had to leave because the work was overwhelming and stressful. It was draining me due to the people challenges and my family life suffered due to working overtime.

On top of that, the manager who hired me left when I joined (to my surprise), there was a change in my immediate manager (who had a change of plans for the department and required different skills than what I was hired to do). She felt I was not the right fit for the job. I am aware that the new manager had new expectations and directions compared to the initial hiring manager. I have since resigned and feel sad leaving an area of non-profit work (care for creation) where my heart’s desire was drawn to. I was still given a letter of recommendation that commented on the hard work, dedication, attention-to-detail and other positives about my work ethic.

I waited many years, applied for many jobs before securing this role. I am disappointed and confused at the outcome especially after 8 years of discernment and searching.
In an article by Warren Sazama, S.J - it was mentioned, “We need to trust that God is not going to lead us off a cliff!”. In my circumstance, I do feel that I just fell off one

I revisited my discernment process with a Jesuit spiritual director who concluded that I made the right discernment in accepting this work opportunity. It was a Mode 1 discernment - a very clear indication to pursue the opportunity. The spiritual director had indicated that in some major discernment outcomes, it is possible to experience positive or negative outcomes.

The experience has also thought me about my gaps and areas where I could further develop myself. I will continue to apply a “discerning heart” to my experience.

Could anyone share their experience of making the best discernment where the outcome turned out negative? Did the negative outcome affect your faith especially in the area of trusting God?

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

But here is what I found, evil will use an opening of disappointment like that to try to drive a wedge between you and God

Very much this.
Crapsack things happen all the time in our fallen world, and sometimes it’s truly monstrous (ie The Holicaust).

We’re not promised happy endings. Sorry, but nowhere in the Bible are we promised happy Earthly endings.

What we are promised is salvation if we walk with the Lord and do His will.

 

[paperwight]

PJPilgrimm:
So the results seemed like a real kick in the nuts to me.

Ummm…… I’m not sure that expression is quite suitable?

 

[TheLittleLady]

Sometimes God wants us on a specific journey, but, He also will want us to exit that journey before we reach what we thought was the final destination.

Most of us will have many career changes, God gives us free will. Take your experience, find the good things you learned and keep moving. Your goal is heaven, not an earthly job.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

In your defense, OP, if you’re living in the US, you have been bombarded with some variation of the “prosperity Gospel” or the secular version (The Secret, The Law Of Attraction), and even faithful Catholics have been infected by this thinking.
Do the right things, think the right thoughts, good things will come your way any minute now!

But…the Crucifix tells a very different story, one where you do all the good and noble and right things and your earthly reward is a ghastly execution, abandoned by your friends.

Yes, there is a resurrection. But no escaping the Cross.

 

[PJPilgrimm]

@0Scarlett_nidiyilii Thanks for responding. Agree that the “law of attraction” or “prosperity gospel” is not compatible with our Catholic faith. Agree that following a “discernment” or “call” through our Christian faith may lead to the cross and personal sacrifices. I am humbly wanting to learn & hear from other “discerners” and “seekers” concerning their outcomes which were painful instead (despite putting our best foot forward and making a good discernment).

 

[PJPilgrimm]

@1Lord1Faith Thanks for sharing the honest sharing about the pain that could come along with praying and discerning. Thanks for the sharing about the scenario of “driving a wedge”. Agree it is a real test of faith (when adversity and disappointments show up on our faith & discernment journey - especially when we’ve invested a lot of time and emotions in practicing Ignatian discernment, countless hours of prayer and our own resources)

@TheLittleLady Thanks for the wisdom. I agree that it is entirely possible that God may want us to exit a journey before we reach what we thought was the final destination. At every step of the way, I prayed that I would be given the grace to act out my Christian values in spite of all the challenges and to be a good example to others. The “earthly job” was discerned as a path on the “personal calling” or “personal vocation journey” - just to add context. It was a transition from a previous corporate career that was not “life giving”. However the spiritual director did comfort me by sharing the following - that our God is a “God of choices and chances” where our God gives us the freedom to choose and possibly more chances i.e. other opportunities further down the road.

God bless you all and thanks for stopping by to comment.

 

[midori]

I used to work in the museum field. One of the things we were taught was that we’re only good for about five years in one place, before it’s time to move elsewhere. Because if you stay longer than five years, it’s not healthy for the organization itself— you start to get stagnant. So you need to move on elsewhere, so that you can bring your strengths to a different museum, and someone else can come in and compensate for your weaknesses.

I would expect something similar to be true for nonprofits in general. (Of which museums are merely one type, with a focus on history and education.)

So— rather than getting bogged down by serving in one particular nonprofit, use your experience and connections that you gained there to transfer your skills to another nonprofit, and go make a difference there.

You already said that the work was overwhelming and stressful, and involved large amounts of overtime that strained your family life. That’s not the sort of place that’s healthy to hang out in for the next 30 years of your working life.

God gave you the opportunity to experience something you desired greatly from the inside. You appreciated being able to make a difference, but you also saw that it required, perhaps, more sacrifice than you were physically/mentally/socially equipped to offer… and your family was physically/mentally/socially equipped to offer as well.

But rather than treating it as a failure and a wasted year, you gained something. Figure out what that something was, and use it to influence the next step in your path.

 

[jack63]

One suggestion is to read about the life of St. Ignatius who founded the Jesuits and of course developed Ignatian discernment. This will put things into perspective. Saint Ignatius took a very circuitous path. He was told to leave the holy land on threat of excommunication. He was arrested (and released) twice in Spain during the Inquisition until he got out of Spain and moved to France. He was an older man before his true conversion. It took having his leg shattered by a cannon ball before he truly converted.

Also, Ignatian discernment is a discernment of spirits or spiritual forces acting in your life. It’s not a discernment of the future.

 

[PJPilgrimm]

r, you gained something. Figure out what that something was, and use it to influence the next step in your path

@midori Thanks and totally agree on the part about “Figure out what that something was, and use it to influence the next step in your path”. Already on the path.

@jack63 Thanks for the mention about St Ignatius. True that he has encountered what seemed setbacks as well. Though I must say that Ignatian discernement is surely about discerning the faithful’s future as we are discerning “options in front of us”. It is about choosing between 2 good options in front of us. Having said that - I understand there could outcomes leading to the cross/pain/suffering. Hence I was asking for others to share their experience. Appreciate the (name removed by moderator)ut and God bless

 

[jack63]

It is about choosing between 2 good options in front of us.

I don’t look at it that way. It is about choosing between many options. Some options could be positive and other not so positive. The thing I think that you always have freedom and you always have a choice. I’m not a believer that God has a definite plan for me. I believe he loves me, but I don’t believe he has a plan that is laid out for me and I decide to take it or not. There are multiple paths one could take in life. I personally believe God could be with me on any one of those paths.

So guess when I say discernment is not about discerning the future that is what I mean. It is not about finding the “right” answer.