Ignorant about NFP - help?

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I’ve been trying to read up on NFP but don’t really know where to start - so I thought I’d ask for some (name removed by moderator)ut and advice here. 🙂

I am engaged to be married in sixteen months, and have realized I need to start figuring out what to do about NFP. Unfortunately there won’t be any choice but to use it - at the time we get married, both my fiance and I will still be broke grad students with very little ability to support a child. We’re not thrilled about putting off having children, but are convinced it would be the most prudent thing to do - due to a combination of student loan debt and the coursework for two master’s and a doctorate between us, it might be three or four years before I’ll be able to stop working/going to school full-time and still afford to feed everyone.

Which, frankly, sucks. I’d like nothing more than to start increasing the human race straightaway. But since that’s the way it is, we’ve got to use NFP and make it work. So –

Is there any consensus on what the most effective method is, or does anyone here have experience with some methods working better than others? I know different methods monitor temperature, cervical mucus, both and maybe other stuff too (?) so is more better?

Also, how effective have you found NFP to be, in general? Is it very reliable if you’re strict with yourselves, or are you more or less guaranteed to unintentionally get pregnant with any length of using it?

And finally - how hard is it, really? I ask in all sincerity; I haven’t any idea of how much stress periodic abstinence brings about (although I’m hoping that we can stand it for three or four years!).
 
I’m in the “if you can’t have kids yet, don’t get married yet” camp.

ETA couputer hiccup…

Do you have good sleep patterns? If you do not, temping can be a problem.
 
First off… congrats on your engagement and kudos for wanting to follow the Church’s teachings regarding birth control - sometimes the lack of support isn’t helpful, so you’re on the right path!!! 🙂

Start HERE…
nfpandmore.com/
They have a GREAT free how-to booklet… free charts to download and print… lots of great info. (fyi - this is the “sympto-thermal method”… there are other methods too, but this has the most free online info of them all)…

Second, contact your diocese to see if there are any local classes.
Third, if you don’t find any local classes, consider these:
ccli.org/
creightonmodel.com/
nfp.marquette.edu/

I was in a similar situation as you were when we got married (over 9 years ago now :D)… I was still in college and my husband lived 2 hrs away… we saw each other only on weekends that final semester… then started my first job… so in time we felt God calling us to have a child… now we have 3. 🙂

ANYWAY… it’s not HARD, it’s just about making it a habit. At this point, it’s second nature to me… I don’t even have to THINK about “doing” NFP… I get up, I take my temperature (don’t stress the sleep schedule fears for getting accurate temps… it’s a secondary sign and you can learn more about that later on), I go to the bathroom and mark my chart. I subconsciously check my fertility signs when I use the bathroom during the day… it’s just second nature and habit. It does require diligence to get to this point (forming any habit can be challenging), but the day-to-day monitoring is not hard.

For us, NFP has been FABULOUS and WONDERFUL! We’ve been able to (100% successfully) space our children (prayerfully considering our situation at every given moment, but finding that our free will isn’t against “God’s plan”)… all of our children have been “planned”. 🙂

Hope that helps a bit… feel free to ask more questions or send me a private message - I love helping people out with NFP stuff… 🙂
 
I’ve been trying to read up on NFP but don’t really know where to start - so I thought I’d ask for some (name removed by moderator)ut and advice here. 🙂

I am engaged to be married in sixteen months, and have realized I need to start figuring out what to do about NFP. Unfortunately there won’t be any choice but to use it - at the time we get married, both my fiance and I will still be broke grad students with very little ability to support a child. We’re not thrilled about putting off having children, but are convinced it would be the most prudent thing to do - due to a combination of student loan debt and the coursework for two master’s and a doctorate between us, it might be three or four years before I’ll be able to stop working/going to school full-time and still afford to feed everyone.

Which, frankly, sucks. I’d like nothing more than to start increasing the human race straightaway. But since that’s the way it is, we’ve got to use NFP and make it work. So –
So, I think you should discuss this with your priest/spiritual director because as kage points out, you need to be ready to accept children when you get married.

To answer your questions specifically about NFP methods…
Is there any consensus on what the most effective method is, or does anyone here have experience with some methods working better than others?
They are all effective. The most effective method is, of course, complete abstinence. 🙂
I know different methods monitor temperature, cervical mucus, both and maybe other stuff too (?) so is more better?
No. More is not necessarily “better.” I would classify the three methods as “different” not “better” or “worse” than each other.

For example, with STM (sympto-thermal) you take your temp at the same time each morning. You need at least 3 hours of resting heart rate (i.e. sleep) and must take it at the same time each day. Some of us don’t want to get up and temp every morning. Some of us travel or have work shift schedules that impact sleep patterns. Some of us are light sleepers and 3 hours continuous sleep/resting heart rate is only a dream.

Personally, STM isn’t my style. Also, IMHO it uses subjective classification of mucus.

I personally prefer Creighton although I know both methods. It’s simple and I can sleep in on Saturday. 👍 I like the standardized mucus observation. It also is helpful in a variety of situations in which women find themselves having continuous mucus or other hormonal issues.

Sometimes which method you learn comes down to what methods have instructors in your area. Some diocese have a lot of STM and few Creighton, others are the other way around. Some have Northwest Family Services and others Marquette. Internationally, Billings is far and away the most taught.
Also, how effective have you found NFP to be, in general? Is it very reliable if you’re strict with yourselves,
NFP is very reliable.
or are you more or less guaranteed to unintentionally get pregnant with any length of using it?
Certainly not.
And finally - how hard is it, really? I ask in all sincerity; I haven’t any idea of how much stress periodic abstinence brings about (although I’m hoping that we can stand it for three or four years!).
Can you read a thermometer, use toilet paper, and remember down your numbers? If so, NFP is not difficult.

Regarding intimacy, and the difficulty of abstaining, that is quite individual to each couple although each method teaches non-sexual ways to be intimate during fertile times.
 
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