I'm at the end of my rope I want out.

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I have been struggling with sins of impurity for 20+ years. I’m negative most of the time, I’m a bad husband, bad father, bad son, brother, co-worker, etc., etc. I have depression, anxiety, mitral valve prolapse, I’m $8,000.00 in credit card debt, my nerves are shot. I can’t seem to do anything right anymore. I go to mass on Sunday’s, twice a week, adoration, confession, pray daily. I just am not happy, I should be. Things never do seem to go right for me. I can’t afford to see a shrink, I know I need to, my wife and I are facing our second bankruptcy, mostly my fault (buying religious books, etc.). I constantly feel agitated, I loose my cool at the drop of a hat. I got in a stupid fight with my wife this morning. I even cussed God out on my way to work after slamming the front door at home and squeeling my tired. I have a bad temper, did I mention how selfish I am?? Impatient. Ungrateful. I consecrated my heart to Mary’s Immaculate heart 3-25-04, I have 5 kids 8 and under. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t have time to do anything, I can’t do anything right. Why when I pray to God does this continue to happen? Things get worse and worse, I’m getting worse, everyone I know suffers because of me, I can’t seem to shake it. I’m going to adoration tonight, what should I say or do?
 
You sound like you’re suffering from clinical depression. I’ve had it for a very long time and if I’m not on medication - well, let’s just say I have a hard time coping. Please see a doctor. You might have to try a couple of different anti-depressants before you find the right one, but stick with it. I remember what my life was like before I got help and how drastic the change has been. Hang in there - there is hope.
 
I agree with Koda. Counseling and anti depressants should be covered by your insurance or you can apply for government assistance. This is serious and if you take care of yourself you can better take care of your family.
 
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koda:
You sound like you’re suffering from clinical depression. I’ve had it for a very long time and if I’m not on medication - well, let’s just say I have a hard time coping. Please see a doctor. You might have to try a couple of different anti-depressants before you find the right one, but stick with it. I remember what my life was like before I got help and how drastic the change has been. Hang in there - there is hope.
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I am on medication, about 1 1/2 months now, I think it is making me irritable.
 
I got like that once. I think it was from overwork, being overstressed, too much happening. I went away to a retreat center for about three days and did absolutely nothing. After that I was fine.
 
And/or you may need a different medication. It isn’t like an antibiotic where you can do a culture to figure out what will work. Sometimes it takes a certain amount of trial and error, both with meds and maybe getting away for a while. I go bum off my sisters from time to time, just hanging out and visiting away from home.
 
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Shameless:
I am on medication, about 1 1/2 months now, I think it is making me irritable.
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Shameless:

When was the last time you went to Confession and told the priest EVERYTHING? When was the last time you went back a week later and repeated the process? (It’s like an exorcism or a complete core dump for a badly damaged spirit)

When was the last time you received the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick (I get it every time I get the chance)? When was the last time you got it specifically for this (if you’re seeing a psychiatrist and taking Meds, you’re definitely eligible for the “Anointing of the Sick”.

When was the last time you allowed yourself an actual day of rest - a Sabbath? When was the last you you followed that up seven days later with another one?

When was the last time you and your wife spent a weekend by yourselves (if family can’t take the kids, get somebody from the parish to do it)?

When was the last time you went on a retreat? When was the last time you did this with your wife? The St. Ignatius Institute used to go on one at the beginning of each school year - I was the “official bus baggage loader”. If your parish knows just how badly you need one, they just might spring for it.

I seem to recall that most anti-depressants may cause people to feel irritated for one or two weeks, but never for a month - have your doctor change your meds, and get a therapist to talk to about the issues that are dragging you down. The meds are meant to work IN CONJUNCTION with Talk Therapy, not by themselves. If you’ve been negative for 20 years, there’s a problem with NEGATIVE COGNITION that someone needs to address.

There’s one more thing - I can get pretty negative, too, and have been so since I was a teenager. being Poly-Disabled hasn’t helped that.

I’ve found that sometimes, the only thing that works to get me to stop thinking about how much I hurt (and the back and hip doe hurt) is to get on this board and to try to find situations where I can be of service and where I can look at the needs and problems of others and try to help them work through them.

So long as I am about myself and my pain, I’m going to be negative. i can’t help it.

The only thing I’ve found that works to get my obsessed mind off my pain is to get it to see the pain and difficulties of others.

I hope this helps.

Goodnight and Good Bless.

In Christ, Michael
 
**NOTICE:

**After much thought, the moderation and administrative staff have decided not to allow solicitation on the forums of people with specific health concerns. While well-intentioned, it does create potentially serious problems.

It is not possible for reliable support to be given in an open forum community. Any advice could, potentially, be dangerous. People experiencing specific health problems should seek a referral to a certified health professional.

Also, CAF simply does not have sufficient moderation and administrative resources at this time to closely monitor all such threads.

However, it is certainly legitimate to also seek spiritual help for dealing with health problems. Those in need of prayers and the like are encouraged to post in the Spirituality forum. Nevertheless, if such threads drift into medical advice, we will be forced to close them down.

This thread is now closed. Thanks to all who participated in the discussion.
 
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