I'm concerned...

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robnova

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I have spent months on end preparing myself for the “journey home”, but my wife does not share in my new beliefs. I have been studying Catholic doctrine for months, watching EWTN, etc. I realize that the Catholic church is the one true church. We are LCMS members are are regular Sunday attendeed. My wife attended Catholic school from K-12, but was never a Catholic.
I feel drawn to seeing a priest and talking with him about entering the Catholic faith, attending RCIA, etc.
If I start attending RCIA after meeting with a priest, but my wife refuses to come with me, should I still attend the LCMS church to appease her while going through RCIA, or should I attend mass and let it be with God.

RobNova
 
I see. That makes more sense to me now. This is a mainstream, conservative church, yes?

If it were me, I would attend both churches. The Catholic Church for me and the other church for my spouse. She will probably be pleasantly surprised that you would make such a sacrifice for her. That tells of your love for her.

If you have ever heard “The Doctor is In” on EWTN radio, you would have heard of Dr. Ray. I asked him a question once about attending 2 churches on Sunday. It was a different set of circumstances but his answer reflected your dilemma. When he converted (and before his wife did), he got up early Sunday morning and went to mass. Afterwards, he attended his wife’s church. This took his whole morning but it gave unity to the family. Now they are both Catholic and the whole family attends together.

I am so happy for you. You have no idea the beautiful things that are in store for you. I am a convert as well. I can’t even begin to tell you how much deeper my love is for God than it ever was!! It just grows and grows and grows.
 
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robnova:
I have spent months on end preparing myself for the “journey home”, but my wife does not share in my new beliefs. I have been studying Catholic doctrine for months, watching EWTN, etc.
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Did you ever hear Kimberly Hahn’s conversion story, she did not become Catholic the day Scott did. So have hope!
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robnova:
I feel drawn to seeing a priest and talking with him about entering the Catholic faith, attending RCIA, etc.
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That is great and you should while the Holy Spirit is guiding you in that.
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robnova:
If I start attending RCIA after meeting with a priest, but my wife refuses to come with me, should I still attend the LCMS church to appease her while going through RCIA, or should I attend mass and let it be with God.
RobNova
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If you are going through RCIA you should be at the Catholic Mass on Sundays. God bless you!
 
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robnova:
should I still attend the LCMS church to appease her while going through RCIA, or should I attend mass and let it be with God.

RobNova
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That’s what Scott Hahn did. Discuss it with your priest. You’re not the first person in the world to have this issue!

Godspeed!:gopray2:
 
I agree with everyone who has answered you up to this point in time.

Keep going to LCMS services with your wife. Begin or continue to go to Mass, as well (with or without her).

And leave the rest up to God.

👍
 
The loving thing to do is continue attending both Churches, especially if you have children. Before attempting deep discussion with your wife on religion topics you will want to learn as much as you can, so begin RCIA on your own. You do not commit to receiving the sacraments on a certain timetable by this choice, the process takes as long as you need it to take. However, early in the process you will want to speak to the priest or deacon about the particulars of your marriage (especially if either of you has been married before) to see what should be done and what can be done before or after your reception into the Catholic Church. The best way to reach someone who is not Catholic is to be a good Catholic–charitable, just, forgiving, not argumentative, not triumphal, try to live the Gospel and let your life argue for you. God bless you, you are the reason I love the ministry of RCIA. If she has a long history of contact with the Catholic Church, and deep negative feelings about it, there may be things she needs to talk about, and to forgive, perhaps even with the help of a counsellor.
 
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SusanL:
If it were me, I would attend both churches. The Catholic Church for me and the other church for my spouse. She will probably be pleasantly surprised that you would make such a sacrifice for her. That tells of your love for her.

If you have ever heard “The Doctor is In” on EWTN radio, you would have heard of Dr. Ray. I asked him a question once about attending 2 churches on Sunday. It was a different set of circumstances but his answer reflected your dilemma. When he converted (and before his wife did), he got up early Sunday morning and went to mass. Afterwards, he attended his wife’s church. This took his whole morning but it gave unity to the family. Now they are both Catholic and the whole family attends together.
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Great thread! And Great advice!
 
By all means go to both churches, even after you convert. Just remember that after you convert you should not receive Communion at any protestent church. I don’t know about receiving Communion from a protestant church while you are in RCIA. Lovingly ask your wife to attend mass with you once in a while.
 
I came into the Church on April 10, 2004.

My wonderful sponsor continues to attend the non-denominational church with her husband. She attends early Mass on Sunday morning, and then drives home to go to his church. The pastor of that church actually allowed her to give a “presentation” of her testimony to the church.

Also, my beloved great-uncle, who died at age 96 a few years ago, married a Lutheran. For almost 75 years of marriage, he attended early Mass, then drove home, picked up his wife, and attended the Lutheran church with her. After she died, he continued to attend both churches, including Bible studies and socials at both churches. His funeral was so touching–equal numbers of Catholics and Lutherans attended the funeral Mass.

So I agree with everyone else who has posted.
 
Let the grace of God take over every aspect of your life. When your wife sees what is happening to you and notices how much better you have become as a husband and father, she will grow to appreciate your conversion. Pray for your wife and love her like Christ loves His church. You will be planting the seeds. The Holy Spirit will do the heavy lifting.
 
RobNova,

I think there is a book called *When Only One Converts, *or something to that effect. You might want to check Amazon, or perhaps someone knows who the author is.

becky
 
The LCMS is often not fond of Catholicism. You might find that a bit of a conflict. I am a convert myself. Went from minister to priest. It is not easy and my family objected. They are fine with it now, but time is a great healer. I don’t know where you are in terms of your journey, but eventually you will have to make the break and go to Mass alone. You will find it very difficult, if not impossible, to keep going to both. It is up to you about when that moment comes. I can say I love being Catholic. I feel fortunate about my previous heritage and how it prepared me for Catholicism. Welcome to the Church. It is worth the effort and the pain.
 
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