I'm confused about my feelings for my friend

[Jesse]

So here’s a thing, I’m 100% straight person but i have developed romantic feelings towards my best friend and we confessed that to each other and wanned to give it a try but we’ve realized that its wrong and decided to ignore feelings… a certain amount of time has passed we are no longer friends but I still have same feelings for him and when you miss someone you want that person back but here problem is I dont know what to think because its one of the “sins that cry out to heaven for vegeance”. Im sure that Im not gay because i never had any feelings in my life for another man and I find it disgusting to think about it, well except him. I can only imagine myself with wife and children… I just wanna know is it wrong and sinful that I want him in my life, because if something happens and he ends up in my life again I don’t want God to “hate” me. I read that who does one of the 4 sins that cry out to heaven, God doesnt care about them anymore. The way I am looking at that is like God’s saying " f*** you son,you aint my child anymore,peace out"

 

[TheLittleLady]

In our world today we have forgotten about deep, intimate friendship. We immediately take fondness for a friend and turn it sexual.

Men can have very close friendships, look at David and Johnathan in Scripture. Maybe read a great novel like “Brideshead Revisited” which depicts deep affection between male friends.

God does not hate you, God is sorry that you were never given an example of close friendship.

 

[Jesse]

actually i was always surrounded by friends, I had best friend before him for 12 years and a lot of good friends

 

[veritatisstella]

I just wanna know is it wrong and sinful that I want him in my life

It’s not wrong or sinful to want another person in your life, provided you want them for their own sake and not to fulfill your own sinful intentions or desires. Which it sounds like you do not, in this case.

And regardless of how bad a sin someone commits, God still loves that person. The person is still His creation, made in His image and likeness, and called to repentance and a life of grace and intimate friendship with God. There is no sinner God does not care about.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be friends. A romantic or sexual relationship with another man is profoundly disordered and you, of course, should not entertain such thoughts. Always remember appropriate boundaries.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Sometimes there are just one or two people we meet in our lives who affect us that way. If you only ever have this attraction to one or two people and other than that are attracted to and prefer the opposite sex, I’d say it’s not worth the headaches to act on the one or two times you have feelings for someone of the same sex.

Not all love has to end up in a sexual act, and there are times when if you really love someone it’s actually more loving to refrain from sexual contact because it could complicate both of your lives in an undesirable way.

At this point since the person is not in your life, I would suggest you just pray to God for them and for the situation. Pray to God to please handle this situation in the way that is best for you both, even if that means keeping the person out of your life for good.

 

[Mary888]

The Church says you can’t be blamed for these feelings but the sex between you two is a mortal sin. So it is better for you to just stay away because nothing bad happened until now and you should keep it that way. Feelings come and go. The trend is now to act upon them and be happy. But the reality is that romantic hedonism does not prepare you at all for the moment when you realize the feelings are gone however consequences sometimes remain with you to solve them.
If friendship allures you this way - ever tried to just be friends with a girl instead?

 

[Lara]

First, I think you should alter your post so that there is no swearing. We want to help, but prefer nice language.

You have sorted out that your feelings are secondary to truth and what is good. I think that’s great!

Love is mostly about duty and doing the right thing. It’s not really about feeling love for another.

As you get older, you will learn this more and more. Love is a decision and you feel great when you do things for people or sacrifice for them. It’s not about your emotions getting stirred up.

 

[CoeurRempli]

I read that who does one of the 4 sins that cry out to heaven, God doesnt care about them anymore. The way I am looking at that is like God’s saying " f*** you son,you aint my child anymore,peace out"

I don’t know where you read this but it absolutely is not true. God never stops loving or caring for us and is always ready to forgive when we repent.

 

[2towers]

Jesse, sounds like a lot of pain and confusion going on there. If you are still young, this type of thing might pass. This type of thing might have tanked the friendship.

One thing is certain, God is not going to hate you. God doesn’t leave his lambs, but they sometimes leave him. Send or give your Priest a letter, he might have some great help for you. If things get too rough, consider talking with a councilor, who might be able to help you sort things out.