I’ll be praying for you!
Hey, have you considered the possibility that God may be calling you to a new additional form of prayer? That was the case for me. For many months I just couldn’t focus on the mysteries of the rosary anymore. I began to get very scrupulous about this; as all my favorites on EWTN and elsewhere kept saying “pray the rosary daily”! Sure, I knew that going to daily Mass was even more important that saying a million rosaries per day, and I go whenever I can.
But then I discovered a quote from St. Dominic, who in our Catholic tradition is the one from whom the modern version of the rosary we Catholics in the Roman rite pray. He said that next to the Mass and the Liturgy of the Hours, the Rosary is the most important prayer for Catholics.
Then it hit me: The Liturgy of the Hours! I had made some attempts in the past to learn the Divine Office (DO) with no success. But this time I became persistent. I went to a parish nearby where they said Morning and Evening prayers, and stumbled along with the priest and the rest of the congregation. I told the priest that I wanted to learn, and he gave me one of his copies of the book Christian Prayer, which has an abbreviated form of the DO. Then I found on EWTN’s website where you can download the Morning and Evening prayers in audio version, and I was able to painstakingly follow along. I had to keep pressing pause, so see what new part of the book to jump to. Those ribbons were a big help, but what really helped me was buying those sticky-tabs and placing them in various parts of the book.
It was like I was learning to ride a bike for the first time! But it sure paid off. I can’t tell you how psychologically healthy it is for me to pray those psalms. You’re literally verbalizing all of your emotions. That’s probably why people didn’t need psychologists back in the Middle Ages! And learning those hymns in the back is great also-I use my guitar or maybe a keyboard to figure out the melodies. My musical sight-reading has gotten much better also!
So, you see God had a strange way of calling me to a new way of prayer, but it worked! You know what also? I know find it MUCH easier to pray the rosary again. Especially if I do so after the DO.
Hope you get some encouragement out of this long reply