I'm nervous to lose my virginity?

[Allegra]

When you get married, it isn’t “losing” your virginity, it’s giving it to your husband. Since you are supposed to be one flesh according to Scripture, you aren’t really losing anything.

I don’t necessarily agree that this is a case of not being ready for marriage. There are a lot of really unhealthy notions about sex that are propagated around and most of them are extreme. I remember having the first sexual experience described to me by a sixth grade health teacher. I think she was trying to scare us into abstinence by describing it as being a painful, bloody mess. Nearly two decades later, I was really nervous the first time with my husband because I still had it in the back of my mind that it was something that would be painful and unpleasant that one just has to get through in order to move on. (like getting one’s ear’s pierced.) Fortunately, I was pleasantly surprised.

Just remember that sex is good and part of God’s plan for marriage. I also recommend the “Holy Sex!” book.

 

[CaliLobo]

So I’m Kelly and about 5 months ago, this new guy moved to Santa Barbara and started going to my Church. I didn’t notice him, since there are so many people, but he noticed me. He came up and started talking to me after Mass. Shortly after that, we began dating. A couple weeks after that, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I love him because he’s exactly like me, and I knew I wanted to marry him. 5 days ago he proposed to me on my birthday, and I couldn’t have been happier. But now our weddings coming up and I feel like I don’t want to lose my virginity. I love having this status of “Saving it for marriage”, and I don’t want to give that away. I feel like I want to stay a virgin. Is this normal to feel this way?

Let’s put it this way. Do you want to have the tragedy of a sexless marriage? Of course not. That is devastating to both partners, and is borderline an invalid marriage in Catholicism, because you are not open to life.

If you’re not ready for sex, and you believe sex is for marriage, then are you ready for marriage?

And it seems that you feel that sex is so shameful that you’d rather hang on to virginity. But I implore you to find a new way of thinking. Sex is not shameful.

 

[bben15]

First off, congratulations on your engagement! May God grant you two a happy marriage! And may he guide you through marriage prep!

It may be hard to wait, but you will feel better if you save it for marriage. You will not have broken any of God’s laws, and the sex will be more meaningful in marriage.