I'm new here with a question about Tubal Ligation

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Seeks_God

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Hi have a dilemma. A couple of years ago, my wife and I became pregnant with our thrid child. Our relationship was on rocky grounds and we definitely did not include Jesus into our relationship. I can look back and see how I did not necessarily make things easy on my wife during any of her pregnancies. Well, the night before our son was born, she attempted suicide and her doctor decided to induce preganancy. My wife wanted a tubal ligation and I agreed, because, at the time, I didn’t want to face the possibility of another suicide attempt during pregnancy and risk loosing a child as a result? What should I/We do about this? Based on the love and union that is acceptable between a husband and wife, then are we in that union for self-gratification? Any thoughts or advice…?
 
Yeah. After that, consult with a pro-life physician about getting the process reversed. I am unclear on whether or not you are OBLIGATED to get the process reversed, but to the best of my knowledge you would not be obligated. However, get THAT answer from an orthodox priest.
 
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demolitionman65:
Yeah. After that, consult with a pro-life physician about getting the process reversed. I am unclear on whether or not you are OBLIGATED to get the process reversed, but to the best of my knowledge you would not be obligated. However, get THAT answer from an orthodox priest.
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I can’t imagine that one would be "obligated " to have a tubal reversed. Anytime someone has anesthesia, there is some danger involved. I agree confession is in order. And after that , living your life as best as you can according to what God wants. Somehow I think He understands your dilemma and will guide you as He sees fit.
Praying for you,
~ Kathy ~
 
Seeks God:
Hi have a dilemma. A couple of years ago, my wife and I became pregnant with our thrid child. Our relationship was on rocky grounds and we definitely did not include Jesus into our relationship. I can look back and see how I did not necessarily make things easy on my wife during any of her pregnancies. Well, the night before our son was born, she attempted suicide and her doctor decided to induce preganancy. My wife wanted a tubal ligation and I agreed, because, at the time, I didn’t want to face the possibility of another suicide attempt during pregnancy and risk loosing a child as a result? What should I/We do about this? Based on the love and union that is acceptable between a husband and wife, then are we in that union for self-gratification? Any thoughts or advice…?
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Confess you sin and move on, forgiven.

You are not obligated to seek a reversal.
 
Yes, go to confession. But then ask your priest about what you should do. It should be within the teachings of the church.

I have been divorced for over seventeen years. And I’m mentally ill. Several years ago, I was talking with the women’s health coordinator (also a catholic). Oh, this was at the VA. Anyway, I asked her that, considering my “medical” bit, what would she say about me having a child at this point. I have one from my marriage, but she’s now grown. Anyway, Joan thought about it and said that she didn’t think it would be appropriate for me to have any more. I’d have to go off so many of my medications to have a healthy child. And that wouldn’t be good for me. So, we decided that a tubal would be appropriate for me.

After this was discussed, I talked with my priest about it. He about went ballistic. He said that this would never be acceptable. Besides, I wasn’t married then (still unmarried now), so he didn’t see the need for it. I guess he was right. But I was concerned about getting into another relationship. With my ex (we were both non-catholics), he didn’t want to practice self control or birth control. So I had our daughter barely nine months later. Emotionally and physically, I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to go through that again.

When that priest transferred to another parish, and our new one got settled in, I did confess the tubal. He said nothing about it when giving my penance. I haven’t mentioned it since, but I’ve always felt that this was left unforgiven. I don’t worry so much about it now, since I had to have a complete hysterectomy two years ago.

Talk with your priest.
 
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