"I'm spiritual, but not religious" and "the monotony of ritual"?

[MCPFgrace]

Hello all! I’m a twentysomething year old young adult and have invited my eightysomething year old grandma back to Church with me this Sunday, and she said yes! But she’s been away from the Church for a while, and considers herself **“spiritual, but not religious.” ** She says most of her prayers nowadays center on gratitude for life

She also says that she doesn’t really “get anything” out of the mass, and to paraphrase a little she said that the "rote/monotony of the ritual and all the standing up sitting down and kneeling repetitively" is a big turn off for her.

I think there are a few other things she disagrees with in regards to what the church teaches, but it seems that those things are more on an emotional rather than rational level, practically meaning that it’s not like she is a super intellectual with a laundry list of counter-points but rather a well meaning lady who just doesn’t quite get how the fullness of the truth can mesh with how she feels.

Anyone have some tips on how to approach going to mass with her this weekend, or some good things to keep in mind or any particular way to address these deep-seated feelings she has?

Thank you!

 

[pensmama87]

You might give her a book such as The Lamb’s Supper or Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist. I’m not sure if she would read them, but they do explain a lot about the Mass in a very readable way with sound theology.

As far as the actual day, simply pray and be at Mass with your grandmother, and pray for her to have her eyes opened and perceive the wonder that is happening before her eyes. Lots of people don’t see it. It is wonderful that she is going there to be with you when she hasn’t for so long.

You might mention, shortly, some of what you love about Mass. It’s the celebration of Jesus’s gift of eternal life from his sacrifice. It’s remained remarkably consistent through the ages, and a billion people worship this way every Sunday as Jesus asked us. The actual real body, blood, soul and divinity of Christ is made present. That is a big deal, and calls for some reverence. But your grandmother may not realize that is what is happening. Bad catechesis is definitely a thing.

I also hope that you go to a parish where the liturgy is well celebrated. My MIL is fallen away, and while I think a lot of that has to do with poor catechesis, it definitely seems that in some of the parishes near her that nobody thinks what is going on is important - just another thing to do, ho-hum, ho-hum.

 

[Dorothy]

Perhaps your pastor knows of a book about the Mass and all the parts of it. Every part of the Mass has such deep meaning, and is designed to draw us in.

The Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith. What can compare with receiving the Risen Christ to be with us on the Way!

I am sure you are praying for her, and I will say a prayer for her right now.

Peace,

Dorothy

 

[DebChris]

There is an old story about a mother who always cut two inches off the end of her ham when she baked it. She taught the same thing to her daughter. One day the young girl ask why and the mother said, “I don’t know. I’ll ask my mother.” Finally they asked the woman who started it all who said, “It was so the ham would fit in the pan.”
Sometimes we do the same things over and over without understanding why. Without understanding the reasons behind the rituals, they are meaningless as wasting good meat when a person has a big enough pan to fit the meat.
Many people have now come to use the term “I’m am spiritual, but not religious” as a lazy way to avoid searching for the deeper meaning behind what is done everyday. They simply reject the day to day routine as unnecessary. It is a great thing to thankful. It is also a great thing to brush teeth on a daily basis, a ritual that we most continue to do everyday because we know that reason behind the daily ritual. If I brush my teeth, I am less likely to develop cavities. I exercise to grow stronger physically or maintain fitness.
The daily prayer ritual can be comforting and comfortable, or it can grow mundane depending upon personal attitude. When we understand that the desire of Jesus Christ to have a personal relationship with each of us, the desire to spend time with Him becomes less of a chore, a “should” and something we want to do as it will deepen our relationship with God whom we desire to spend eternity with. Our prayer life strengthens us and empowers us for whatever God may have in store. With God, I can do all things.

 

[RPRPsych]

You might give her a book such as The Lamb’s Supper or Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist. I’m not sure if she would read them, but they do explain a lot about the Mass in a very readable way with sound theology.

“The Lamb’s Supper” is an excellent book for this particular situation.

It’s also available as an audio book if your grandmother finds it hard to read: audible.com.au/pd/Religion-Spirituality/The-Lambs-Supper-Audiobook/B00FPJW0LS

 

[ChurchSoldier]

Glad she is going to mass with you. Sounds like your work is done and time to let the Holy Spirit have a go.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

The Lamb’s Supper is excellent.

That being said, some Catholics recoil when they hear a person say that they are spiritual, but not religious.

However, such a person is still searching for truth.

On the other hand, there are those who are religious, but not spiritual. They think they have all the need and do not feel the need to become spiritual, because they think they already are. This is more dangerous than being spiritual, but not religious.

Jim

 

[Bill_Martin]

Take a look at the two Fulton Sheen videos below. They deepened my understanding of the sacrifice of the Mass and really changed going to Mass for me in a good way. He commented in one of them that we don’t get anything out of Mass because we don’t bring knowledge of what is going on to it. We wouldn’t get much out of a football game if we know nothing about football.

youtube.com/watch?v=sr_57fD6Ado

youtube.com/watch?v=1Hkassb4_Gc