I'm tired of praying!

[Joysong]

P.S., Lexee,

Regarding the title of this thread, there comes a time when we are incapable of praying due to the intensity and long-suffering of our trial. That’s when we have to rely on others to pray our cause. I had to ask for outside help myself, last week, for it just got to be too overwhelming. Think about Jesus the night before He died. He needed and asked for the prayer support of his apostles.

Thanks be to God for such faithful friends!

Carole

 

[Lexee15]

Joysong:

Dear Lexee,
Sweetie, you need a good rest to regain your mental health. It won’t be possible while you keep playing the same record. It’s as if you were looking at a parade through a fence peephole. One minute the dragon goes by and scares you to death. The next minute comes the clown and makes you feel better. Unfortunately, you can’t see the whole parade, but only what is passing immediately in front of your peephole, and that is what you react to. Like a perpetual roller-coaster!

Carole

Yes, I do need a good rest, but how do I do that when I’m in the middle of everything? He’s got court this week for his DUI arrest, this would be his third, two in California and one here. I believe he could get 5-10 days in jail or community service and his license revoked. I am hoping, and I think this is bad, that the judge throws the book at him and gives him the maximum jail time and not the community service. He’s had community service before and because he’s a “celebirty” of sorts the organizations let him off, he just gives them a “donation” and they sign off on his paperwork and off he goes like nothing happened. He NEVER suffers consequences for his actions :tsktsk: , my leaving him would just make life easier for him, I am not the first woman (wife) to leave him, he’s used to it and used to not raising his children, so the only thing that would really hurt him would be to lose his freedom. That’s the only consequence that would mean anything to him, spending time in jail, being forced into an addiction program and having his license revoked :crying: . I’ve even considered getting the media involved, making an annonymous call and having his mistake made public. Everyone (his fans) thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread, he protrays himself as a family man, defender of women…basically a mr. know-it-all who can give advice on how others should live their lives when he has no clue about what morals and values are. :banghead: I never thought I’d marry a hypocrite, those people I have little tolerance for. If I did that would that be just plain mean, taking it out of God’s hands and being vengeful? I just wish people would see him for who he really is not who he pretends to be, but is that my job? He wasn’t like this, I must say that fame and money have really gone to his head.

Even his family has noticed and dealt with it, he was aweful to them while we were in California this past week. He expected everyone to drop what they were doing to attend to him when he wanted it, his mom begged him to spend one hour with her in the six days he was there, he told her he was too busy and besides he didn’t want to go over there because all they wanted was something from him. He flashed his money around and thought he was the big s***. His family was very disappointed in what they saw and dealt with, to the point where his brother told me that I needed to take care of myself and the baby because it seemed as if he wasn’t going to change and after what they saw they didn’t think I should have to deal with a person like him.

 

[Lexee15]

Joysong:

P.S., Lexee,

Regarding the title of this thread, there comes a time when we are incapable of praying due to the intensity and long-suffering of our trial. That’s when we have to rely on others to pray our cause. I had to ask for outside help myself, last week, for it just got to be too overwhelming. Think about Jesus the night before He died. He needed and asked for the prayer support of his apostles.

Thanks be to God for such faithful friends!

Carole

I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through and you are in my prayers also. I know that you’re now divorced so this must have to do with your daughter, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine you having to deal with all you dealt with with your ex and then have to continue to suffer, which I imagine hurts more, with your daughter. You’ve endured so much already and for so long, I hope God’s Infinite Mercy fills your heart and life and makes that cross a bit lighter, at least until you recover some strength again I’m glad you have others praying for you, and like I said I will also.
Lexee

 

[Lexee15]

Okay, now I am getting worried, I still haven’t heard from him and I found out he has been drinking heavily. No one knows where he’s at and he missed work yesterday and today. This is not characteristic of him…he’ll blow me off but not work. I also know how he gets when he drinks…he’s lost, I’ve been with him on a couple of his drunken stuppers and each time he choked on his vomit. He left the house with some sweats, a sweatshirt and a cap…he didn’t even take his wallet with him, so he has no id on him. I am going to pray that he’s safe where ever he may be, the Chicago nights are really cold now I just hope he’s somewhere warm.

 

[Joysong]

Dear Lexee,

I’m glad you have others praying for you, and like I said I will also.

Thanks ever so much for your kindness in offering prayer for me. With all you have on your plate at this time, I doubly appreciate it! Actually, things have slackened their sting a little, thanks to all who prayed. No problems with my ex whatsoever, nor my daughter. I can’t think of anything so bad to equal those former days, but every now and then we realize the cross will not be absent from our daily lives. I think it keeps us close to God.

Please keep us informed about your husband. My prayers go with you today, and I’ll offer my mass for your situation.

Carole

 

[Lexee15]

Joysong:

Dear Lexee,

Thanks ever so much for your kindness in offering prayer for me. With all you have on your plate at this time, I doubly appreciate it! Actually, things have slackened their sting a little, thanks to all who prayed. No problems with my ex whatsoever, nor my daughter. I can’t think of anything so bad to equal those former days, but every now and then we realize the cross will not be absent from our daily lives. I think it keeps us close to God.

Please keep us informed about your husband. My prayers go with you today, and I’ll offer my mass for your situation.

Carole

Well he still hasn’t called me or anything of the sort, but I know he’s fine since he’s at work this morning. I turned the radio on and there he was on the air…so he’s fine…I’ll just go back to feeling the way I did, I knew I shouldn’t have worried about him. He’s out doing what he wants and I’m here worried making myself sick…well that’s the end of that. He doesn’t deserve my worries, I need to take care of my baby and the one to come…he’s an adult, he can take care of himself. But funny, I wasn’t nearly as worried about him as I would have been a year ago…boy they can kill every bit of feeling for them can’t they!!!

 

[Lexee15]

Well it seems my husband does not have a repentant bone in his body :banghead: He went to work on Monday morning and his bosses had a serious talk about his behavior and that they were going to get him into a therapist for treatment…he agreed and said he needed help (he’s a great manipulator…but aren’t they all?) and they set the appointment for him tomorrow afternoon. Well he finally came home at 1:30 this morning, he slept in the other room and didn’t come out until the late afternoon…needless to say he didn’t go to work this morning. His boss called the house and I told him he was here and he said okay then proceeded to inform me that he was going to personally take him to the therapist tomorrow and that he was to receive a call from the therapist whenever he didn’t show for an appointment …that’s what he gets!!! Now I have found out that he’s still seeing that 19 year old girl :nope:can you believe that? How can he say he wants his marriage to work and keep her on the side…but that’s not the best part I found out he’s messing around with ANOTHER girl :whacky: This guy is nuts…how could I have been so wrong about the person I chose to marry?

I really don’t care anymore, I thank God and the Holy Spirit for putting what I need to know in front of me and giving me the strength to make the decisions I need to make. We are closing on a house on Monday and moving in that day, if he decides to not come home again after we are in the new house I will be telling him he has to leave. I am pregnant and I need peace and tranquility, I don’t need this aggravation. I get nothing from him anyway except economically, so he can continue to do that and I don’t have to deal with this headache anymore. Once the baby is born I’ll talk to him about divorce, it’s all about actions now…words don’t mean a thing and if he doesn’t want to be with us then we are better off without him!!! What do you all think?

Oh by the way, he took off to the casino again this afternoon…his boss had him hunted down pretty much and forced to come home cause he was told he had to show up at work in the morning, ha ha, that’s what he gets…he wants to act like a child…well looks like he’ll be treated like one, he showed up at home a few hours later.

 

[Mom_of_one]

Oh honey, I am so sorry that you are hurting this way and I am sorry that you are going through this. I have found that God often uses situations like this to bring to our attention what needs to be done in our own interior life. I have been through the wringer and God has brought much healing. He is a good God, a faithful God, and a loving God and He will not fail you when others let you down and hurt you. And He will take the hurts caused by others and redeem those hurts. And then, if it is His Will, He will bring a wonderful man of God into your life. He did mine, for a time. I’ll pray for you. And congrats on that baby.

 

[Lexee15]

Mom of one:

Oh honey, I am so sorry that you are hurting this way and I am sorry that you are going through this. I have found that God often uses situations like this to bring to our attention what needs to be done in our own interior life. I have been through the wringer and God has brought much healing. He is a good God, a faithful God, and a loving God and He will not fail you when others let you down and hurt you. And He will take the hurts caused by others and redeem those hurts. And then, if it is His Will, He will bring a wonderful man of God into your life. He did mine, for a time. I’ll pray for you. And congrats on that baby.

Thank you for your kind and inspiring words I have to agree with you, I feel a surge of energy as if I’m going to be okay no matter what happens. For awhile there I was tormented with thoughts of what will I do if we seperate, how will I move on, etc, and that’s before I knew I was pregnant, now I feel like everything will be okay. Am I disgusted…absolutely, I think his behavior is just attrocious, but I feel okay…I’m not afraid anymore, God will provide.

 

[Lexee15]

Well I really don’t think any of my prayers, the prayers of my family and friends or the prayers of his family have done any good :nope: . I just found out today that he has ANOTHER woman on the side…what is that three !!! I really don’t see what His plan could possibly be, it seems the more we pray the worse he gets, I feel like we’re all getting discouraged. He’s headed to an ugly ugly place, I don’t know why he’s doing this, he knows right from wrong, he knows God yet chooses to do terrible evil things. What in the world could be His plan for my husband, for us, for those who care about him. It’s heartwrenching, but I feel okay, the more I find out the less surprised I am and it certainly doesn’t seem to be affecting me much anymore. I know I will eventually break down once it all hits me, but for now thank God and our Blessed Mother, I feel pretty strong…I think it’s also because I know I have this new child to think about and I can’t let his behavior affect me. Can I actually say that there is no hope for him? We all are very discouraged, it seems that prayer hasn’t helped a thing and only made things worse…is this what happens during times of crisis?

 

[Della]

Lexee15:

Well I really don’t think any of my prayers, the prayers of my family and friends or the prayers of his family have done any good :nope: . I just found out today that he has ANOTHER woman on the side…what is that three !!! I really don’t see what His plan could possibly be, it seems the more we pray the worse he gets, I feel like we’re all getting discouraged. He’s headed to an ugly ugly place, I don’t know why he’s doing this, he knows right from wrong, he knows God yet chooses to do terrible evil things. What in the world could be His plan for my husband, for us, for those who care about him. It’s heartwrenching, but I feel okay, the more I find out the less surprised I am and it certainly doesn’t seem to be affecting me much anymore. I know I will eventually break down once it all hits me, but for now thank God and our Blessed Mother, I feel pretty strong…I think it’s also because I know I have this new child to think about and I can’t let his behavior affect me. Can I actually say that there is no hope for him? We all are very discouraged, it seems that prayer hasn’t helped a thing and only made things worse…is this what happens during times of crisis?

I totally understand your heartbreak and your frustration, but no one can turn him around if he doesn’t want to be. That’s his decision, not anyone else’s. And you don’t know how much worse the situation might be without your prayers. Truly!

You know, sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom before he will admit he has a problem and has made a huge muck of things by the sins he has committed. He has to come to see how he has hurt so many people and himself, as well. It sounds to me like he is addicted to sex. There are programs out there to help people with this, but he has to want to do something about it.

Keep on praying for him! God loves him no matter how bad things get or how deep into sin he might sink. He came to save the lost and it may take a lifetime for some to see how wrong they’ve been, but your prayers will save him in the end, even if it seems now like they are doing no good. But, you may be surprised, too, and see a turn around sooner than that. I sincerely pray so for all your sakes.

 

[savrx]

Lexee,

I can’t imagine your pain and suffering right now. Please know that those of us in this thread are saying prayers on your behalf that God would, in HIs infinite mercy and compassion, find a way to ease your suffering and protect and guide your husband from his error.

When I was younger in my college days I went through a 2 year period of rebellion, including all manner of sin. I remember distinctly thinking about God during that time, but my view of Him was caricatured in a way…as if the devil was making me think of God as fake in order to feel better about ignoring what I knew to be His ways.

I tell you this not to discourage you, but to encourage you that even when we sometimes think things are hopeless (as I did), God finds a way to break in and show us Himself.

Take comfort in the resounding words of our late JPII, who said “DO NOT BE AFRAID!” Whenever I hear or read that constant call he gave to us…I think of 2 Tim 1:7: “For God did not give us a spirit of fear but rather of power and love and self-control.”

So don’t be afraid. Be powerful (with your husband’s behavior), be loving (hate the sin, not the sinner) and use the spirit God has given you to control any urges that want to divert you from that plan.

May God bless you!

 

[Breeze]

I would RUN, not walk, to the nearest Al-Anon meeting. It’s imperative that you learn what it is you are dealing with…not the misconceptions, not the prejudices, but the actual reality of alcoholism and addiction.

The immoral behavior is a symptom of a DISEASE. Alcoholism is a fatal disease. 97% of all UNTREATED alcoholics die…usually of a violent death; car accident, suicide, liver disease, falling down the stairs, slipping in the shower, etc.

If your husband had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, diabetes, Lou Gehrig’s disease, cancer, muscular dystrophy, etc., I bet you would be reading everything you could get your hands on to understand what was happening and to support him in the correct way.

Read all you can about alcoholism. Get to Al-Anon. Find the correct way to support him … which often is tough-love so as not to enable him. But learn to do it correctly, from the people who have been in your exact situation. Learn from them how to keep yourself healthy…physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Pray, pray, pray…but also get out and do your homework which is studying exactly what this disease is about and working and learning through Al-anon.

…for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.

Too many people see the alcoholic as a Bad person who needs to get Better, rather than what he actually is…a Sick person who needs to get Well.

Through the grace of God, I am 18 years sober. I will pray, pray, and then pray some more for you. Just know that so much of the love, support and strength you need right now, God has provided through His angels in Al-Anon.

Just me,
breeze

 

[Marilena]

The whole world needs prayers! Myself, I cannot seem to want to
pray enough! I can pray all day! I was even thinking of getting another
prayer book!

 

[jenreg]

it is very late here so I may not make much sense of what I say…but I think that prayer is the first and foremost answer…AlAnon helped me several years ago…when I wasn’t sure about what was going on in my family. I am glad I went and found out a lot about the disease…and read their literature…etc…, I must say now that I wish I had never stopped going, but I did…and hesitate to go back. I have now become more involved in our parish and also with adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. It is a very wonderful gift we have been given in our parish…the ability to spend quiet time with God… anytime of the day or night…and to actually feel his presence…If you have Perpetual Adoration in your parish, you might want to find out something about it…I have found it to be so very special for me and my relationship with the Lord…that I want everyone to give it a try…if they can. Many blessings , hopefully, will come to many peoples, families, towns, and countries through the prayers offered during holy hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament.