immodest dress

[BobCatholic]

I need arguments against immodest dress.

The argument I’m getting is that she should be proud of her body. I disagree with this.

 

[ladylinguist]

I need arguments against immodest dress.

The argument I’m getting is that she should be proud of her body. I disagree with this.

How about pointing out that being proud of something doesn’t mean that you have to show it off at all times.
My friend Kristin has an amazingly angelic voice, but that doesn’t mean she goes around singing 24/7 when it would be inappropriate to do so.
I’m sure Michael Phelps is proud of his 8 gold medals, but does he walk around everyday with them hanging around his neck?
I imagine someone proud of say, graduating college, doesn’t walk around holding their diploma to show off their accomplishment.
Point out that pride in your body (by which I take to mean that you’re comfortable with your body and pleased with the fact that it’s healthy and capable) is something that can be felt and seen in your behavior. Running around half-naked makes you look insecure and desperate for attention.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

I need arguments against immodest dress.

The argument I’m getting is that she should be proud of her body. I disagree with this.**

Are we talking about a grown woman or a teen? Or a child?

And what is your relationship to her?

I agree with the above poster who said that running around half naked projects the opposite of confidence and pride… looking desperate and insecure is NOT pretty.
**

 

[os_justi]

Last I heard, Christ preached humility, not flaunting ourselves with pride.

 

[monicatholic]

your relationship with her is important. if you’re the dad, it’s your job.

i’m fairly amazed at the obstinant arguments Christian women make to justify immodesty-- ranging from all the usual suspects i.e., ***who says it’s immodest ***and people should keep their eyes to themselves all the way to nouveau justifications like ***i want to show off this tattoo. ***

 

[Dianemtv]

How about the tempting of others to sin with lustful thoughts? Sounds like a reasonable reason to cover up to me.

 

[Sam_Maloney]

Not a fan of most ‘modesty’ arguements unless people specify what they mean by it. There was a time not long ago when women were considered immodest if they wore trousers: my own mother was asked not to attend Mass in hers anymore, until they found out she was working in a machine gun factory [WWII] and either had to attend in pants, or not at all.

That is NOT the same as saying there is no such thing as modesty. But I’m not a card carrying member of the burqua brigade, either.

As to being proud of her body: she should be! It’s a gift from God. That doesn’t mean it should be on constant display. That which we value most is to be cherished, not cheapened.

Clothing is communication: ask her-- and yourself-- what her clothes say to people who don’t know her. Does they make her look intelligent, worthy of respect, and worth getting to know; or cheap, easy to ‘get’ as a kleenex, and just as disposable?

 

[BobCatholic]

She’s a grown woman. And someone’s wife at that. Not sure if that makes a difference in the arguments.

WWBMS? (What would Barbara McGuigan say?)

 

[SeekerJen]

She’s a grown woman. And someone’s wife at that. Not sure if that makes a difference in the arguments.

WWBMS? (What would Barbara McGuigan say?)

I guess without knowing WHAT she’s wearing, we can only make general suggestions. This is a tough one without specifics, as some think that any trousers on women are immodest, or shirts with sleeves above the elbows, or open-toed shoes.

If she’s wearing things that your average Catholic would find immodest, then one could always make the argument that one should dress for whatever state in life one aspires to, and thus one should not dress like a hooker if one doesn’t aspire to be one.

 

[chevalier]

She isn’t proud of her body. She wants to seem proud of it. Therefore she probably needs reassurance. Marital problems? She needs help.

 

[StratusRose]

She’s a grown woman. And someone’s wife at that. Not sure if that makes a difference in the arguments.

WWBMS? (What would Barbara McGuigan say?)

She sounds like she’s insecure. Ask her if she wants people to know her by her body or by her personality/intelligence/kindness, etc.

I would also remind her that looks fade.

 

[duskyjewel]

BobCatholic, who is this woman to you? Is there any reason she should care what you think? Like, if this is your daughter or your wife, I could see how you might feel obligated to say something and they should care what you think. But if this is a buddy’s wife or an acquaintance, she won’t care what you think and will feel no obligation to listen to you.

 

[SeekerJen]

BobCatholic, who is this woman to you? Is there any reason she should care what you think? Like, if this is your daughter or your wife, I could see how you might feel obligated to say something and they should care what you think. But if this is a buddy’s wife or an acquaintance, she won’t care what you think and will feel no obligation to listen to you.

Although if it is a good buddy’s wife, you could say something to him, like “You don’t care that your wife’s going around like that and all the men are ogling her?”

 

[Sarabande]

She’s a grown woman. And someone’s wife at that. Not sure if that makes a difference in the arguments.

WWBMS? (What would Barbara McGuigan say?)

I don’t know how she is in relation to you, but I would say that it’s up to her husband and close family members to advise her on the way she is dressed. If she isn’t close to you, whatever you say will probably not make a difference.

What kind of immodest dress is she wearing?

I have found that doing things by example is a better way. For me, when I was in my early 20s, some of the women I started to admire were those who had “perfect” bodies, but always dressed with class. They looked and truly were a cut above the rest - intelligent, beautiful, classy, talented and spiritual in whatever faith they were part of. They never had to show off their beauty or talent. It was their confidence, intelligence and love for others that showed their beauty and taught me what true beauty is. Physical beauty fades, but inner beauty stays forever. As I’ve matured, I’ve learned how to create a classy, yet modest style of dress - and I do it for my dignity and self-worth as a person of God - not for other women or men.

If you do have a say in how this person in question dresses, perhaps who can bring that up - dressing for her dignity and self-worth as a person of God. To me, when someone says that they are doing it because they are proud of their body or if "they’ve got it, flaunt it, " etc., it shows to me a shallow level of self-worth and self-love. One should have the inner confidence and love for self and others to not have to do things like that.

 

[Sarabande]

Although if it is a good buddy’s wife, you could say something to him, like “You don’t care that your wife’s going around like that and all the men are ogling her?”

Sad thing is, I know and know of men who encourage their wives to dress immodestly. (My husband will lament to me some of the things men in his office will talk about.) They think it is showing off to the other men what they can’t have. It’s horrible. There’s this thing that men apparently use for married women with children who are considered really “hot”: “MILF” or something like that. I can’t say what it means on-line, but apparently Sarah Palin is considered a MILF as I’ve heard it many times on-line and even just walking in randomly in stores and overhearing men discuss it. There are men who like the idea of their wives being considered as MILFs, which is a very sad thing, indeed.

 

[ElisabethM]

Sad thing is, I know and know of men who encourage their wives to dress immodestly.

This what came to my mind too. It’s disgusting and degrading, but I know it is very common.

I recently read a book called “It’s So You!” all about helping women to dress their best. Dressing modestly helps a woman present her best, drawing attention to her face, the window of her soul. A woman’s dress should always lead the viewer to her beautiful face.

Modesty goes hand in hand with dignity.

EM

 

[SeekerJen]

Sad thing is, I know and know of men who encourage their wives to dress immodestly. (My husband will lament to me some of the things men in his office will talk about.) They think it is showing off to the other men what they can’t have. It’s horrible. There’s this thing that men apparently use for married women with children who are considered really “hot”: “MILF” or something like that. I can’t say what it means on-line, but apparently Sarah Palin is considered a MILF as I’ve heard it many times on-line and even just walking in randomly in stores and overhearing men discuss it. There are men who like the idea of their wives being considered as MILFs, which is a very sad thing, indeed.

True enough. I really, really hate that term “MILF”. How crude and classless. I think it says a lot more about the user than it does about the woman in question.

 

[Sarabande]

True enough. I really, really hate that term “MILF”. How crude and classless. I think it says a lot more about the user than it does about the woman in question.

Totally!!! I can’t stand that term as well as “Butterface” for a woman who has a “great” body, but her face… Incredibly degrading.

Maybe it’s the women and the men I’ve hung around with, but I had never heard of either one of those terms until I heard it in passing as an adult and then asked my husband or someone else what that meant.

Those terminologies and I believe much of what is touted as “beautiful” and “sexy” in the media market don’t help in promoting dignity and real love in a woman (or a man for that matter). It just continues to perpetuate the idea that a human is just a toy who can be superficially revered, used, trashed, etc. It has nothing to do with being “proud” of one’s physical endowments. I have been labeled a “feminist” by a couple people I know when I talk like this because as I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown to believe that things like this - beauty pageants and other similar things do nothing but hurt the true beauty of a woman. If that makes me a feminist, oh well. But truly, when I began to truly ask myself why I dressed a certain way, the answers I gave to myself were very telling for me and admiring the women I spoke about in my previous post helped me to see how to present real beauty - not something superficial.

I really don’t know how the OP could bring this question of immodest dress to the other person tactfully, unless he does it in a sort of philosophical discussion on a human’s psyche and how they subconciously or conciously use clothing to achieve certain things like finding a mate, getting a job, etc. Then kind of go into discussing how each of them dress and their motives for the way they dress - if it has to do with personality, expression, instill intimidation, admiration, lust?, etc. Perhaps it would get her thinking without you sounding like you’re judging her. Because even if you aren’t and want to tell he in a loving way, people will sometimes take it wrongly and will sometimes get the case of “My lady doth protest too much.”

 

[iluvmybabies]

I need arguments against immodest dress.

The argument I’m getting is that she should be proud of her body. I disagree with this.

I strongly believe that if you have a gorgeous body be thankful to GOD, that HE blessed you this way, but physical isn’t all important and no one should ever let their physical beauty interfere with being a humble human being…With that said, the need to show off your gorgeous body is usually a sign of desperate attention necessity, believe me I should know. When I was a young teen I did that, I flaunted as much as I could, perhaps not too exaggerating, but enough to attrack major attention you know? And that’s the whole reason I did it. Of course when I turned 18 and was a bit more mature I decided how ridiculous and foolish I had been, and felt so sorry for myself for doing what I had done…You can dress beautifully without losing clothing items, nor showing too much skin. You can be sexy and conservative at the same time, and there are plenty of clothes that help flaunt you without you needing to show off skin…
Good luck to you and God bless!