Immodest glances and lust

[Askr]

so let me get this straight…as long as you don’t have any explicitly sexual thoughts or desires it isn’t lust?

 

[Newbie2]

Would you feel comfortable knowing they’d caught you “glancing”?

Only if you’re using binoculars.

If i want some strawberries i will go to the shop and inspect and look at which ones to buy

if i want a jacket i will also go and have a look

Sometimes when shopping with my mother, after looking around , i spot something or something catches my eye and go towards it to inspect it closer,then my mother will say ‘come on come on forget it’ you dont need that or it ***costs too much ***

Sometimes this applies to women, as well…

Some may not be interested in a women ,their beauty or the nice shape of their body so they dont let themselves get drawn in too much by staring or inspecting

But to look casually at women as we use our eyes to look around, unless we go live in a cave it may be hard not to see women around us,but a second look will show further interest

Problematic if a married man is “eye shopping” for women, methinks. But just people watching and appreciating beauty as it strolls by is OK…just don’t stare or creep anyone out.

I occasionally find myself looking at people, both men and women, who are “interesting” looking. Not necessarily good, bad, or especially different looking, just different. I try very hard not to stare, as such would be rude, but it’s fascinating how there can be billions of people on this planet and with the exception of identical twins, no two people look alike.

 

[duneman]

I have a 16 year old daughter that complains of, in her words “really creepy old guys” looking at her in ways that “creep me out.” I suppose it is fortunate that I have not seen this, because I may end up in jail…

how does she dress in public ???

 

[francisca]

I appreciate all of the responses–they’re helpful.

Something I really struggle with is whether its sinful to look at an immodestly dressed female. Especially in the summer, a lot of girls have their bra straps hanging out–I see this way too frequently at church, as you’ve probably experienced yourself–and inevitably I take an admiring look and then I get really scrupulous. Imagining yourself taking off a girl’s clothes is definitely lust, but it’s tough when they’re already got their underwear hanging out. I think to myself: is looking at this girl’s bra strap lustful in and of itself, or do I have to imagine myself actually being impure with her? It’s one thing to look at women who are dressed somewhat decently, but it’s another when you’re in a culture that exalts immodesty. Half the women on any given city street are not dressed with much modesty, and yet I find myself looking at them, and I worry that it’s sinful.

Please do not fix yourself in the idea of “immodesty”.

Human body is created modest. No clothes can make a human being become immodest.

The idea of immodesty only present because of sinful hearts and sinful culture. We live in a sinful world. This world teach us and feed us worldly values, those not necessarily useful for our soul.

God wills women to be pretty, so women dress themselves to be pretty. God also create beautiful flowers, beautiful mountains, beaches, skies. It’s alright to look at those.

On the contrary it’s not alright to always have prejudice of immodesty in our heart. In fact Genesis teach us that man and woman began to have an idea of “immodesty” only after the fall. This shows that immodesty is not the source of sinfulness, rather, sinfulness is the source of “the idea of immodesty”

Your scrupulousness maybe an indication that sin is alive and has been speaking to you. You may want to silence it by believing in the goodness of God’s intention in HIs creations.

 

[eegardner]

how does she dress in public ???

She is very modest. She hates low-cut tops, short shorts and mini skirts. Anything that shows a lot of skin she avoids.

 

[duneman]

She is very modest. She hates low-cut tops, short shorts and mini skirts. Anything that shows a lot of skin she avoids.

super for her, some of 'em i see running around town look like they are “working” girls and i am sure the parents dont even care … God bless you both !!

 

[eegardner]

super for her, some of 'em i see running around town look like they are “working” girls and i am sure the parents dont even care … God bless you both !!

I know what you mean, it is difficult to even shop for teenage girl clothing. I was in Old Navy with my daughter and so much of it was in very poor taste. Even clothing for pre-teens looked like hooker clothes. I asked the sales girl if they had any clothes that did not look like they were made for little hookers. She looked at me like I was speaking Latin, a blank stare followed by “what do you mean?” Needless to say we left without a purchase. Thank you!

 

[julianmack]

From Moral Theology by Rev. Heribert Jone 1953

Section 237.

“c) To look at the indecent parts of a person of the opposite sex is gravely sinful, unless done unexpectedly or superficially or momentarily or from a distance or if it is a question of little children. - In itself it is not very wrong to look at the less decent parts of such persons, unless this is continues for some time -”