Immodest Glances/Lust Question

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HeavenChaser

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Hi everyone,

My name is Ryan and I am 17 years old. Recently a situation came up and it is driving me crazy. I had this passing thought saying I should look at a women’s modestly dressed chest. Immediately I recognized the devil trying to tempt to me, and said do not consent that is wrong. However a second later I looked at the girls breasts for a split second then stopped myself saying stop it. With that said my question is, did I lust and consent to the thought losing my state of grace or only give partial consent? I felt I had a good grasp on this recently but every time I say that I once again fall into the Devils trap. When situations like this happen I get very upset because that is not who I am, I tell our pastor every time after confession my life goal is to go to heaven. I should also mention I believe I am scrupulously, and my preist says all the time don’t torture yourself. All of your answers are much appreciated. Thank you and God Bless.
 
Men’s eyes are drawn to things like that involuntarily. I think it is a genetic reflex. The secret is when you catch yourself glancing, don’t linger. Use that as a reminder to show that woman the respect she deserves.

It gets easier when you get older. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Also, don’t shift blame by blaming it on the girls clothing. She has the right to dress as she pleases. You should still be a gentleman.
 
HeavenChaser said:
Hi everyone,

My name is Ryan and I am 17 years old. Recently a situation came up and it is driving me crazy. I had this passing thought saying I should look at a women’s modestly dressed chest. Immediately I recognized the devil trying to tempt to me, and said do not consent that is wrong. However a second later I looked at the girls breasts for a split second then stopped myself saying stop it. With that said my question is, did I lust and consent to the thought losing my state of grace or only give partial consent? I felt I had a good grasp on this recently but every time I say that I once again fall into the Devils trap. When situations like this happen I get very upset because that is not who I am, I tell our pastor every time after confession my life goal is to go to heaven. I should also mention I believe I am scrupulously, and my preist says all the time don’t torture yourself. All of your answers are much appreciated. Thank you and God Bless.
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Based on what you said, I don’t think you feel into lust. Rather you failed to maintain custody of your eyes.

Most likely a venial sin, if sinful. When at confession, you could confession something like: “I failed to control my thoughts by failing to maintain custody over my eyes.”

Don’t beat yourself up. All beauty comes from God, so it’s natural to admire God’s beautiful creations. What’s not OK is to lust after or selfishly use God’s beautiful creations.

God Bless
 
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What about immodest images in media ie not porn things like thumbnails or things I’m not expecting like in an Instagram feed or rap videos when I try to listen if YouTube for a spilt second ( sometimes I actually want to view the content like listening to a song but get a small glimpse is this a sin I did not go back to see the thumbnail or accidentally go back or look at it when I’m trying to delete it is it still a sin)but things were they show scantily clad people would this be a sin if I clicked off immediately as I realized what I viewed.
 
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God made human bodies so we can see them. If he didn’t want us to be able to see them, we would all possibly be a bunch of necks and heads bouncing around. That would be a little silly, wouldn’t it?

If you go seeking to look at a female body part for no other reason to sexually arouse yourself, then most Catholics here would agree that is lustful and not the thing to do.

It does not sound at all like that is what you were doing. You can look at females’ bodies because, well, you like to look at female bodies. There is nothing wrong or sinful in that.

I think your priest is giving you good advice when he says not to torture yourself. Based on the description of the event, you are going to receive all kinds of responses from well-meaning people here. The problem is, they don’t know you and they weren’t “there” when whatever happened, happened. I would suggest you keep the diaglogue going with your priest. He can best guide you and discuss these issues with you as they come up.
 
What about content in media like thumbnails and rap videos as I said
 
Stop torturing yourself and speak about these things to your confessor.
 
It’s one of those things that depends on your interior disposition. You cannot avoiding looking once if you look on accident.

It sounds like your eyes simply landed on a spot and you were self conscious about it. Don’t worry too much over it.
 
Theboi said:
What about content in media like thumbnails and rap videos as I said
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All I can say about that is you need to live in the world God placed you in. I have never been a 17 year old boy, so I probably am not the best person to give you advice on this. Just looking at something isn’t sinful, in my opionion. What you do with it, may be.

Again, I think this is something a priest or spiritual director could help you with in discerning what is appropriate for you, as an indiviual.
 
Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut, I understand we all slip up at times it’s just I try to be as perfect and as holy as possible so when I do slip up it is just disappointing because I know I can do better. Ironically I just wrote a paper in English about perfectionism and how it is not worth it because it can make you go crazy, maybe it was some sort of sign from God saying I just need to take a deep breath, relax, and do your best to fight off temptation. Once again thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut, and God Bless you all.
 
I think your looking at women is completely normal for a 17 year old boy, exactly the way your biology is supposed to work.

As for whether you sinned, talk to a priest. In my opinion, there are a whole lot more important things to worry about.
 
Listen to your priest and don’t torture yourself. Also, don’t be afraid to admire beauty, just don’t get lustful about it. Physically beauty is one of the many qualities men look for when they’re searching for a wife. Same for women looking for a husband.

If you just looking at her breasts though you might want to check yourself, as you seem to have done, and focus on her other qualities. Does she have a nice smile? Is she intelligent, kind, and caring?
 
@HeavenChaser , do not worry. What you did was a natural and completely psychological reaction. It is a reaction we like to think of as mere curiosity in the development of another body. You didn’t want to sin, nor did you intend to sin. You must absolutely be at peace with yourself. God knows the thoughts of your heart. God knows the secrets of your heart, because you are God’s creation. He has given you His Church, and so He knows your every action. OP, He loves you. God loves you beyond the point of any human explanation. So does His mother. Our Lady is always with you. She is always praying for you. The saints are too. These are people who have lived human lives and yet know the mercy of God.

I am around your age, and if you want, you can message me, but you need to know that you are loved. You are loved by God. Therefore, if you sin against God you will suffer a consequence but He will never stop loving you. You came to the right place. We are all together sinners, but we want to go to heaven, so we help each other, and we recognise the sins we have committed.

God Love you! God Bless you, and I am praying!
 
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