Impossible Penance

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Meggie

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I went to an amazing retreat where I was an adult group leader.
Becasue I was allergic to insence a priest offered to hear my confession the sunday morning of the retreat insted of Saturday when all the other confesions were going on.

When I confessed to him I confessed a sin that I have been struggling with for years and that has gotten really worse in the past year, whereas before it wasn’t a sin (I don’t think) I know it is now.

His penance he assigned me was to talk to a priest on my campus. I don’t trust anyone on my campus, even this priest. Its not that he’s not a good guy its just that my before college life, and especally this thing in particular, I don’t want anyone to know. Its gotten to the point where I am constantly lying to my roomate and other kids on campus about my past life, and less than three months after comming to campus I am caught in a circle of lies that its becoming harder and harder to keep up with every day, especally with the people who see me on a daily basis, especally my roomate and now her always around boyfriend.

Compared to everyone else know this priest well, I see him at Daily Mass three times a week, on Sundays, and on Mondays for NU Strings…he came to the campus ministry retreat two months ago that I was also on. I asked him what I called my “theological question” stating that a priest gave me a penance that I feel that I cannot do, I did not mention any names. He said that you never have to do penance but if I am really sorry I will.

I don’t know what to do now.
 
The penance was to speak with a priest on your campus? In your place, however hard it might seem, I think I would take the leap. Truth is a great liberator. I will offer my next rosary for you.

It might help to ask the Lord to “do this for you.” – Not to say you will not do it, but to be with you, above you, beside you, in you, as you step out onto the water and reach for his hand.
 
At your next confession, tell the priest that you were unable to complete the penance from your last confession and ask him to give you an alternate. I did this when a very liberal priest gave me a heretical book to read as penance. I bought the book but was having a really hard time stomaching the contents. It’s not as an uncommon request as you might think.
 
I don’t trust anyone on my campus, even this priest.
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Perhaps you could schedule a confession witht he priest? Surely the Seal of Confession could provide you with some assurance that he won’t tell anyone else?
 
The priests idea…the one I met at the youth rally…his idea was for me to openly tell this other priest, not just to confess it…
…it really saddens me becasue I want Jesus to know im sorry but I just can’t talk abou this stuff.
 
I was recently given a penance that I could not complete and another priest told me that it is important that a penance is something that we can do and that I should have told the priest that I just could not complete it. He than gave me a penance that I could complete.
 
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Meggie:
The priests idea…the one I met at the youth rally…his idea was for me to openly tell this other priest, not just to confess it…
…it really saddens me becasue I want Jesus to know im sorry but I just can’t talk abou this stuff.
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If I’m not mistaken, a priest cannot require a person to confess his sins to anyone outside the confessional. I’m still looking for a specific document regarding this, but consider:

The Code of Canon Law states:
Can. 983 §1. The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner and for any reason.
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I should think that to impose a penance requiring you to tell someone (even another priest) your sins against your will would be to betray the seal of confession, and thus you would not be bound to complete it. I am not a canon lawyer, but this is how I see it. Perhaps someone more knowledgable can help?
 
Dr. Colossus, I don’t believe the seal of confession comes into play here. If someone commits murder, a priest can request that the individual turn themselves in for the crime as part of their penance. As long as the priest doesn’t do or say anything, the seal of confession remains unbroken.
 
I have never had a problem with an impossible penance,but i must admit i am not keen on being told to do some act of charity,
unless it is about putting some money in St.Antony’s Poor Box.
The difficulty with acts of charity is that you might not have the opportunity to carry out the penance right away and then later you just forget.
Recently,i heard of some priests in Ireland wanting more widespread use of General Absolution.I remember bringing up this subject before and being told General Absolution was only meant for emergencies and you still had to go for individual
confession as soon as possible afterwards.
However,i still feel that it would avoid the aforementioned penance problem.I have heard a Franciscan priest refer to Confession as a humiliation.O.K., face to face would be humiliating,but what is humiliating about Confession behind a screen,except perhaps if the priest knows you so well that he will recognize your voice.In addition,can you really be sure of the
confidentiality if a priest then decides to leave and become a Protestant Minister and you have confessed to adultery face to face?
I would sincerely like a reply to the following question:- What is wrong with having General Absolution immediately before every Mass and simply emphasising to the congregation each time
that they cannot take General Absolution unless they make a firm purpose of amendment.Many years ago,i came out of a church with a teenage friend after private individual confession and winced at a remark he made:-“That’s it for another six weeks”.Going to Confession seemed to be just a routine thing for him.Who said anything about reform in his life?Wouldn’t
General Absolution,if done properly,provide an improvement on
my friend’s attitude?Incidentally,that friend moved to Chicago in
the 1960’s.He seemed to lose interest in me before he crossed
the Atlantic.I never found out if i actually did something to offend him or if it was because we had reached an age when we could legally drink alcohol and i just wasn’t a good drinking buddy.The dark side of me came to the fore when he visited Scotland in the
1980’s.I snubbed him in the street.
 
Dr. Colossus:
If I’m not mistaken, a priest cannot require a person to confess his sins to anyone outside the confessional. I’m still looking for a specific document regarding this, but consider:

The Code of Canon Law states:
I should think that to impose a penance requiring you to tell someone (even another priest) your sins against your will would be to betray the seal of confession, and thus you would not be bound to complete it. I am not a canon lawyer, but this is how I see it. Perhaps someone more knowledgable can help?
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Dr. C,

You make an excellent point. We do not know whether the OP’s problem involves sin or just something embarrassing that she needs to “fix.” It would make a pastoral difference in whether the penance assigned was ‘reasonable.’ If “confessing” but not under the seal were to involve repented/confessed/forgiven sin, then your point would be absolutely spot on. If, however, the Priest were asking the OP to confide something outside the closed forum for the sake of pastoral healing, then (as I suggested in my post above), the OP might do well to swallow her pride and do that penance as assigned.

We’re not in a position to guess at which avenue would be correct.
 
mercygate,

That’s a good point. I assumed from that the priest had asked her to talk to the priest about a certain sin, which I see now from re-reading Meggie’s original post may not have been the case.
 
Dr. Colossus:
mercygate,

That’s a good point. I assumed from that the priest had asked her to talk to the priest about a certain sin, which I see now from re-reading Meggie’s original post may not have been the case.
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Dr. Colossus,

This little exchange between you and me (have we heard from the OP lately?) is to my mind one of the really good uses of these forums. You and I have pointed out two extremely important, though quite different, points which, taken together, have more clearly delineated the issue for the original poster – and probably clarifies some issues for the rest of us as well.
 
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mercygate:
Dr. C,

You make an excellent point. We do not know whether the OP’s problem involves sin or just something embarrassing that she needs to “fix.” It would make a pastoral difference in whether the penance assigned was ‘reasonable.’ If “confessing” but not under the seal were to involve repented/confessed/forgiven sin, then your point would be absolutely spot on. If, however, the Priest were asking the OP to confide something outside the closed forum for the sake of pastoral healing, then (as I suggested in my post above), the OP might do well to swallow her pride and do that penance as assigned.

We’re not in a position to guess at which avenue would be correct.
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Its me again.
Thank you
Its about a sin that I need to fix, or rather overcome, something that has not become a habit, but can quickly become one. Its something that I should not be doing but does not affect anyone else in any way. (except Jesus, sadly)
Its not just about pride, tho, becasue this sin directly involves “bringing” things that happened to me to campus that I don’t want to.

However, on a side note, I need to go to confession again anyway…thinking about this makes me fall deeper into the sin.
 
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Meggie:
Its me again.
Thank you
Its about a sin that I need to fix, or rather overcome, something that has not become a habit, but can quickly become one. Its something that I should not be doing but does not affect anyone else in any way. (except Jesus, sadly)
Its not just about pride, tho, becasue this sin directly involves “bringing” things that happened to me to campus that I don’t want to.

However, on a side note, I need to go to confession again anyway…thinking about this makes me fall deeper into the sin.
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Are ya feelin’ the graces yet? I mean from the rosary I promised.

You’ve got great material to work with here (thanks to Colossus, me – and all the other (name removed by moderator)ut here). Go to confession and lay out the situation IN confession: starting over as it were (including the sins of your last confession as noted by John Russel. Mention your reservation about being asked to bring up a repented/confessed/forgiven sin in the public forum seemed to be a dubious idea of penance. Ask about whether spiritual direction outside confession could help. Ask whether it might be useful to handle in in an ongoing way IN confession by going to the same priest each time.

Godspeed.
 
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