I have been having an interesting dilemma lately. It turns out that Satan loves to tempt me with impure thoughts during maritals (for lack of a more pure term). I pray again them and reorder my thoughts but they occur at extremely vulnerable moments during the act. The last temptation I fought scared me so much to where I gave in briefly with the thought “Get away from me” and I literally had to recompose myself for a period. It was akin to me involuntarily pointing a gun at someone, fighting the temptation to shoot and then closing my eyes, setting off the gun just so I can drop it and run away…a knee jerk reaction to drop defenses and alter the situation where I am not tempted again. I have limited access to confession - I live in a mission church rural area with one priest for 4 missions and his availability is seriously limited. Therefore, I try to thoroughly examine my conscience for confession of serious sins when I absolutely am in mortal sin. Has anyone encountered this knee jerk reaction before? Would this be partial consent or a cop out on my part?
Not quite sure what you mean by “maritals.”
Nonetheless, thought I’d respond to the notion of impure thoughts.
Yes, I have them.
But then there’s that space, where, you can either cultivate it (the impure thought), or analyze it, perhaps try to understand where it’s coming from. Trying to put it into perspective… shore up one’s resolve to resist.
Then, I might act upon them… and then I know I have sinned.
Or not, and thank God for the grace.
But that space, is grace… like, “space grace.”
It’s not a sin to have a thought, the sin happens when you continue in the thought and enjoy the though versus stop the thought and turn to God and away from the sinful thought.
Since you mentioned “marital”, I would say, take some thought and determine what is right in “marital” and what is wrong thinking…then pray and ask God to assist you in turning away from the wrong thoughts…turning away from a thought that pops in your head turns you TOWARDS God and away from the crook in the road where there is a temptation to sin. I at times (when alone of course) will even say (or say mentally when not alone), “No, I don’t want to GO THERE,” and sometimes I make the sign of the cross. Also I would recommend blessed sacramentals to assist you. ALSO, I was talking to a priest once about my thoughts, and the thoughts that I was having as a result of some sinful things in my past. The priest suggested I pray for “forgivenss of memories.” I have prayed and asked for this, and yes it has helped very very VERY much.
And yes, you DO need to talk to the priest – even though he is busy. I know what you mean, because all the priests available in my area are sooooooooooo busy…but sometimes you just have to realize that is what they are there for and consult with one. They will understand, and they have heard it ALL before!!! And God gives them grace to not remember all the stuff we confess. I promise you if you go talk to him, you will be very glad you did.
I think everyone has impure thoughts, the key is not to get so worked up and know what the right thing would be and then act on it in the morally correct way. Everyone is tested and tempted its ok, it’s just part of our fallen nature.
Maritals is a term I use for sexual intercourse between man and wife in a Catholic marriage. I refer to thoughts of lust (usually over another person) that tempt me during the act. Usually I am able to fight them but mentally fighting that during everything is a hefty effort. In this case, it was an internal battle that I just submitted to so I could physically remove myself (to my husband’s dismay) from the situation while I prayed and reordered my thoughts. I thought if I gave in with intent to take the temptation away, it would be easier? Like I said…it was a weird battle to be fight in the midst of everything.
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