In a long distance relationship with a devout catholic

[StrykerVylon]

Okay. I have no idea where to ask this so I guess ill ask it here.

I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a devout catholic for a little over 6 months now. I love her very much but we are both worried about how her mother would react to knowing she is in a relationship with a non-catholic, and more importantly with one that lives half a continent away that she met over the internet.

Now I have been completely honest with her on who I am and she has done the same with me and I love her very much. So basically what i’m asking is how to go about telling her mother about this. Any help is appreciated.

Also as a note. I am nondenominational. I don’t have any particular church that I prefer going to. I just like going to church where I can worship God and feel his presence in the people there.

 

[Mayita30]

Probably it would be best to get to know her more personally. Online is very much different than knowing the person in real life. Once you get to know her personally and everything seems to go smoothly then it would be time to get to know her family.

 

[808Catholic]

Okay. I have no idea where to ask this so I guess ill ask it here.

I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a devout catholic for a little over 6 months now. I love her very much but we are both worried about how her mother would react to knowing she is in a relationship with a non-catholic, and more importantly with one that lives half a continent away that she met over the internet.

Now I have been completely honest with her on who I am and she has done the same with me and I love her very much. So basically what i’m asking is how to go about telling her mother about this. Any help is appreciated.

Also as a note. I am nondenominational. I don’t have any particular church that I prefer going to. I just like going to church where I can worship God and feel his presence in the people there.

If the denomination doesn’t matter to you, would you consider learning about the Catholic faith? This would give you greater insight to your GF as well as build common talking points to discuss your and her faith. Believe it or not, you have God’s presence as much as any other person. God is in each of us. If, one day, you come to feel the Holy Spirit move you to become a Catholic, that will certainly go far with building a relationship with your GFs mother and put any worries she may have at ease. Please pray on this. God bless you.

 

[JRKH]

I agree with the two posters above.

Six months is not very long and an “on line” relationship, even with video chat etc, is missing some very important dimensions. You two need to get to know one another better - in person - before going too much further.

I would also add that, as regards faith matters, there are much more important issues to address than how to tell her mother that she is involved with a non-Catholic.

How much do you know about the Catholic Church?
What things do you or don’t you agree with?
Are you willing to have your children raised Catholic?
Would you be willing for your wife and children to be going to one church while you go off to another church?
Are you willing to accept the Church’s teaching on contraception and family planning - since your devout wife most likely does?

These are just a few of the questions that are likely to come us as you and she pursue getting to know one another.

Peace
James

 

[1ke]

How old are the two of you?

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Okay. I have no idea where to ask this so I guess ill ask it here.

I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a devout catholic for a little over 6 months now. I love her very much but we are both worried about how her mother would react to knowing she is in a relationship with a non-catholic, and more importantly with one that lives half a continent away that she met over the internet.

Now I have been completely honest with her on who I am and she has done the same with me and I love her very much. So basically what i’m asking is how to go about telling her mother about this. Any help is appreciated.

Also as a note. I am nondenominational. I don’t have any particular church that I prefer going to. I just like going to church where I can worship God and feel his presence in the people there.

How old are you?
As a parent I would have the same concerns. You have several red flags with the relationships. And everyone seems to think they are the exceptions.

 

[robwar]

Okay. I have no idea where to ask this so I guess ill ask it here.

I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a devout catholic for a little over 6 months now. I love her very much but we are both worried about how her mother would react to knowing she is in a relationship with a non-catholic, and more importantly with one that lives half a continent away that she met over the internet.

Now I have been completely honest with her on who I am and she has done the same with me and I love her very much. So basically what i’m asking is how to go about telling her mother about this. Any help is appreciated.

Also as a note. I am nondenominational. I don’t have any particular church that I prefer going to. I just like going to church where I can worship God and feel his presence in the people there.

Have you met her in person or is all of this online only?

 

[His_helpmeet]

I am seeing red flags in terms of your being concerned about how her mother would react - assuming that you are both legal adults. If you two decide to further your relationship, is she prepared to put YOU first? Yes, we should honour our parents - but that doesn’t mean that we put their needs ahead of the needs of our spouses. (Obviously, you are nowhere near that point yet, but I am speaking hypothetically.)

I also suggest that you seriously examine the Catholic faith (check Catholic documents rather than Protestant ones - Protestant documents often misconstrue Catholic beliefs). You should be aware that if you two do eventually decide to marry, she has an obligation to continue to practice her faith and an obligation to raise her children in the Catholic faith.

On top of that, I suggest that you two start spending some time together. Being so far apart provides a unique set of problems to the relationship, not the least of which is finding time to spend together physically. Online relationships can and do work (my sister and I both met our husbands online; my husband lived an hour away from me at the time, while her husband lived in New Zealand and we are in Canada; they spent a few days together in Canada and she later moved down to New Zealand to be with him and they married almost 6 years ago) BUT it takes some extra commitment from the couple.

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

This is not to judge this long distance relationship or that, but having done a couple of them long ago, I came to feel very strongly that there is no substitute for time spent together in real life; online is nowhere near enough. Hence that is my counsel to any who engage in them now, to do what it takes to get together and see how they are with each other. Don’t forget that for every success we read about in various places, there are likely many more that didn’t survive the meeting phase. That’s not a bad thing, just need to know and understand what one is getting into with a long distance relationship.

 

[on_the_hill]

I guess I’m old fashioned. It’s not a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship if you’ve never spent time together in real life. It’s just pretend.

Sorry.

 

[angelic06]

I guess I’m old fashioned. It’s not a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship if you’ve never spent time together in real life. It’s just pretend.

Sorry.

That makes two of us who are old fashioned (and I am only 31.)

I have respect for new technology, but I do not believe that these new devices, such as Android, iPad, web cam, etc., can ever replace real human interaction.

 

[robwar]

op,
you have been asked some direct questions to clarify your situation. It would be helpful to answer them. Not to do so tends to make you look like a troll.