We went through something similar with my in-laws, but in reverse. They are not Catholic, and often do not understand why we do the things we do or why we believe what we believe. My wife is a convert, and the first thing my mother-in-law asked her after she told them she was becoming Catholic was if I was forcing her to become Catholic.
My wife’s last successful pregnancy was particularly difficult. We have five children thanks to the grace of God. My mother-in-law invited me over under the pretense of helping her with her computer, and proceeded to lecture me about how important her daughter is to her and my father-in-law. She tried to convince me that I should ignore the teachings of the Church and use contraception to prevent future pregnancies. She’s hinted about this before to my wife and I, but this time she went too far. I firmly informed her that my wife and not only believe what the Church teaches, but we live it everyday in our lives. I told her that our faith informs our lives, and that we’d be lost without it. She tried to bait me by asking me how I would feel if my wife died during childbirth. I told her I would feel proud that my wife was courageous enough to live and die for her faith, and that I would be comfortable in the knowledge that I had done everything in my power to ensure that she gets to Heaven. I said that every husband’s responsibility is to work towards the salvation of his wife and children, and that he would most definitely be called to account for it at his individual judgment before the throne of Christ. She finally gave up, and we’re expecting number six sometime in July.
I’m sorry your in-laws can’t seem to understand that you are the parents and not them. What they did was wrong even if it came from a desire to do good. Perhaps they feel guilty because they failed to pass on their faith to their daughter, and are trying to rectify that failure through their grandchildren. It doesn’t matter. They had no right to do as they did. Conversion occurs in the heart, not because it is forced. My wife didn’t convert because I beat her over the head with my faith every day. In fact, I purposely avoided discussing it with her. She converted, or so she tells me, for three reasons: 1) the example I set for her, 2) the movie The Passion of the Christ, and 3) our second child was born with Down Syndrome, and my faith and that of my parents was so strong it supported her and my in-laws through a very tough time. My grandfather was responsible for the conversion of three men he worked with at the steel mill. He never said a word about the Catholic faith, nor did he attempt to preach to them. He converted them by his example.
St. Francis of Assisi once said, “Preach the Gospel at all times, and, if necessary, use words.”
