In need of Catholic marrage counseling!

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DCB38

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I am in dire need of help with my marrage. I have been married for 12 years this April. I love my wife with all my heart and soul. My problem: We attend Catholic mass most Sundays, most of the time to the displeasure of my 3kids. My wife was brought up Methodist, but never attended church with her family. She has told me “she HATES the Catholic church”. The only reason she goes is because when we married she promised that the kids would be brought up Catholic. She now says that when they are grown and out of the house, she will be done with having to go to Church with me. I am deaply wounded be these remarks. I feel I cannot deal with them on my own. Whenever I bring up the matter she turns into a different person. I see the kids watching us and they are now questioning the need to go as well. I pray every day that God will make us a strong Christian family. I know that this will only happen on His time. I need spiritual guidance on this. One of the priests that visit our church says that I should wait til next year to attend a certain seminar for married couples. So many things change in one year, I cannot wait. Where do I go.
 
Will pray for you. How much interaction do you have with the parishoners? Do you do any ministries there? I ask on the possibility that the only time the missus has a connection with the parish is one hour on Sunday. I think I would get weary of that as well. We have true doctrines, proper worship, etc. but what converted me was meeting and connecting with fabulous, faithful, regular-Joe Catholics.
 
Call your priest and ask for a referral locally. Your diocesan office may also have a list of therapists. You should also speak to your priest about the spiritual discord in your household.
 
I am in dire need of help with my marrage. I have been married for 12 years this April. I love my wife with all my heart and soul. My problem: We attend Catholic mass most Sundays, most of the time to the displeasure of my 3kids. My wife was brought up Methodist, but never attended church with her family. She has told me “she HATES the Catholic church”. The only reason she goes is because when we married she promised that the kids would be brought up Catholic. She now says that when they are grown and out of the house, she will be done with having to go to Church with me. I am deaply wounded be these remarks. I feel I cannot deal with them on my own. Whenever I bring up the matter she turns into a different person. I see the kids watching us and they are now questioning the need to go as well. I pray every day that God will make us a strong Christian family. I know that this will only happen on His time. I need spiritual guidance on this. One of the priests that visit our church says that I should wait til next year to attend a certain seminar for married couples. So many things change in one year, I cannot wait. Where do I go.
We have no control over a person ,place or thing all we have conrol over is our reaction to it .god gives everyone the freedom to do want they want .Just pray .Some times we act like jesus does not know what goes on in our life.You go to mass.You pray.If you have time to worry then you have time to pray .My kids dont go to Mass.I have 4 of them.I just pray.And every once in a while i will say to them.Every body has to stand be for God and give account of they life even me . Is not it Asome that jesus will be there to speak to us be for the Father .I am sorry for your suffering .remember Jesus suffered too for us .Maybe this is our cross to bear.God Bless.The Spirtural Princile we need at this time is HUMILITY. It is not spiriural perkion but spirtual progress.
 
Since you are a man, I’m going to ask a personal question…

Do you suggest that you and your wife pray together for your family?

This might be a start.

I wish that my husband would pray with me, I’ve asked him, but to no avail.

I will pray for you.

God bless.
 
I would suggest talking to the Priest as well as studying apologetics. My wife is a cradle Catholic and I am a convert. I have discovered so much about our faith that my wife did not even know. When I get excited about something I have just “discovered”, my enthusiasm spreads and she likes learning about it.
The way I would approach your wife would be to learn as much as you can about your faith as well as the Methodists and then begin to ask her questions nicely about her faith. What is it about being Methodist does she like the most? What is her belief on certain things? Listen to her answers and then ask again very nicely, why? Where did she get that? What you are doing with this is leading her to discover that the Catholic Church has the answers. But she must discover this, you can’t just tell her and demand that she believe. The Methodists branched off from the Church of England in 1739. The Church of England branched from Catholocism in 1534. So your Church which was started by Christ Himself is 1739 years older than hers. You might ask why they branched off? What about Jesus’ teachings did they not agree with?

You and your family will be in my prayers.
 
A Marriage Encounter Weekend may do you some good. Did you ever ask her as to why she hates the Catholic Church? See if your parish has any women’s club and try and introduce her to some of the parishoners who belong, she may need a little companionship with other women. God Bless.
 
Take the children to Mass with you. If your wife wants to accompany you, bring her along. If not, don’t make an issue of it. When the children ask about the new arrangement, tell them the truth: Mommy isn’t Catholic but we are, and we go to Mass on Sunday.

Matthew
 
First, I’d tell her how much her words are hurting you. Tell her she doesn’t need to use such a harsh tone. (Can’t wait till the kids move out so I don’t have to go to church with you, etc.)

It sounds like a high school kid telling their parents “I can’t wait until I’m 18 so I don’t have to go to church anymore.”

Find out what she hates so much. Is it actual Catholic doctrine she has problems with? Or is it political differences? Or is she doubting Christianity altogether? Or is she just bored in church? Resolving this would be a good start.

Get to the root of the problem, (not in front of the kinds, btw) and talk things out. When you know WHY she is feeling so anti-Catholic, maybe you can come up with a solution together.

I don’t think a marriage seminar or retreat is a good idea at all. Pending on why she hates the Church, it could make matters worse.

I’ll pray for your marriage!
 
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