R
RellaAnn
Guest
Hello All.
I am writing in response to the person who asked about how a person could gamble and and be addicted. They (as many) can understand drug and alcohol addictions but not gambling. Well, I am here to tell you it is as real as a heart attack, morphine or alcohol. I am a middle aged professional lady of six grown children. I am educated and work full time for the state I live in. I am a gambling addict. I hate that I am, but I am. This illness has had me to a shrink to see if I have a split personality, bipolar, or another mental illness. The answer is no, I have an addiction. I have been to therapy. GA meetings, retreats, etc. and still I suffer. My faith has been tested, I have so many doubts that there is even a God that I feel defeated and stay away from mass, having not gone to confession for so many months, while my heart hurts for the loss. So, yes, this is a real bonafide addiction. I have hurt so many people, but most of all my SELF. I am suffereing today after a big binge a week ago. I think/hope after this merrygoround for over five years that I have finally surrendered…and realize I can NOT do this…but I have also said that before too. So, please, be kind to anyone you know that seems to have this affliction. It is so painful and misunderstood. We don’t like ourselves, even though we go through life looking very “normal” and keeping up the facade that we are functional and just fine. My heart hurts and to tell the truth I wouldn’t blame God for giving up on me, personally. It has been something I would never have ever thougth would happen to me. Thanks for listening…and again, please be kind. Underneath it all, whoever you are referring to is hurting a LOT, I would imagine.
Plz say a little prayer for me and all people with this horrific, secret problem.
With sincere Love and Peace, RellaAnn
I am writing in response to the person who asked about how a person could gamble and and be addicted. They (as many) can understand drug and alcohol addictions but not gambling. Well, I am here to tell you it is as real as a heart attack, morphine or alcohol. I am a middle aged professional lady of six grown children. I am educated and work full time for the state I live in. I am a gambling addict. I hate that I am, but I am. This illness has had me to a shrink to see if I have a split personality, bipolar, or another mental illness. The answer is no, I have an addiction. I have been to therapy. GA meetings, retreats, etc. and still I suffer. My faith has been tested, I have so many doubts that there is even a God that I feel defeated and stay away from mass, having not gone to confession for so many months, while my heart hurts for the loss. So, yes, this is a real bonafide addiction. I have hurt so many people, but most of all my SELF. I am suffereing today after a big binge a week ago. I think/hope after this merrygoround for over five years that I have finally surrendered…and realize I can NOT do this…but I have also said that before too. So, please, be kind to anyone you know that seems to have this affliction. It is so painful and misunderstood. We don’t like ourselves, even though we go through life looking very “normal” and keeping up the facade that we are functional and just fine. My heart hurts and to tell the truth I wouldn’t blame God for giving up on me, personally. It has been something I would never have ever thougth would happen to me. Thanks for listening…and again, please be kind. Underneath it all, whoever you are referring to is hurting a LOT, I would imagine.
Plz say a little prayer for me and all people with this horrific, secret problem.
With sincere Love and Peace, RellaAnn