Indecisiveness

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Kateri92

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I am going through a hard time with discernment right now. I would be so grateful if you could pray for me. But also, if you have any advice for me I also welcome that too.

For a while now I have started to face the fact that I think God is calling me to religious life. The problem is that I absolutely hate the idea. (Sorry for sounding so dramatic…)

I do have a strong desire to get married and have children though. And, its not even the thought of “giving this up” that makes me not want to join religious life. It is the fact that I would have to live in community and take religious vows (which sounds not so great. *).

Would God be asking me to do something that is so contrary to the desires in my heart? (Even there, that question doesn’t encompass everything I am thinking right now. I strongly desire to serve God and his church but I also desire to be a wife and mother. But I can feel God constantly calling me to religious life… and I really don’t want to say no to God… is it even God who is calling me? How do I know what I think I know?) I am very confused and in pain over the whole thing. I would be so thankful if you could help by praying for me or offering some advice. Thank you!

P.S. It doesn’t help that all my friends and family keep dropping hints for me to get a boyfreind. Its like all of a sudden, the idea of marriage is being thrown in my face (which would be cool if I wasn’t experiencing discernment issues) and it just makes it all the more painful…*
 
You need a spiritual director, girl! It’s true that God speaks to you through your desires, but at the same time, He can call to us sometimes even when we think, “No, God. I don’t want that.”

Ultimately, though, you will have very authentic and a deep sense of peace, pretty sure, when you move closer to the vocation God wants for you.

I like this saying, “My peace is in His Will.”

Speak to a vocations director in your dicoese and get a spiritual director, please. I’ll try and remember you when I’m at adoration. You should also be going to adoration. It is often there that Christ speaks the most clearly.

Be still and listen.

P.S. I love this young ladies testimony. It’s just two minutes…

youtube.com/watch?v=oKu7dYa1DoU
 
I would do it no questions asked, but I have to much in student loan debt.
 
I don’t think God asks people to do the impossible, no.
It could be that you are feeling like you need a way to express your love and devotion to God and can only think of one way.
I second the idea that you should get with a good spiritual director.
They can help you sort out the conflicting feelings that you have.
Peace.
 
Kateri92 said:
I am going through a hard time with discernment right now. I would be so grateful if you could pray for me. But also, if you have any advice for me I also welcome that too.

For a while now I have started to face the fact that I think God is calling me to religious life. The problem is that I absolutely hate the idea. (Sorry for sounding so dramatic…)

I do have a strong desire to get married and have children though. And, its not even the thought of “giving this up” that makes me not want to join religious life. It is the fact that I would have to live in community and take religious vows (which sounds not so great. *).

Would God be asking me to do something that is so contrary to the desires in my heart? (Even there, that question doesn’t encompass everything I am thinking right now. I strongly desire to serve God and his church but I also desire to be a wife and mother. But I can feel God constantly calling me to religious life… and I really don’t want to say no to God… is it even God who is calling me? How do I know what I think I know?) I am very confused and in pain over the whole thing. I would be so thankful if you could help by praying for me or offering some advice. Thank you!

P.S. It doesn’t help that all my friends and family keep dropping hints for me to get a boyfreind. Its like all of a sudden, the idea of marriage is being thrown in my face (which would be cool if I wasn’t experiencing discernment issues) and it just makes it all the more painful…*

You might want to get guidance from a spiritual director who will be able to help you in this discernment.
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In general, I think when it comes to vocations God often chooses to speak to us through our desires. It’s possible that your desire for the religious life will grow, but if it continues to repulse you, I’d say that’s a pretty good indication that you are not actually called to religious life. Try praying, “Lord, if it is your will that I become a nun, make me desire it!”

At our yearly vocation retreat they used to tell us that our vocation is at the intersection of our deepest longings and the world’s greatest needs. Yes, we need young holy men and women to join religious life. We also need holy families to raise little saints and order the secular life towards God’s plan for humanity.

As for your friends and those pushing a boyfriend on you, tell them to back off. Nicely, of course. Say you aren’t interested at the moment and will do things in your own time and then don’t let them affect your discernment process.
 
Kateri92 said:
I am going through a hard time with discernment right now. I would be so grateful if you could pray for me. But also, if you have any advice for me I also welcome that too.

For a while now I have started to face the fact that I think God is calling me to religious life. The problem is that I absolutely hate the idea. (Sorry for sounding so dramatic…)

I do have a strong desire to get married and have children though. And, its not even the thought of “giving this up” that makes me not want to join religious life. It is the fact that I would have to live in community and take religious vows (which sounds not so great. *).

Would God be asking me to do something that is so contrary to the desires in my heart? (Even there, that question doesn’t encompass everything I am thinking right now. I strongly desire to serve God and his church but I also desire to be a wife and mother. But I can feel God constantly calling me to religious life… and I really don’t want to say no to God… is it even God who is calling me? How do I know what I think I know?) I am very confused and in pain over the whole thing. I would be so thankful if you could help by praying for me or offering some advice. Thank you!

P.S. It doesn’t help that all my friends and family keep dropping hints for me to get a boyfreind. Its like all of a sudden, the idea of marriage is being thrown in my face (which would be cool if I wasn’t experiencing discernment issues) and it just makes it all the more painful…*

Active or contemplative life?

How much do you actually know about the religious life? Have you actually visited any convents?

Have you started work on the “cloister of the heart?” I’ve seen people led to live very holy lives through discernment, then God puts their spouse in their path. One reason for this is to make God their priority; discipline through a prayer routine; and bring them to the point of ‘praying always.’ Once that is achieved, they can be another Louis or Zelie Martin, “Parents more worthy of Heaven than of Earth,” as St. Therese said of her parents.

Blessings,
Cloisters
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Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your discernment.
 
Kateri92 said:
I am going through a hard time with discernment right now. I would be so grateful if you could pray for me. But also, if you have any advice for me I also welcome that too.

For a while now I have started to face the fact that I think God is calling me to religious life. The problem is that I absolutely hate the idea. (Sorry for sounding so dramatic…)

I do have a strong desire to get married and have children though. And, its not even the thought of “giving this up” that makes me not want to join religious life. It is the fact that I would have to live in community and take religious vows (which sounds not so great. *).

Would God be asking me to do something that is so contrary to the desires in my heart? (Even there, that question doesn’t encompass everything I am thinking right now. I strongly desire to serve God and his church but I also desire to be a wife and mother. But I can feel God constantly calling me to religious life… and I really don’t want to say no to God… is it even God who is calling me? How do I know what I think I know?) I am very confused and in pain over the whole thing. I would be so thankful if you could help by praying for me or offering some advice. Thank you!

P.S. It doesn’t help that all my friends and family keep dropping hints for me to get a boyfreind. Its like all of a sudden, the idea of marriage is being thrown in my face (which would be cool if I wasn’t experiencing discernment issues) and it just makes it all the more painful…*

If someone were to ask me for a list of indications that they ARE NOT being called by God to the religious life, off the top of my head I would list the following
  1. they absolutely hate the idea
  2. they have a strong desire to get married and have children
  3. they feel that living in community and taking religious vows would not be so great.
  4. the idea is so contrary to the desires of their heart
But as others have suggested, a vocations director or even someone in religious life would have a better insight into this.
Click to expand...
 
If it is indeed God’s call, you will hear it eventually. Even Jonah did and he REALLY hated the plan God had for his life.
 
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