Infertility and being Catholic

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SteelArchangel

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My wife has polycystic ovarian syndrome, PCOS, as well as a degree of endometriosis. She is 35 years old, and I am 36. We currently do not have any children.

My wife has very infrequent periods, and was given a prescription by a gynecologist to “force” a period, then a second medication to take with this to help ovulation.

She took the “force” medication, and did not have one. She ramped up and took more, and not even a forced menstruation could happen.

Everyone around us says for us to do in-vitro, or some other bizarre and unbelievably expensive fertilization programs. My wife is terrified at this prospect because she confided in me that at some point she would almost be a laboratory experiment and feels that doing to those ends just makes her feel so terrible, ashamed, and scared.

The Bible says that children are a gift from God. I see people with children that they mistreat horribly and are unwanted. Were they gifts? My wife and I are Mass-going, respectable people with solid jobs and a nice new home. Does God not want us to have a child?

Apologies if this comes off as a rant, but at this point, it’s one of those days where I look to the Heavens and try to reason that God perhaps does not want us to have a child, and for reasons I’ll never know. And it hurts.
 
I empathize with your situation. My wife had gone through a similar journey. God is not directly willing you not have children. Life is full of challenges and trials. Follow the advice and direction of you OB. It may take some time to address the PCOD. Everybody is different,but fo what it’s worth, we had one child after what seemed like a long, long time. Don’t despair and continue to pray.
 
It is quite a challenge and the biggest trial I’ve ever faced. The despair is hard to deal with.
 
I am sure of that. If you haven’t , follow the links that @TheLittleLady provided, if you haven’t. There are more and more things that are being applied.
 
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My husband and I adopted our one and only child 24 years ago. I, too, felt your rage and confusion to see couples mistreat or not appreciate the children they seemed to have conceived so easily (even in our own families.) Our son is the greatest blessing in our life. Having only one child helped us to learn how to parent, and gave us an opportunity to help out our nieces and nephews and other children who needed our help. Don’t discount adoption as a “second-best” option. It is truly a blessing.
 
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