Infertility Treatments...how to answer a Non-Catholic...?

[rubyjen]

One of my best friends just went through IVF–and is now pregnant with their first. I’m overjoyed for her; but when she was going through the process and asking me questions, I felt like I was not very good at expressing the Catholic view clearly. (She is a Catholic who has been away from the Church for a VERY long time…) She asked me afterwards if my only option to have children were IVF–what would I do; and I said, “I would have to consider adoption.”

Now, my sister (not a Catholic…yet!) is considering IVF as well; at her doctor’s suggestion. She has had 1 miscarriage and 2 ectopic pregnancies (losing 1 tube in the process) in the last year. She is scared and devastated–and wants children. She has been asking questions about my faith for a few months (I’m an adult convert)–and has now asked me about my views and that of my faith on IVF–I have shared some with her, and I am an NFP teacher; and feel I should be better equipped to answer her–but I’m still learning too.

Can anyone recommend some reading material on the subject that I can refer her to, as well as share responses you might give, or have given to others?

In Him,
Jen

 

[Didi]

First of all, I sympathize with anyone who longs to be a parent and is having infertility problems. My husband and I went through infertility and miscarriages for four years.

The moral problem with IVF, as I see it, is twofold.

First of all, you are conceiving outside the natural procreative act of marriage, which is meant to be both procreative and unitive (you are bypassing the unitive part by having the process of science involved).

Secondly, during the process of IVF, several eggs are united with sperm in the petri dish. The doctors then implant more than the desired number into the woman’s uterus, thinking that some will not “take.” The little humans left in the petri dish are either destroyed or frozen. Of those little humans that do “take” in the woman’s uterus, often there are multiple embryos. Then the doctor wants to select those that are weakest and kill them so the stronger ones have a better chance of survival.

When my husband and I came to the point where doctors were suggesting IVF, we did indeed think about it. The desire to have children is very strong. I thank Our Lord that we did not choose that avenue, as I don’t know how I could have lived with the little babies that were never even in the safety of the womb, let alone those they may have chosen to destroy inside the womb.

We came to the point where our desire to be parents was stronger than my desire to be pregnant, and chose adoption. We have two beautiful children who were adopted as infants, and I know with all my heart that they were always intended to be a part of our family – God knew this from the beginning of time!

I think the issue of IVF is very similar to that of stem cell research in that you are **saying that one life is more important than another. ** The person who is paralyzed, for example, is really thinking that their life is more important than the aborted baby, or the created embryo in the petri dish, so it’s perfectly fine to “use” them. Same with IVF, the desire to be pregnant is more important than those lives that will be destroyed in the process. While people may not realize that is what they are thinking or believing, their actions say differently.

Hope this helps. I will pray for your friends. God’s way is always best. May we all learn to trust Him more!

 

[kirabira]

I just had a non-catholic friend ask me about this.

I emphasized that the Church teaches that the child has a right to a mother and father and that the child has a right to be the fruit of marital love. This alters the perspective from looking at what the parents ‘limits’ in attempting to conceive to looking out for the good of the child. We talked about how different IVF would be in terms of thinking of your conception. My parents had normal marital love, but an IVF would have to trace back the act of sperm donation to …? possibly a cold room with some pornographic magazines? Theres no marital act to serve as the foundation…
I think that thinking about IVF and the actual implications for how IVF happens can easily lead a person to seeing how unnatural this is and how it violates natural law…

 

[kirabira]

ahh and I also had wanted to mention that there are new studies I’ve seen talking about the dangers of IVF for the infants involved–there seem to be indications that these children arent going to be the picture of health–

so from that level you are not setting the child up for the best possible outcome. It doesnt seem to be a level playing field between children of IVF and children conceived naturally.

-k

 

[Jennifer123]

Didi:

The moral problem with IVF, as I see it, is twofold.

First of all, you are conceiving outside the natural procreative act of marriage, which is meant to be both procreative and unitive (you are bypassing the unitive part by having the process of science involved).

Secondly, during the process of IVF, several eggs are united with sperm in the petri dish. The doctors then implant more than the desired number into the woman’s uterus, thinking that some will not “take.” The little humans left in the petri dish are either destroyed or frozen. Of those little humans that do “take” in the woman’s uterus, often there are multiple embryos. Then the doctor wants to select those that are weakest and kill them so the stronger ones have a better chance of survival.

God’s way is always best. May we all learn to trust Him more!

Perfect! Most people that I’ve spoken to about this issue, given these reasons, seem to not have thought of it like this before. Non-Catholic Christians especially seem to be open to this message.

 

[rubyjen]

Thank you all for your responses…My sister is very pro-life; and has already said that if she went through this process, she would not allow them to ‘create’ more babies (she does believe life begins at conception) than she would have implanted–she would not allow destroying or freezing…and she would carry to term all implanted…but that still leaves me with the whole unnatural thing to explain–which I have done to the best of my ability: That GOD is to be involved in the procreative act (and I got the argument from her and my best friend that God created the technology for this to be possible–and I said, He also allowed the creation of Nuclear Weapons…); and that the Marriage Act is a reaffirmation of one’s marriage vows; and within that the procreative process is to occur–but I am still looking for reading material to refer her to…
In Him,
Jen