Infertility

[KendraDZ1902]

A couple of months ago I found out I am infertile. Sometimes I am saddened by this. When I was told this I felt as though that I’m broken. I was a bit angry. I can see this as a normal emotion to such news. BUT there are sometimes that I feel relief. Like, I’m sometimes happy that I can’t reproduce. Especially when I see children who are rude or bratty. Is this wrong? Is it sinful that sometimes I’m happy/fine not being able to have children? Would it be better if I were grief stricken about it all the time?

 

[shelby_sun]

I don’t think anyone should tell you how you should feel. You feel the way you do because you are human. You are not unable to raise a child, you are unable produce a child of your own. In time you may find out you want to adopt or you may never want to raise a child. Just take it one day at a time and let yourself feel the feeling you have.

 

[EasterJoy]

If Our Lord told his disciples, “'Pray that you are not put to the test,” then of course is OK to be thankful that one was on put to some particular trial. You can grieve the rewards you miss out on and be thankful for the trials you won’t have to face. Both are OK.

 

[Xantippe]

I don’t think anyone should tell you how you should feel. You feel the way you do because you are human. You are not unable to raise a child, you are unable produce a child of your own. In time you may find out you want to adopt or you may never want to raise a child. Just take it one day at a time and let yourself feel the feeling you have.

Yes.

It’s not wrong to accept and be happy with one’s lot in life.

Best wishes!

 

[_Jenn]

A couple of months ago I found out I am infertile. Sometimes I am saddened by this. When I was told this I felt as though that I’m broken. I was a bit angry. I can see this as a normal emotion to such news. BUT there are sometimes that I feel relief. Like, I’m sometimes happy that I can’t reproduce. Especially when I see children who are rude or bratty. Is this wrong? Is it sinful that sometimes I’m happy/fine not being able to have children? Would it be better if I were grief stricken about it all the time?

Your feelings are all quite normal. I do have a child, but for unexplained reasons, cannot have another. I have felt, in the past 10 years, the majority of what you posted. I mostly have made peace with it, but still have my angry/sad/hopeful/etc moods. Prayers for you…

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Thanks, y’all! It definitely makes me feel better that my feelings are normal.

 

[PrincessRenae]

No, I don’t think anyone MUST mourn something that they can’t change.

I feel bad all the time because I think I would be fine being infertile. I know I have a perfectly healthy reproductive system, but I almost wish I could give it to someone else who desperately wants children since I’d really rather not be given them if I had the choice.

 

[Cricket2]

It would not be better to be grief stricken all the time.

However, you do need to keep in mind that there are lots of children who need to be adopted and loved. That could be your calling. As far as kids being bratty…that is the parent’s fault.

Figure out how to be a good “disciplinarian”, how to positively encourage children to grow and succeed and you won’t have a brat for a child. Remember that NO is a legitimate “one word sentence” and it would do a lot of kids good if they heard that word more and had it enforced. One need not beat a kid to death to discipline them, but things like standing in the corner, having a show turned off, computer time taken away and even (yes) a little slap on the hand when we are 2 years old…goes miles towards having a child that is well behaved.

If you don’t want bratty kids, adopt a couple and raise them to be polite, generous, thankful and kind.

 

[oldgraymare2]

Hi Kendra,

I think that it’s normal to have mixed emotions about how you’re feeling.

I am sure that you know that there are other ways of being around children, if you decide at some point in time that you want to do that. That is what I did.

We don’t have any children, either, due to health issues on my end. We were sad about it, too.

I personally found different ways to be around children. I volunteered at church and used to work with children in my last parish’s youth choir. I had much fun doing that.

 

[anibal]

Thanks, y’all! It definitely makes me feel better that my feelings are normal.

Don’t give up hope on having children. You’re in your 20s, so things can change for better. My guess is that you’ve looked into fertility treatments. There’s another choice though it is opposite to Catholicism and that is to In Vitro Fertilization. I support I.V.F. Of course I’m not Catholic. But there are Protestant Christians who agree with me in supporting I.V.F.

 

[Paleocon]

Don’t give up hope on having children. You’re in your 20s, so things can change for better. My guess is that you’ve looked into fertility treatments. There’s another choice though it is opposite to Catholicism and that is to In Vitro Fertilization. I support I.V.F. Of course I’m not Catholic. But there are Protestant Christians who agree with me in supporting I.V.F.

Please don’t advocate homicidal activities on here.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Don’t give up hope on having children. You’re in your 20s, so things can change for better. My guess is that you’ve looked into fertility treatments. There’s another choice though it is opposite to Catholicism and that is to In Vitro Fertilization. I support I.V.F. Of course I’m not Catholic. But there are Protestant Christians who agree with me in supporting I.V.F.

That is definitely not an option. You should research why the church opposes it.

 

[JSSD]

Thanks, y’all! It definitely makes me feel better that my feelings are normal.

I think it is normal (and healthy) to look on the bright side of things.
I suspect my wife and I are in the same boat and we’ve more or less made our peace with it.