I want to share this with all of you…
A couple of months ago I was invited to a bible study (what I thought was a bible study). I usually start every bible study (2 each yr) but often find myself unable to commit to all of the meetings, and seldom find time to read the book at home (or I fall asleep while doing so). So this time I told the director of the study that I wasn’t going to bother purchasing a book, and I would just attend a couple of the meetings. The first meeting was Friday, and will all that’s been going on, I almost didn’t go, but then I thought it would be a really nice little break from everything, so I went. Not knowing what the study was about, I sat down and saw that others had the book “33 Days to Morning Glory” with a picture of Mary on the front. Now, Mary has always been a huge obstacle to me since I developed a somewhat Fundamentalist p.o.v. over the past several years (I have spent a great deal of the past 7 yrs with a very conservative, nearly Amish congregation of Mennonites…). As it turns out, the book is a 33-day “retreat” drawn from the writings of St Louis de Montford (not sure of spelling) consecration to Jesus through Mary. It’s not like I can just go to a meeting here and there or not get a book since it is a spiritual exercise. So with this in mind, I had it in my heart to quietly get up and leave, but then I decided I would just stay and listen to what he had to say on it. I mean, I know I have been led, repeatedly, back to my Catholic roots and back to Mass - several times over the past 7 years of confusion, and for the past year I have been mostly faithful, exclusively, to the Sacraments, although I do visit the Mennonites occasionally. So, considering my commitment the past year, and all the little and big ways the Lord has led me to the Catholic Church, I decided to give it a listen. I thought “Who knows, maybe I need this. Maybe God wants me to be here.” Not a second later did the director say “you are here b/c Jesus and Mary want you to be here”. I giggled to myself… The woman next to me wasn’t sure if she wanted to do this “retreat” either, but the day of our meeting she happened to find a copy of the book at a yard sale and so she last-minute decided to come too, and she sat there giggling quietly to as he said this… At the end of our meeting, one of the couples warned about the spiritual attacks they experienced and that they know others have experienced when undertaking the 33 day preparation, and then my mind turned to all the things our family have been through the past month or so. So now I’m thinking that all these negative events are a good sign actually, b/c otherwise I might be so content with things the way they are without any devotion to Mary that I don’t want to rock the boat so to speak by undertaking something this serious. The few times I had gone back to Mass the past several years were accompanied by some nasty spiritual attacks on our entire family - very nasty - to the point of begging the priest to help us. So it does not surprise me one bit that there is anger over me considering a devotion to Mary, which my 16yr old daughter is doing with me. We started the readings and prayers yesterday. I found comfort in learning that St Louis predicted that the devil would be so upset about his teachings that he would seek to destroy it or delay its publication, and he was encouraged in knowing this b/c it proved the efficacy of the practice. As it turned out, his writings were lost for at least a century after he died. So likewise I am glad to know that I have this possible sign that it is important that I get through these 33 days until the consecration on Aug 15. At the end of the meeting I realized I would need to acquire a book, but someone gave me one since his wife already had one too.
So I feel a little better about all of this. I know that God turns all things for the good of those that love Him. And trusting that I have been led to the Catholic Church, I am not afraid to become “more Catholic” by acknowledging my spiritual Mother, Mary.
Bless you~
