Instructions to fallen away catholics (Marriage?)

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matthew1624

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Here’s the scenario…

Two fallen away catholics. Both are now looking at coming back to the church and enrolled in RCIA. Their kids are attending classes to be received in the church as well. Hooray! BTW, I believe the Passion of the Christ had an influence on their decision. Now, getting to the point. The male in this scenario had been married in the church before and is divorced. The couples current marriage was a civil marriage. I’ve instructed them to begin the annulment process, which they have. I basically told them that in the eyes of the church he is still married to his first wife and committing adultery. Asked why that was the case I pointed them to the passage in the gospels that states, “what God has joined, let no man separate”. Asked why they need to get an annulment I responded with the passage about not inheriting heaven if you they are committing adultery. I did this with as much charity as possible. It’s not easy telling someone they are commiting a mortal sin. As a result, the wife is very understanding and has decided to abstain from any intimate relations with her husband until their annulment is final. Well, the husband is not too happy with this now and is giving her a hard time about it. I’m not feeling to good about this. Did I do the right thing? Can you offer any advice?

Sorry if the thread is confusing.

God bless…
 
I think you did the right thing. We often feel that we are “judging” others when we give them advice when, in fact, all you’re doing in this case is stating Church teaching. And sometimes, the truth is very difficult to swallow. (As an example, if your son or daughter was going to invest money in a certain business and you KNEW that the business was in financial trouble, you’d probably tell him/her not to invest that money. You’re not judging just offering advice.)
Suggest that they talk to a parish priest regarding what they are facing and also about getting their marriage blessed by the Church should the annulment process be settled in their favor (a big question that needs to be addressed).
I would also suggest that they get to the Sacrament of Reconcilaition.
Nobody ever said being Catholic is easy and this type of situation only confirms that statement. This is a difficult situation but one that has occurred many times. It’s difficult but certainly not impossible.
As always keep them in your prayers. The Holy Spirit has obviously touched this couple and we need to offer them up.
 
The thread isn’t confusing. I agree with you whole heartedly and think the husband is being selfish and unloving (my husband agreed to a chaste engagement, all the while living together, and I’ll admire him to the end of time) but it’s just unfortunate that you now KNOW about all this. Does the husband blame you, too? Like the previous poster said, no one said it was easy being Catholic…he’ll get over it (hopfully!) My SiL’s annulment took all of 2 or 3 weeks before hers and my brother’s convalidation. I wouldn’t bring it up anymore, though…he’s apt to be in a bad mood. 😉
 
Thanks for your replies so far. I’m definitely keeping them in my prayers. As far as the husband, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s mad at me as well.

With God all things are possible.

God Bless…
 
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