H
HomeInNE
Guest
Well, hello all - I’m new here and wasn’t sure where this thread would belong, so admins: please feel free to move it. 
I guess my brief background is that I was raised Protestant (Methodist) and, like many, began drifting away from faith in my college years and after. Somewhere along the line, I began associating with atheists and people I now realize are anti-Christian (that’s a whole other topic, probably!). I had no faith, honestly. I not only didn’t but couldn’t believe much of what I’d been taught about God growing up, and I found myself envying people who were still in faith, but just didn’t think I could go back there. Then, just over three years ago, I lost my mother. And I was no longer apathetic toward God - I was MAD. And I stayed mad for a good, long time. In the wake of her death and dealing with (or not dealing with) my grief, I got engaged to my then-boyfriend, an atheist, and went about planning our wedding. What a lovely distraction from grief! I’ll speak no ill of him as I wish him none and he truly is a good person, I’ll only say that we didn’t make it to our first anniversary before I realized how wrong it all was and, after it was clear that counseling was only making things worse, I filed for divorce.
Providence? It exists. Literally four days after I filed for divorce, I got a call that, as it turns out, has changed my life drastically. That was about 7 months ago. The call was from a man I’d only known when he was a boy, my first love, who I’d only spoken to once in 19 years. He was coming to town to visit his folks and wondered if I’d like to catch up. It turns out, he had just gone through a divorce, too.
I hadn’t intended to start dating for a very, very long time, and I would have turned down anyone but him. I mean, what do you do when an opportunity like that knocks after 19 years? We met up, no intentions, no pressure. But found that our old connection was still very strong, and as they say, the rest is history. We’ve been seeing each other as much as possible (he lives over 300 miles away) since.
That was supposed to be brief, huh? I guess it all leads up to where I am now. See, my BF grew up Catholic and is very open about his belief in God and doing one’s best to live life walking with Him. At first, I found his opinions hokey. But then I remembered the girl I was when we knew each other before - that girl had faith. Couldn’t I be that girl again?
I’m pleased to report, that I can. Even more so than before. I started hesitantly attending church services here and there, trying to find the right church home for me. I landed on a Presbyterian church not far from home, and I have been very content there. But through conversations with my BF, it seemed more and more that God was pounding me over the head: look at Catholicism, goof! Me being my stubborn self, I refused for a long time, based on my ideas (misconceptions) about Catholicism. But I finally began to study more, ask questions of current and former Catholics that I know, and seek answers for myself. And the more I learned, the more I found I WANTED to learn.
I had a very good visit with a (current) Catholic friend last week during which she told me that I could - much to my surprise - genuflect, cross myself, and do pretty much everything actual Catholics do (except, of course, receive the Eucharist!) without offending anyone. So I researched (yes, I went on Youtube) the proper way to do all those things, and I felt ready. Yesterday, I attended mass of my own volition, not because I was going with my BF/his family, but because I wanted to go - I wanted to participate more fully and see how it felt, so I met my friend after work at a cathedral that had a late enough mass to fit into both our schedules. I was nervous but right off, I knew something very special was happening. When I touched the holy water to my forehead as we went in, I felt a cool, tingly, refreshing sensation - and it stayed with me throughout the mass and afterward. It was a remarkable experience! My friend was kind enough to guide me through how to follow along in the missalette, and after having been through a few masses already, I was reasonably able to participate. I even went to the communion rail (signifying to the priest that I was not receiving). And you know? It was such a wonderful experience that I’m already figuring out when I can go again - hopefully in the next couple of days.
When I consider that 7 months ago, I was married (at least, still legally) to an atheist, completely faithless, depressed, and feeling absolutely rudderless, and look at where I stand today, I am truly moved and humbled by how God works in our lives. I am so grateful each day that He didn’t give up on me (He never does!) the way I did on Him, that He’s given me the grace and courage to embark on this journey, and I’m thrilled for what my future holds now.
I guess my brief background is that I was raised Protestant (Methodist) and, like many, began drifting away from faith in my college years and after. Somewhere along the line, I began associating with atheists and people I now realize are anti-Christian (that’s a whole other topic, probably!). I had no faith, honestly. I not only didn’t but couldn’t believe much of what I’d been taught about God growing up, and I found myself envying people who were still in faith, but just didn’t think I could go back there. Then, just over three years ago, I lost my mother. And I was no longer apathetic toward God - I was MAD. And I stayed mad for a good, long time. In the wake of her death and dealing with (or not dealing with) my grief, I got engaged to my then-boyfriend, an atheist, and went about planning our wedding. What a lovely distraction from grief! I’ll speak no ill of him as I wish him none and he truly is a good person, I’ll only say that we didn’t make it to our first anniversary before I realized how wrong it all was and, after it was clear that counseling was only making things worse, I filed for divorce.
Providence? It exists. Literally four days after I filed for divorce, I got a call that, as it turns out, has changed my life drastically. That was about 7 months ago. The call was from a man I’d only known when he was a boy, my first love, who I’d only spoken to once in 19 years. He was coming to town to visit his folks and wondered if I’d like to catch up. It turns out, he had just gone through a divorce, too.
I hadn’t intended to start dating for a very, very long time, and I would have turned down anyone but him. I mean, what do you do when an opportunity like that knocks after 19 years? We met up, no intentions, no pressure. But found that our old connection was still very strong, and as they say, the rest is history. We’ve been seeing each other as much as possible (he lives over 300 miles away) since.
That was supposed to be brief, huh? I guess it all leads up to where I am now. See, my BF grew up Catholic and is very open about his belief in God and doing one’s best to live life walking with Him. At first, I found his opinions hokey. But then I remembered the girl I was when we knew each other before - that girl had faith. Couldn’t I be that girl again?
I’m pleased to report, that I can.
Even more so than before. I started hesitantly attending church services here and there, trying to find the right church home for me. I landed on a Presbyterian church not far from home, and I have been very content there. But through conversations with my BF, it seemed more and more that God was pounding me over the head: look at Catholicism, goof! Me being my stubborn self, I refused for a long time, based on my ideas (misconceptions) about Catholicism. But I finally began to study more, ask questions of current and former Catholics that I know, and seek answers for myself. And the more I learned, the more I found I WANTED to learn.I had a very good visit with a (current) Catholic friend last week during which she told me that I could - much to my surprise - genuflect, cross myself, and do pretty much everything actual Catholics do (except, of course, receive the Eucharist!) without offending anyone. So I researched (yes, I went on Youtube) the proper way to do all those things, and I felt ready. Yesterday, I attended mass of my own volition, not because I was going with my BF/his family, but because I wanted to go - I wanted to participate more fully and see how it felt, so I met my friend after work at a cathedral that had a late enough mass to fit into both our schedules. I was nervous but right off, I knew something very special was happening. When I touched the holy water to my forehead as we went in, I felt a cool, tingly, refreshing sensation - and it stayed with me throughout the mass and afterward. It was a remarkable experience! My friend was kind enough to guide me through how to follow along in the missalette, and after having been through a few masses already, I was reasonably able to participate. I even went to the communion rail (signifying to the priest that I was not receiving). And you know? It was such a wonderful experience that I’m already figuring out when I can go again - hopefully in the next couple of days.
When I consider that 7 months ago, I was married (at least, still legally) to an atheist, completely faithless, depressed, and feeling absolutely rudderless, and look at where I stand today, I am truly moved and humbled by how God works in our lives. I am so grateful each day that He didn’t give up on me (He never does!) the way I did on Him, that He’s given me the grace and courage to embark on this journey, and I’m thrilled for what my future holds now.
