Invalid Confessions?

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polishdude

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Ok well it all started when I was around 4th grade I got my first communion then and also first confession but also my first computer with internet.

Now i looked up “bad” things online and whenever I went to confession I never said it cause I was embarrassed. Now when I go I do say it and I also do say that I masturbated but I am still too embarrassed to say that I thought lustful thoughts or that I downloaded illegal music or that I went to communion even when I knew I couldnt.

SO my question is were all my confessions invalid? Should I state on my next confession that my previous one wasn’t fully truthful and then say ALL of the sins I can remember?

Because the first time I confessed about some embarrassing stuff I was proud of my self and happ that I didn’t carry this burden anymore. But now I realized that all my conffessions up to this point (I’m 15) are invalid and now I feel like I’ the worst catholic that I know. I feel like all my sins just pilled up on me.

Any advice?
 
You’re not the worst Catholic by any means. Too many people do the same for that to be the case. Not even your unconfessed sins would be the worst that any priest would’ve heard - they’d all be among the most commonly confessed, in fact. Point is - did you know it was a mortal sin to conceal these things at the time?

If that is the case, then what you need to do is tell the priest that previous confessions of yours have been invalid because you’ve left out certain sins out of embarrassment. Tell him roughly when the first time was that you did so.

Then list all the mortal sins that you’ve done since that time that you can remember. Remember that a sin is mortal only when it involves grave matter. Downloading might not be a mortal sin, depends on the circumstances, so it may be one that you need not confess.
 
can i just tell the priest that I didn’t tell all my sins in my previous confession? and then lst all of them this time?
 
polishdude said:
can i just tell the priest that I didn’t tell all my sins in my previous confession? and then lst all of them this time?
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If it’s more than one confession, no. EVERY confession in which you deliberately, and whilst knowing that it was a sin, withheld sins, is invalid and the mortal sins of all those invalid confessions need to be repeated as far as you can remember them.

You didn’t answer my question though - did you know, at those previous confessions, while you were withholding the sins, that what you were doing was a sin?
 
well yeah i guess so. i mean i read about it here a while back and yeah
 
polishdude:

First off the embarrassment comes with the confessing, and it’s good that you don’t let it deter you from your goal of confessing. (satan loves that). Humility won’t hurt you and it will help prevent further sin.

Just restate your sins but tell the priest which ones you are retelling and which are new. You will find that he will work with you and give advice. The good feeling is the effect of Jesus washing your soul clean again.

Now that I’ve got a spread of grey hair, my memory isn’t the way it used to be, so my pre examination goes well but then I’d forget some. I now just before confessing jot down on a piece of scrap paper in cryptic form my sins, sort of like my own legible shorthand. The priests don’t mind it. Only thing is of course to never forget to tear it up and throw it away. 😊

I think your doing fine. 👍

AndyF
 
polishdude said:
well yeah i guess so. i mean i read about it here a while back and yeah
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Then you know what needs doing - you need to fess up and reconfess every mortal sin you can remember since that time that you read about it on here.

Just think of all those people who go a VERY long time in betweeen confessions. Personally I went 12 years - that first confession afterwards was interesting. There are others on here who’ve been longer.

Remember your priest has been a teenager himself, I’m sure he understands what it means to be embarrassed and not want to talk about things, even in confession.
 
I would simply say that some previously unmentioned sins have been weighing on your conscience and follow the priest’s lead.
 
polishdude… God loves you and your contrite heart. You are on the right track, friend.

I would suggest speaking with your confessor outside the Confessional, and ask him if you can make a General Confession (going back into any and all sins you can think of)

stay the course…receive Communion often… and do not be afraid!

k~
 
Yeah I’ve had the almost exact same experiences as you. Did some very embarassing things that I was either just too ashamed of to mention to the preist explicitly or just plain to dumb and selfish to feel the need to go to confession - especially when it was a priest that I was close to or worked with. Finally the weight of all of my sins weighing down on me caused me to go to a priest friend and I tried to come out with all of my sins. I asked him if I needed to tell him all the gory details or if I could just confess the general type of sin and he told me I didn’t have to tell him everything, just the kind of sin and how often. And I included all the time I didn’t confess these sins and still recieved communion. Let me tell you, I felt great immediately after that confession.

BUT I still have a problem and maybe you Catholic Answers Forum members can help me out a little. Starting about a day or so after that one confession (and really ever since) I’ve struggled a little… I still kinda wonder if I’m forgiven of all that bad stuff I did- in my heart, I would have confessed absolutely everything, but I was really hoping the priest wouldn’t make me. Since he was a priest friend and I knew he was what I would call an “easy” confessor, I specifically chose him to really make my “big” confession to- as a I said, hoping that he wouldn’t make me go into all the details and that if he did, he would be more understanding. I still go back and forth about it. Was I being “manipulative” and dishonest, thus not really making a full confession, or was it still valid? I’ve asked a few different priests about it and many have said if the priest originally told me no, then I’m good. One or two have kinda suggested other wise - so I struggle too… am I feeling guilty legitimately and should just go and confess all the gory details, or do I need to trust in the power of the mercy of God and the absolution?
 
I have a hard time understanding how you can come onto a public forum and list all of your sins and feel uncomfortable confessing to your priest. I promise you there is no need to be embarrassed.
 
drumminfool…

we tend to want to go to an “easy” confessor… or, to bring the really embarassing things to one we do not know for the same reason Adam and Eve hid from God in the garden: Shame (Pride)…

it’s okay…we’ve all been there. But i promise you, there is probably nothing you could confess that wold shock or surprise your confessor. In fact, many priests will tell you that rather than feeling shock or outrage, they feel humbled that you have brought your pain, misery and sorrow to Christ through him.

feeling ashamed and embarrassed i normal… it’s also a good thing. We are not only prone to sin, we are also likely to continue in the same sins. If for example, viewing pornography and masturbation are problems for a person, they will continue to be drawn toward that sort of sin… And falling in that sin time and time again can lead that person to despair and/or blaiming God for not “healing” them. The devil knows this and makes good use of it…

However, it is exactly that HUMILITY required to have to keep going back to seek God’s pardon that can finally break the cycle of addictive behavior. At first, it may well be the fact that the person is tired/embarrassed to keep confessing the same sin… but over time, and with prayer, frequent reception of the Eucharist, adoration and other devotions, the person may truly seek to let go of the behavior because he begins to TRULY desire not to offend God anymore…

we must remember that Christ suffered so in the flesh because of our sins of the flesh. Unite your suffering with the cross, and don’t give up! You will probably find your confessor to be a trusted friend, ally, advocate and guide along the way

in Christ & Mary

k~
 
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