I know the Church is against this but I need to know what my attitude should be in this situation.
My son had testicular cancer and was engaged to be married. Before they were married, he had both testicles removed after freezing some of his sperm. I advised him that this is a sin and if he wanted children there are many children waiting to be adopted. He and his wife opted for invitro fertilization instead. She became pregnant with twins but lost them at 7 weeks. They tried again and now she is 14 weeks pregnant. I will love my grandchildren no matter how they were conceived but I don’t want my son to think I approve of what he did. I think he still has some frozen embyos. Is it more sinful to let them die or to try to bring them to term even if it is not in the way that is blessed by God.
**In vitro fertilization is not permitted in the Catholic faith for any reason; instead adoption is encouraged and there are morally acceptable options for infertile couples. Currently, according to a July 4th, 2005 issue of Newsweek, IVF costs $9,000 and 25% of all cycles now involve a live birth. It should also be noted that there is a serious though rare side effect, Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS), that has killed patients using IVF.
And, 6 million embryos, human beings like us, have died because of this procedure. That is roughly 80-90% of all embryos created in IVF. In the US, 170,000 embryos die each year.
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
2377 Techniques involving only the married couple (homologous artificial insemination and fertilization) are perhaps less reprehensible, yet remain morally unacceptable. They dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. The act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that “entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person. Such a relationship of domination is in itself contrary to the dignity and equality that must be common to parents and children.” “Under the moral aspect procreation is deprived of its proper perfection when it is not willed as the fruit of the conjugal act, that is to say, of the specific act of the spouses’ union . . . . Only respect for the link between the meanings of the conjugal act and respect for the unity of the human being make possible procreation in conformity with the dignity of the person.”
2378 A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The “supreme gift of marriage” is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged “right to a child” would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right “to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents,” and “the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception.”
2379 The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord’s Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others.
Embryos need not be destroyed. There are several organizations that place the couple in contact with others who are willing to ‘adopt’ embryos who are fertilized and frozen. You can pass that information on to your son and daughter-in-law.**
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