Irate at God.

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That’s possible, but I will tell you that you’re not the only one on this forum who has suffered. I’ve seen my share, and I have talked to some who have actually lived through worse than me, and I’ve seen a fair amount.

I’ve had severe rheumatoid arthritis from age 10 y.o., have gotten a lot of rejection by all kinds of people, even my own teachers, family. I withdrew into shyness.

I have had enough surgeries I have lost count! They want to do 2 more to fuse my ankles.
Well, right now, one’s bone on bone! I am not kidding. They said if it continued, I might need a graft! I’d need 3 large and long screws…like nails…each side.

I’ve had 3 surgeries in the 3rd world. Do you have any idea what medical care is like here? Once, we had a 7.6 earthquake. I had chest pains from it for a month! Anyway, I drank bad water, got VERY sick with a parasite and bacteria. I mean I felt like I’d have to come up to die! I went to the hospital, and they said they would admit me. I had insurance, but there were no beds! I was sent home, by myself!

Another time, I once saw a friend stitched up here…NO anesthesia! I almost fainted! I had to leave the room! I couldn’t stand it. Also, when I saw him to begin with, I almost fainted, again, looking at him since he had been in an accident!

I’ve been more or less by myself recovering from surgeries numerous times.

I once had my thyroid removed for goiter. During that, they found out I had cancer, Hashimoto’s, AND goiter!

I have 8 artificial joints in my hands. My neck has been fused, one part of my thumb is fused. The other thumb is subluxed (partially dislocated).

Oh, and my ankles. They want to operate on me here. They said it’d probably take them 2-3 days in the hospital just to try to control the pain! I have no family here, no real friends to speak of.

I talk to myself and my cat.

Years ago, I once went without food for about 2 days. I almost had my car repossessed the year I was disabled. I had around that time 4 surgeries in 10 months, and they had cancelled my health insurance while I was in the hospital.

I got home, heard, “This is the 4th and final call. We’ve cancelled your insurance”! I literally almost fell to the floor!

Once, here in Mexico, I was almost kidnapped. I escaped. Another time, I was almost raped. I, likewise, escaped. I have been robbed different times, once, a few months, I was a victim of fraud, lost basically everything, had to ask my family for help.

I traveled, and once in Ecuador, within one hour, I was near gunfire. Another time I visited, they had a transportation strike, and I had to walk in the high Andes mountains to class. They had shut down cabs, buses, everything!

I’ve starved, frozen. I once almost lost my mind, started injuring myself, wanted to commit suicide, been poor to where I was in debt, couldn’t afford food or a stamp, had to borrow bus fare!

Once, I went to Mexico while I was divorcing, and the people I was with, taking me down, were trying to force me to be…sort of like a “mule”. They tried to force me to put their car in my name. I refused. They tried to force me to try to take a lot of cash across. I refused. They got so mad, the husband cursed at me. The wife left me…at the border, took my stuff. All I had was my purse!

Another time, I got accused by the Mexican police of trying to cross to the US when I was coming from the US! The police said they didn’t believe me! Police here are corrupt, scarier, because they come at you with rifles, etc.

I have gotten better defending myself against them. Yes, I have had to defend myself against the police!

I’ve been married, twice, divorced twice. In yet another relationship, I’ve been pushed, slapped, and a lot of other things.

I don’t know. My life is hard in some ways, but it’s different. I’m not currently struggling as much economically, but I often feel unloved. I know that sounds tame, but I find that to be the most difficult part of anything is the lack of feeling of being loved.

I do know that I’m a much stronger person BECAUSE of what I’ve suffered. I honestly believe it’s made me more understanding, compassionate.

“When the sun’s always shining, there’s a desert below”. Hard times make us stronger, or can. People who have never suffered are usually very superficial, weak. Surely, you’ve noticed.

Hard times force us to become…better in a lot of ways, or can.

Now, I look at the forum, see a lot of people who are actually worse off than myself. So, I often don’t get into my life’s story.

Sometimes, we are given hard things to overcome. Sometimes, it’s to handle, accept. I’m not yet sure why you have this “hand” you’ve been dealt in life. No idea.

I believe it’s in this fight, struggle where we use all our creativity, strength, courage, faith, hope, love that we come into our being …no matter how it works out.
 
ClearWater said:
Have you ever spoken to a counselor on these matters? a banker or finance person? Well, I once had a counselor with 30 years experience, and she knew a lot about everything! My insurance covered the visits, and she helped me figure out what to do.

Sometimes, finance people can also come up with alternatives that one might not normally even think about, or at least I know I wouldn’t.

Why not go to where you do your banking and ask if you can talk finances with someone?
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I was going to make a similar suggestion and second this advice–this post is even better because I’ve never gone to such a counselor myself, and it’s good to hear from someone with actual experience. Norm640, I hope that you’re still around: have you thought about or tried something like this?
 
Granum_Frumenti said:
I was going to make a similar suggestion and second this advice–this post is even better because I’ve never gone to such a counselor myself, and it’s good to hear from someone with actual experience. Norm640, I hope that you’re still around: have you thought about or tried something like this?
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Okay, I went through a divorce, looked like it might even go into bankruptcy. A finance person suggested we refinance the house, which my (now) ex-husband was able to do. It never even occurred to me to try something like that!

Not only did we not go into bankruptcy, but he was able to get a lower interest rate, pay $100 less/month!

Also, they were willing to help us with ideas with budgeting, I think at no cost, but we ended up heading our own ways, didn’t end up doing that. Still, they were most helpful.

Finances finish off many a relationship, including even some very good marriages!

Also, I wonder if you…Mike, could qualify for any kind of assistance, resources of any kind. A social worker should be able to help with that, tell one…yes or no…give ideas of potential community resources, etc.

I know Goodwill Easter Seals used to help with a free assessment, don’t know if they still do, any more. They also gave referrals if they can’t help, directly.
 
Norm640 said:
Skyhigh, my only point in mentioning the 10% was to show people like you that I’m a good guy. And I don’t do it to earn a damned thing.

There is so much misunderstanding about me.
Skyhighblue34;11622618:
Stop the 10% till your finances stabilize. Don’t give anything right now, because you can’t afford to. You NEED assistance, shouldn’t be giving right at the moment.
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Norm640 said:
Ok, you know what? Since according to the ignoramuses that have posted replies to my post, I am:

1)Just praying to get an outcome.
2)Am selfish.
3)Don’t realize how good I actually have it.

This despite the fact that :

1)No one knows me
2)I have given my whole life
3)I’ve been lower and in worst conditions than most of the people on this site.

No one should ever be mad at God. No one should ever be frustrated. And I am misguided.

You see, according to these great Catholics I am the creator of my own misery.

So, I have an easy solution.

I quit. I am done praying. I am done hoping. Then I don’t have to worry about praying in the wrong way for the wrong things. And that way I don’t have to experience the awesome fellowship of fellow Catholics being jerks. I only wish that I was as bright and wise as all you guys. I mean, to come up with a snap assessment and all-knowing solutions in approximately 2 mins is a real blessing. When you sit in the front row at your Church make sure you thank God for Him giving you the blessings of knowing the faults of everyone else.

And when you get in real economic, mental, personal desperation, make sure you post on this site so you can enjoy the same withering attacks I just went through.

You should all really thank God that you have it as easy as you do. But I’m done. I’m alone, on my own and will never post on this laughingstock of a site again.

You really did God’s work on this one, gang. Thanks. Enjoy your lives.
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I am sorry that you seem to be having a tough time.

Many or most of us struggle at times and we have no way of knowing the personal trial which we poster are currently facing.

I pray you have a better day.
 
I am sorry you are leaving too. I have to ask though, what was your goal in posting the original post? was it just to vent? if so you should have prefaced it with hey guys need to vent or to get solutions you may not have thought of? Everyone who replied had the best of intentions according to their belief and understanding of the situation. you are right we don’t know you we only know the you that posted. I didn’t see anyone saying your stupid, or incompetent. I saw people who have been in the situation of despair that you are in and how they overcome. Catholics don’t have the corner market on judgment and everyone is in a different place on their spiritual journey. It is so easy to say that’s it, not gonna pray anymore…etc. but really that is like a child who says the water was too hot so I’m not gonna take a bath anymore. Scripture is full of stories of ordinary people who stayed the course been to the pit of despair and came out the other side. Moses never even got to see the promised land until the transfiguration with Jesus, Peter and John. long time to wait to see what you struggled so hard to get to. The only thing we can control in this life is how we choose to react to situations. out of love or fear. God created the universe in 7 days, and has kept it going for a pretty long time, so I think He can care for you too. I will continue to pray for your situation to become clearer in the solution and for your journey. blessings
Cate
 
My intention was not to offend you Norm640, but if I did, I apologize.

I am not trying to say that you’re selfishly praying to get what you want from God. I was trying to help you understand why your prayers weren’t being answered.

A look into your history won’t get me information about your spiritual life, but judging from what you told me, you’re on a good path.

You said that Jesus made promises to us (regarding prayer, I suppose). The problem here is that not all of these promises were for individuals, but rather, for a group of people, or even a certain person. 1 John was a letter to the Church, not individuals.
Check out TimothyH’s response in the link below.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=741444&page=2
 
Eduardo06sp said:
I recommend that you read the article, but if you refuse to read the article, please consider some things derived from the article:
  • Prayer is meant to allow us to grow closer to the Lord
  • When we pray, how are we looking at our God? As an instrument to be used? Or as the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ?
  • Do we lift our hearts to Almighty God, or are we looking to “get what we want”?
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While there is some wisdom in encouraging others to trust in God’s wisdom even if our prayers aren’t “answered” (as they were intended), I think it’s dangerous to suggest that Person A’s prayer wasn’t “answered” because they didn’t ask “right” but Person B, who asked for the exact same thing with the exact same disposition got the prayer answered. This happens in the world as far as I can tell. Whereas the focus of “why” a person may not have had an “answered” prayer as they asked may be entirely up to God’s providence. Otherwise, we risk viewing God as someone who responds with “you didn’t ask in the right way” and playing “magic words” games. But in reality, 2 earnest persons could ask for the same thing in the same way and one get it and one not for reasons God knows but never us.
 
James 2:15: If a brother or sister is ill-clad and in lack of daily food,
16: and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit?
 
mcsamuels said:
I have to ask though, what was your goal in posting the original post? was it just to vent? if so you should have prefaced it with hey guys need to vent or to get solutions you may not have thought of? Everyone who replied had the best of intentions according to their belief and understanding of the situation. you are right we don’t know you we only know the you that posted.
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I think that the goal is that when people are in despair, and they’ve done everything right, they’ve turned to God with trust as they were told to, and asked as they were told to, and prayed with the best intentions as they were told to…and things are still falling apart…I believe people are still looking for help, for reassurance, for hope.

Having been through nearly a decade of hell with my alcoholic family and cheating husband–and even now it sometimes feels like it just keeps getting worse–I feel Norm’s pain. And boy does it feel like a slap in the face to have someone tell me well, maybe I’m just selfish, maybe I’m just demanding, maybe I’m just ungrateful. It feels like a bit of blame the victim: well, if you were a decent person, your life would be good like mine. It feels like being right back with my alcoholic, dysfunctional family where somehow, everything is my fault and no matter what I do, it’s not good enough.

And it certainly leaves me nowhere else to go when in fact, I have been fasting, saying the Rosary, tithing, going to Perpetual Adoration, etc. for 25 years. Not saying I’m perfect, but hey, if this isn’t trying hard enough, really, what’s left to do?

I’m not saying anyone intends any of this, but that’s how it comes across, as blaming and patronizing. And it doesn’t help because, in fact, Norm’s attitude is not the problem.

This is where reading the book of Job over and over and over helps. Job was righteous, he was doing everything right, and yet bad things happened to him. What I take from the story is that we simply cannot always understand God’s ways or reasons. The fact is, sometimes we ask, and we don’t receive.

There’s another story about an angel who was sent immediately on prayers being sent up, but was delayed by evil spirits (I’m sure someone here knows which one I’m talking about, it’s slipped my mind now.) This also helps me understand that there is so much we don’t understand, and it’s not as simple as pray with trust and somehow ask for what you want without actually wanting what you want, and everything will fall into place.

The thought (and observation) that Satan strikes hardest against those who are the greatest threat to him is somewhat helpful to me. Again–just the idea that there’s so much more to it than is the person praying, praying ‘correctly’ or is the pray-er a good enough person. There are other things going on.

Norm, I’ve felt the same, that I’m simply through. I look at people practicing yoga and Buddhism and doing whatever with crystals and incense, heck, I have a friend who spent years going to swinger parties–and they swear they’re happy, they seem at peace, they are abundantly blessed with loving families and adoring spouses. Yet…I’m never really tempted to follow that path, because in the end, I think of the apostles who said, “Where else would we go?” Deep down, on an intellectual, and probably heartfelt level, I DO know that God is real, that whatever His reasons, if I turn my back on Him and reject Him, eternity is a long time, and I DO want to spend it with Him. Deep down, I know that these people may have good things now, but they don’t have God.

I offer it for what it’s worth. I’m not out the other side. I’m floundering in a wild ocean of not understanding, just like you, but these are my thoughts as I flounder.
 
This is just an idea…do you have any spare bedrooms in your home?..

Idea 1…rent out a room and use the rent money towards your financial issues

Idea 2…rent out a room to a handyman type of guy…but instead of taking cash for rent write up an agreement that instead of taking cash as payment for his room you will instead expect him to help you with repairs and any work on the farm…the best bit about it is you get extra help without it costing you anything and because you have the extra help you dad can sit back and rest instead of having to work so hard

God bless you and your family

Crystal
 
norm640 I think God loves you for being mad at Him because it shows that you acknowledge Him. I know a saint who said " If you treat your friends like this, no wonder you have so few friends’ St. Theresa of Avilla Maybe He wants to bless you more. To have your faith in Him is a tremendous blessing. I see rich people not so blessed. Can you imagine yourself with the world falling apart around you, and you still being at peace because you got Christ at your side, He runs the world, and your father’s and your life. We take things for granted and we think we do it all. There is also the reality of Satan, I know this for a fact, my faith has been confirmed by realty. Satan’s attempt is to make you lose faith in God, but Jesus sustains you. God allows this to test you, to see if you really love Him for Himself, or for His gifts. When I am in such a situation, and boy have I, with five mouths to feed. I try my best to relieve the situation and when I can’t I have to be patient which is trying, but I’m turning to God all of the time in prayer. I never felt like I was losing my faith. There were times I would say " Lord You take over completely, I give up" somehow I made it. I also say “Father in the Name of Jesus grant me Your Spirit of peace and love and even joy in the midst of my troubles” When you really have Jesus, you got all you need ( and this may include all of your worldly needs. Try to role with the tide, there is a time to float, and there is a time to swim. You are always in God’s hands no matter what you may think or feel. God is with you.
 
Norm:

I don’t think God is silent. I think you may not be listening. Take a look at your post again.
You said “your lousy at farming.” Well?

Could it be that you need to give up on farming and try something different? Sometimes apparent turmoil and difficulty, stormy weather, is a way through which the Lord may be trying to redirect your life according to His will not yours.

Also, please don’t let yourself be tricked into thinking that most people have it easier than you do. Most of us have the same trouble and difficulties. Our circumstances may be different, but the struggle is the same.

Changing directions and a way of life may be the answer God is giving you. Think about it.
 
Norm640 said:
So I’ve been praying forever for God to help us financially. For some window to be opened for me so I can take care of the legion of problems we have. Namely, crushing debt, broken plumbing, a house that is falling apart, and the inability to properly manager our horses.

And so naturally when the ground is frozen solid, one of our horses gets loose and cannot be herded. She is loose, and could get out into traffic and cause loads of problems.

Dad and I talked about building a corral out of some cattle panels I bought. But there is always a “money” issue. Well, now we have to build a better corral, but the ground is frozen. So, I thought about buying a gas-powered post-hold digger with my last 300 dollars, and my dad lectures me about spending. I get mad at him, and here we are. We just have to hope she goes back to her pen. And hope she doesn’t go out into the road.

Dad tells me that my answer to everything is to spend money. Well, guess what? We suck at farming. And it takes money to do these things.

I am so damned tired of this happening every year. Every year. And things get worse and worse, and our money gets less and less.

I give 10% or more of the money I have to God. I help others out. Why can’t God give us a break? Why does my dad have to spend the rest of his life worrying incessantly? Why ?

I wish God would answer me, but He is silent. And I am so mad at Him, I can’t see straight.

This is why I think there is merit in Nietschze’s quote about hope being an evil- it keeps you hanging on. And hanging on. Year after year after decade after life. Why? Why?

I’m tired of this. I’m tired of others having it easy while -for not even one moment- do we get a break. I am mad at God, and you know what really bothers me? That He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care if I’m mad or not. He is God, he’ll do what He wants. I am a mist of vapor to Him.

So again, why hope.
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Just bye the bye, post hole diggers can be rented.
 
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