Is 7 too young for confession

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hoping4more

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So, I have written before about my wife’s ardent opposition to Catholicism but am curious about others opinions. She is of course coming at this from the point of view of reading about the sex abuse scandals and how kids were coaxed into meeting the priest later at a secret location etc.

Obviously, I wouldn’t leave my kids with any other man other than a close relative, and one I trusted very well, and even then only for a short amount of time; so I am not really sure how this happens. In light of all that I am still reluctant to take a young child to a confession, maybe more like at 12-14. That of course would depend on the child and their maturity and desire; DD would probably be capable at 9 but DS1 more like a teenager.

I have read before that toddler/infants in the past were given the Eucharist and others arguing it shouldn’t be denied them now, IDK but could have been some weird sect or whatever.
 
Given that seven years old is the canonical age of reason, a child of that age is not too young to confess.
 
The reason (I believe) Confession is done at the age of 7 is that it was ruled children should be able to receive Communion when they reach the age of reason - which is 7. Confession is supposed to come first to ready the soul.

The priest is no more likely to hurt the child than any other man, so you teach the child to treat them like any other man. Children should know no one’s allowed touch them there, don’t go with someone without Mom and Dad’s permission, say something if someone makes them uncomfortable, etc. All the same common sense rules for teachers, coaches, and strangers in the park. Caution is good, but don’t terrify them into thinking all priests are pedophiles. Just teach them to use their head and report back to you.

If it makes you feel better, you can always ask them to go screen rather than face to face.

Edit: I stand corrected about the age of reason being 7. You, your wife, and their teacher (I’m assuming they’re in CCD?) are the best judges of when your children understand right and wrong, and what the sacrament is all about.
 
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7 year olds can commit sin, ergo they can go to confession (and if they commit mortal sin, must go). When first communion is given has varied, but is not directly relevant to the point.

Most clerical sexual abuse involved teenagers anyway. And didn’t occur in connection to confession.
 
hoping4more said:
Obviously, I wouldn’t leave my kids with any other man other than a close relative, and one I trusted very well, and even then only for a short amount of time; so I am not really sure how this happens
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Keep in mind that a lot of the abuse occurred in a time period when everyone trusted the priest without reserve. Children weren’t taught to be careful and if a priest wanted to, say take little Johnny and his friends on a trip, Johnny’s parents were more likely to be pleased than alarmed. That’s how it used to be. If my parents told my grandparents a priest was hurting them, they probably would’ve been belted.
 
Not all children are ready to confess or even understand the whys or reason to do so. Each child should be evaluated according to his mental and emotional level of understanding of the sacrament. I have an 85 yr. old brother and he still hasn’t 'grown up.!!! In more than a few ways he still acts and views life with the eyes of a 5 yr. old. Just ask his wife!! Peace. (actually he is a pretty decent guy.) Peace
 
Yes, I clarified that in my second response. Or at least tried to.
 
Have the priest over for dinner! Build her trust in him- maybe it’ll even spark the beginning of a conversion.

less than .001% of the priests in the Church are predators… ask her to not paint with a broad brush
 
hoping4more said:
So, I have written before about my wife’s ardent opposition to Catholicism but am curious about others opinions. She is of course coming at this from the point of view of reading about the sex abuse scandals and how kids were coaxed into meeting the priest later at a secret location etc.

Obviously, I wouldn’t leave my kids with any other man other than a close relative, and one I trusted very well, and even then only for a short amount of time; so I am not really sure how this happens. In light of all that I am still reluctant to take a young child to a confession, maybe more like at 12-14. That of course would depend on the child and their maturity and desire; DD would probably be capable at 9 but DS1 more like a teenager.

I have read before that toddler/infants in the past were given the Eucharist and others arguing it shouldn’t be denied them now, IDK but could have been some weird sect or whatever.
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I had my first Confession at 6, and yes, I was alone with the priest, and no, he did not touch or harm me.

Seven is NOT too young for Confession.

It’s really too bad the trust relationship with priests has come to this.

Have the child’s first confession held in a pew, within eyesight, and you sufficiently far so that you don’t hear what’s going on.
 
Talitha712 said:
I’m assuming they’re in CCD
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Church does not offer it for kindergartners. Which I don’t really understand since many kids are 7 by the time they are in 1st grade. I have tried everything for them to have any type of learning for them, not even a cub scouts dominated by Catholic families.

-porthos
I might think about the pew thing. The twins will be 6 in June so we have a ways to go.
 
When I had my first Confession, it was public. My class was lined up in the church, between the pews, and our pastor was standing in front of the altar. We went up individually, and everyone could see you but not hear you. If you’re so worried, I would ask to have your child’s first Confession be a public one like this.
 
7 is not too young. Most of us in the old days had our first confession at age 7. If you are worried about close access with a priest take her to a church that still has the old style confessionals.
 
neither one of us are/were cradle Catholics, I’ll look around at the other churches.
 
hoping4more said:
Church does not offer it for kindergartners.
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Oh I didn’t realize they were that young! I went to Catholic school so my situation was a little different, but they didn’t start preparing me for Confession until the September of my second grade (I had my First Confession that winter but I don’t remember which month) and then they went right into First Communion preparation, which I received in May. I was seven for almost a year before I received Communion and the same was true for most of my classmates. I don’t know if CCD does it differently.
 
Hoping4more.

You have a lot going on at the moment. Your wife is battling cancer. It’s going to be a long hard difficult time for you and your family.

You take your kids to Mass I believe? Let your Parish Priest guide you. This might be a time for prayer and lots of love and hugs. Chemo etc is going to be hard. One of its side effects can be in behaviour changes that can manifest for several years. Ask the chemo nurse for pamphlets on this.

I think you were saying how your wife now really wished to be close in prayer. Let the Holy Spirit lead you all there. You were talking about an abbey close by she liked?

On the historical and more recent sex abuse in the Church, in March it will be highlighted again in the media due to a Cardinal being called to answer a case . I understand this is your in laws issue. Your wife will need their love and support now .

I could give you figures on the issue , for Australia, but I think your family has more pressing issues.

Pray together, as a family, start there. And talk to your Priest about an appropriate time for the children to receive the Sacraments in light of your wife battling cancer.

Your family is in my prayers
 
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I personally think 7 is too young for many children but I don’t make the rules and all our kids received their first Confession at 7 followed by Communion that same year. And I am reluctant to admit that I did have a moment of “what am I doing” when I walked them to the door of the Confessional, introduced them (we were told to) and then closed the door. It felt like I was not protecting her. I know it was just the devil messing with me but still, I have heard the stories and this was my precious daughter that I was to protect at all costs. And yes, we knew the priest well. He was a friend…but still…
 
i don’t think 7 is too young. I made my first confession at age 7 and so did all the other dozens of Catholic children from my Catholic school class and every other Catholic school class in the area. Kids that age have a basic understanding of when they are doing right and wrong, e.g. I disobeyed my mother, I stole a candy bar from the store, I was mean to my little brother, etc. and they can get used to examining their conscience and telling their sins. As said above, if you are going to receive Communion, then you need to be taught that confession is a pre-requisite to Communion and be learning and doing both sacraments together.

If you are worried about allowing a child alone in a confessional with a priest, I note that many churches are now installing, or already have, confessionals with glass panels in the doors so that one can see into the confessional, but not hear. It would be a simple matter for a parent taking a child to confession to find one of these churches and then sit outside in a spot where they could keep an eye on the child. Another option, if your child can do it, is to go to confession at the large penance services that many churches hold a couple of times a year (Holy Week and Christmas) at which many priests are doing face-to-face confessions out in the open in the church. A parent could easily watch from a distance.
 
Seven certainly isn’t too young for a regular examination of conscience. Why would it be too young for confession?
 
Most Catholics I know had their first confession as part of first communion preparation age 7. I don’t think it’s any more risky than a child being asked to see a teacher.
 
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