Is a husband meant to be the boss of his wife?

[Cadellin]

After the fall, in Genesis, God said to Eve about Adam that, ‘he shall be your longing though he have dominion over you.’

This seems to be reiterated by St Paul who said that women must be subject to their husbands.

They both seem to imply that the husband is to be the boss of his wife. This is not a politically correct notion in western society today, but social fashions aside, is the husband meant to be the boss of his wife?

It would probably happen if a strong willed man were married to an easy going woman, but what if it were the other way round, a easy going man married to a strong willed woman? There would be little chance of the wife being subject to her husband in such a marriage.

Perhaps the words ‘dominion’ and ‘subject’ have different meanings in these contexts to their usual meanings.

 

[DebChris]

Notice that Paul calls husband and wife to be submissive to one another, to show deference.
The husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved his Church, willing to give up his life for her.
I have often described what I see as an ideal relationship in terms of a business partnership. The wife is the manager. She takes care of the daily decisions and keeps the household going. The husband values her and seeks her (name removed by moderator)ut. At the same time, she keeps her husband informed and up to date. Communication is not one directional.
The “boss” of a company is responsible for the major decisions, for staying on course in order for the company to be successful. How will a company succeed if the “boss” simply makes decisions without regard for and valuing those in his employment?
While the husband may have “dominion,” that in no way means it is acceptable to lord it over his family. Indeed “God hates the man who covers his garment in blood.” In this scripture passage, the “garment” is the wife.

 

[JRKH]

After the fall, in Genesis, God said to Eve about Adam that, ‘he shall be your longing though he have dominion over you.’

This seems to be reiterated by St Paul who said that women must be subject to their husbands.

They both seem to imply that the husband is to be the boss of his wife. This is not a politically correct notion in western society today, but social fashions aside, is the husband meant to be the boss of his wife?

It would probably happen if a strong willed man were married to an easy going woman, but what if it were the other way round, a easy going man married to a strong willed woman? There would be little chance of the wife being subject to her husband in such a marriage.

Perhaps the words ‘dominion’ and ‘subject’ have different meanings in these contexts to their usual meanings.

You raise a very complex question that will engender a lively conversation no doubt.
God created man and saw that he was lonely so God created woman as his helpmate.
Man an women compliment and need each other for procreation, companionship and to be complete.
Neither amn or Woman should “Dominate” the other but should work together in the roles for which God has suited each by virtue of their gender and personality.

In most societies it has been the man who has presented the “viewpoint” for the family. It is the man who is the stronger and expected to defend home and hearth, kith and kin. By nature it seems that men are the more aggressive in mating and procreation While women seem to be more nurturing and stable.

Emotionally, and within the home, neither should be any more dominant than the other. Rather they should fit together and respect the strengths and roles of each. To do otherwise is to reject the gifts that God has given to each for the strengthening of the marriage.

Hope this helps some.

Peace
James

 

[DebChris]

You raise a very complex question that will engender a lively conversation no doubt.
God created man and saw that he was lonely so God created woman as his helpmate.
Man an women compliment and need each other for procreation, companionship and to be complete.
Neither amn or Woman should “Dominate” the other but should work together in the roles for which God has suited each by virtue of their gender and personality.

In most societies it has been the man who has presented the “viewpoint” for the family. It is the man who is the stronger and expected to defend home and hearth, kith and kin. By nature it seems that men are the more aggressive in mating and procreation While women seem to be more nurturing and stable.

Emotionally, and within the home, neither should be any more dominant than the other. Rather they should fit together and respect the strengths and roles of each. To do otherwise is to reject the gifts that God has given to each for the strengthening of the marriage.

Hope this helps some.

Peace
James

Well written. it seems like you and I were on a previous thread that was similar in nature with each of your responses containing excellent insight.
Man and woman each are made in God’s image. Each brings to the relationship unique gifts. We are called to value one another, to love and respect not just for what we bring but for who we are.

 

[Texas_Roofer]

…, ‘he shall be your longing though he have dominion over you.’

This seems to be reiterated by St Paul who said that women must be subject to their husbands.

They both seem to imply that the husband is to be the boss of his wife. …
…, is the husband meant to be the boss of his wife?

It would probably happen if a strong willed man were married to an easy going woman, but what if it were the other way round, a easy going man married to a strong willed woman? There would be little chance of the wife being subject to her husband in such a marriage.

Perhaps the words ‘dominion’ and ‘subject’ have different meanings in these contexts to their usual meanings.

It seems to me to be poor word choices

Yes the man by nature has domination which is not the same as the ability to beat her. His domination includes building the house, dealing with those outside the family both friend and foe, and providing for the family. Look at how many societies you know of where woman build the buildings, fight the wars, and provide for their husbands, how many are there?

In symmetry the woman is the ONLY mother, and a better nurturer than the man. She will make and raise the entire population.

Boss is a word associated with many issues, however a boss really works for the shareholders (in the US) or the owner NOT the family. Concerning the “strong willed woman” is she strong willed in working with her husband on improving the family? or strong willed in acting as a man? Paul says the latter should be celibate.

Years ago a man said to me **" A man never thinks of his future until he marries, a woman obsesses about the future until she marries" ** My experience is identical to that

 

[DebChris]

We might want to come back to what exactly is meant by “strong-willed” and “easy going.”
I do not see “easy going” as the same as being a doormat. Neither wife nor husband is called to that role. “Easy going” for me is a person who has a relaxed attitude toward the world, the person who sees the silver lining in the cloud.
I am what many would call “strong-willed,” even stubborn. Sometimes a woman needs this strength, especially when it comes to being firm with children so that she can direct their energy in the direction that aids personal growth.
Often we picture Christ as a shepard. It takes a certain about of strength to hold a struggling lamb. I do not for a moment suggest that the husband direct his energy solely to being the family provider. His role as “head of the household” is equally important to that of the mother when it comes to being a role model for the children. We are seeing the need in today’s society for this role model, especially for boys as they learn how to treat the women in their lives.

 

[quiet52]

**So be imitators of God, as beloved children and live in love, as Christ loved us and handed himself over for us as a sacrificial offering to God for a fragrant aroma. (Ephesians 5:1-2 NAB)

Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

“for this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.”

This is a grave mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:21-33)**

The husband is to be the spiritual head of the family, called to bring spiritual unity within the family. Both spouses are called to be mutually reverent and to help each other to be holy. They are to offer themselves to each other in loving service. So no, the man is not to selfishly be “the boss” in temporal (non-spiritual) matters – like “honey, fetch me a beer now or I’ll beat you up.”