Is a marriage valid if?

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Chasingholy

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Needing some advice and really don’t know where to turn.

In high school, I left the church. I met my husband when I was 23 and we went from dating, to living together to eloping within a year 1/2. He’s not Catholic, his family is Muslim. He’s not of any religious affiliation.

Shortly after marrying, he become quite verbally and emotionally abusive. Throw in a gamblin problem where he’s drained our bank accounts several times. While he’s never hit me, he’s pushed me and thrown things at me twice, once in front of our children.

I’ve tried everything to help our marriage, including marriage counseling and personal counseling. He’s gone to emotional intelligence camps and is currently seeing a therapist. The psychologist has come to one diagnosis, severe OCD and that he doesn’t seem to be able to have empathy for people.

I’m exhausted and feel like I have tried my hardest, given my all and exhausted all resources. I don’t know what to do anymore. I think divorcing might be best for my kids and for my sanity.

Is an elopement of two non Catholic people, considered a valid marriage?
 
Were you a baptized Catholic at the time of the marriage? Was the marriage in a Catholic form?
 
Chasingholy said:
Is an elopement of two non Catholic people, considered a valid marriage?
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If you were ever baptized into or received into the Catholic Church before you eloped, even if you stopped practicing or believing, you were bound by the rules around marriage set in canon law, which means marrying in the Church and marrying a Catholic (though both of these can be dispensed).

You would need to discuss this with a priest for better direction, though. The marriage is presumed valid until demonstrated to be otherwise. It might be easy to demonstrate in this case, but it still needs some type of review.
 
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Did you seek the Church’s permission to marry a non-Christian? If the answer is “no”, then, your marriage is likely null.

Call your pastor, get somewhere safe. PRAYERS and know you are a beloved child of God!
 
There is also the option of Petrine/Pauline privilege, if he is not baptized as a Christian. It is in certain circumstances possible for a natural marriage (one in which one or both parties are unbaptized) to be dissolved.
 
I was baptized but not yet confirmed. Marriage was not in Catholic form. A chapel in Las Vegas
 
I was a Catholic, married a non Catholic in a registry office wedding. I was able to get my marriage annulled due to lack of Canonical form (a non Catholic marriage without the blessing of a priest or permission of the Church). Your situation sounds similar. I had my annulment done by an Archbishop who just needed to see my Baptism Certificate, marriage certificate and divorce decree (because a civil marriage is valid legally and needs to be dissolved before annulment). He then wrote me a Decree of Nullity due to lack of canonical form.

If your pastor doesn’t understand this, take the matter to your Bishop or Archbishop. My process took less than two weeks once he had all the paperwork. If you aren’t divorced yet, get that done first.
 
From what you’ve said this is a straightforward “lack of form case” - you weren’t married in a Catholic ceremony and didn’t get dispensation (which almost never happens anyway). There’s also presumably the lack of dispensation when it comes to marrying a non-baptised person.

Anyway, your first step is to ask your priest to put you in touch with the diocesan marriage tribunal office and they’ll take it from there. It’s usually fairly quick to sort an declaration in these cases that the marriage was invalid.
 
That is true, but remember, as others have posted, you pretty much have to have a civil divorce decree BEFORE you apply to the tribunal.
 
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