Is a person who is going through an annullment free to date?

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Kyrie

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I have a friend who is dating a man who is in the process of an annullment. Before they began dating I voiced my concerns about the relationship and of course I was ignored. I consulted a priest who said that is wasn’t “neccessarily” wrong but wasn’t really a good situation either. I have since stopped butting in, but their relationship is progressing at a fast pace and they are even contemplating marraige. Are they BOTH commiting adultry by having this romantic relationship when he is not annulled yet? I mean in God’s eyes isn’t he still a married man?? :banghead: I CAN"T figure it out!!! Someone please HELP!
 
Yes, it’s adultery if he’s not yet been granted an annulment, but you’ve met your obligation by voicing your concern at the beginning, so I don’t think there’s anything more you can do (other than pray) or say to her about it.
 
Seems to me this question is similar to the following: Is it okay for a man becoming a priest to say mass, although he is not yet ordained? The annullment may never even happen, just as this man becoming a priest may never receive holy orders. So, it’s wrong.
 
What should I do? Should I tell them that they are committing adultry? Or stay out of it? She is a good friend, but I fear she is in denial! 😦
 
a person does not go through an anullment. One or both partners in a marriage approaches their parish priest, who brings their case before the diocesan marriage tribunal for an investigation on whether or not a valid sacramental marriage ever existed. If the investigation determines that according to canon law and the particular circumstances no valid marriage ever transpired, it issues a decree of nullity. Until such a decree is issued, the marriage is presumed to be valid, therefore neither party is free to date, whether or not a civil divorce was obtained. Married people cannot date. Moreover, people who are dating may not engage in genital sexual activity, which is reserved for those who are validly married. Dating does not equal sex. No romantic situation that involves sex is possible for this person until and unless he is validly married.
 
right sorry…I guess “going through and annullment” wasn’t the best choice of words
 
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Kyrie:
What should I do? Should I tell them that they are committing adultry? Or stay out of it? She is a good friend, but I fear she is in denial! 😦
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Is your friend asking your advice? If not - back off!!!

If she is, let her know what the Church teaches, which is, because the boyfriend is still married that he has no business dating her and she has no business dating him. The priest seems to have given you a ‘politically correct’ answer…but his answer was wrong. There is plenty wrong with dating someone who is married.

God Bless -
 
I’m glad someone brought this up. We have a similar situation in our family.

My brother-in-law is a widower (his wife died about 2 years ago) with 3 children, ages 9, 7 and 4. He met a woman who was recently divorced (she has a 6-year-old daughter.) Her husband apparently left her for another woman and there were other issues in the relationship. She is in the process of seeking a decree of nullity, but our local parish priest told them the process could take up to two years in our diocese. He (the priest) seems to think that, based on the information regarding the woman’s first union, the decree will be granted but, of course, there is no guarantee.

My BIL and this woman have started talking about marriage. We (our family) have tried to discourage them from “dating” and trying to maintain just a friendship, but this is very hard for them. They argue that they can’t just not see each other until the decree is granted because they want to get to know each other well enough to proceed with matrimony, plus they also want their children to get to know their new siblings and parents. If they wait two years for the annulment (IF it is granted), then how long a courtship must they have before they become engaged and then married?

In a way, I can see their point of view, but there’s no getting away from the fact that she IS still married in the eyes of the Church. Of course, the parish priest giving tacit approval of the relationship doesn’t help matters any. My question, I guess, then is this: just WHAT kind of relationship is permitted here? Friendship? Do friends kiss and hold hands? Go out to dinner without the kids? My BIL is helping her move into a house nearby (she currently lives in town 25 miles away and visits have caused some complications when the hour got late and she and her daughter have had to stay overnight at my BIL’s house) so they can see each other and be around each other’s kids more. And I cringe to think, suppose the decree of nullity ISN’T granted?

Anyhow, if nothing else, pray for our family. This is a difficult situation. We try to be cordial to my BIL’s friend, but we can’t help but see the situation for what it truly is. They just started dating about 3 months ago (they only met a month before that), and I can’t help but feel they might be moving a little too fast.

BlueRose
 
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