Is an abusive marriage grounds for divorce?

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theCardinalbird

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I was wondering if it were possible for someone to divorce in the Catholic Church if a spouse is abusive?
 
It depends. If they entered the marriage abusive then they might have never intended to uphold the marriage vows. If it developed later, they would still have the duty to do the best for the marriage and not abondon it. No one should be ever abused or stay in an abusive relationship.
 
Golightlyholly said:
If it developed later, they would still have the duty to do the best for the marriage and not abondon it
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Yet what happens if the spouse tries to kill his or her spouse? That abusive spouse goes to jail but the other person can’t marry in the Church?
 
Being aware of such situations, such an act would usually suggest the marriage was entered into under false pretences and is therefore not valid to begin with. In such cases, getting to safety is the most important thing, then a civil divorce, then start the process for annulation. Nobody should be abused or suffer in an abusive relationship.
 
Divorce doesn’t occur “in the Catholic Church,” since it is a civil action. However, it is quite often the only way to legally separate and protect yourself, your children, your assets. The Church recognizes that, and one can obtain a civil divorce. In an abusive situation, the most important thing is to get out.
 
One caveat may be of note… If the abuse is against the spouse, but not something that rises to the level of the offending spouse being separated from the children, there can be a scenario where leaving the marriage leaves a child/children at a risk of being with the abusive spouse without the mitigating factor of having the healthy parent present half of the time.

Some disorders (personality, emotional abuse, many mental illnesses) are difficult to prove sufficiently to keep the offender away from the children.
 
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If this is a bond between 2 baptized persons and the marriage was consummated and valid then it is indissouluable. No infidelity or abuse can break that bond. There can be separation for infidelity(even permanent) and there can be grounds for separation for abuse.
 
If you’re in an abusive situation, get out. The church allows for divorce in these situations. Whether the marriage is null and you’re free to civilly remarry is a separate question they can be dealt with later. The most important thing is to keep yourself and any children safe.
 
theCardinalbird said:
I was wondering if it were possible for someone to divorce in the Catholic Church
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Divorce is a civil matter. One does not “divorce in the Catholic Church.” The Church’s ecclesial law foresees the need for a person to legally separate themselves from their spouse to protect children, property, etc. This can be through whatever legal means are available in a particular civil jurisdiction, including civil divorce.

If a person divorces, they are not free to seek another marriage, as they have a prior bond. If they believe their marriage was not a valid marriage, they can petition a Church tribunal to investigate their freedom to marry.
 
Lifeisbeautiful3 said:
One caveat may be of note… If the abuse is against the spouse, but not something that rises to the level of the offending spouse being separated from the children, there can be a scenario where leaving the marriage leaves a child/children at a risk of being with the abusive spouse without the mitigating factor of having the healthy parent present half of the time.

Some disorders (personality, emotional abuse, many mental illnesses) are difficult to prove sufficiently to keep the offender away from the children
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I’m asking this to everyone who sees this who may have flagged my post: Why is it that my post was wrong while this one has 5 likes? I’m just curious. I’m not trying to be mean or sour, I’m genuinely curious.
 
theCardinalbird said:
Yet what happens if the spouse tries to kill his or her spouse? That abusive spouse goes to jail but the other person can’t marry in the Church?
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A valid marriage is always valid, regardless of what one the spouses may do or not do.

And while I certainly have a lot of sympathy for folks in difficult situations, I am in a difficult situation myself. My wife left me last month and, barring a serious conversion, seems very pleased to live in adultery with another man. It can be difficult to think that I may be alone for the rest of my life, but let’s get real: I’m not really alone, and he who loses his life for Christ’s sake shall find it.

Our job isn’t to look at crosses and grow annoyed at them, but rather to see them and to beg God for the graces to carry them.
 
Domestic violence is a very current topic, and I wish more priests would discuss it in their homilies or within their parishes in some form.

It is possible to seek an annulment due DV, depending on the exact situation—if anyone says straight flat out it isn’t otherwise, they are misled.

DV often shows that the person never fully committed to the other under the right pretences, misled or lied to the other concerning their behaviours, etc.


It is a very outdated view, and one the Catholic Church is heavily trying to change, that DV victims should stay married to their abusers.

Nearly half of all murdered women are killed by their romantic partners, often after years of DV.

If you, or anyone reading this, is in the situation, please speak to a priest you trust and you can also contact your local Catholic Marriage Tribunal if you need to ask any questions pertaining to annulment on the grounds of DV.
 
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semper_catholicus said:
I’m asking this to everyone who sees this who may have flagged my post: Why is it that my post was wrong while this one has 5 likes? I’m just curious. I’m not trying to be mean or sour, I’m genuinely curious.
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your post was flagged? What post?
 
theCardinalbird said:
I was wondering if it were possible for someone to divorce in the Catholic Church if a spouse is abusive?
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It’s impossible to get a divorce in the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church, based on the teachings of Jesus Christ, does not believe a couple that had been validly married in the Catholic Church can ever be divorced in the Church.

But the Church can investigate if the marriage was indeed a valid marriage. If the Church finds grounds for the marriage to be invalid, then the Church could grant an annulment to the couple. An annulment means that the couple were truly NEVER married because the marriage was never valid in the first place (which could had happen for a variety of reasons).
 
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PeterT said:
But the Church can investigate if the marriage was indeed a valid marriage. If the Church finds grounds for the the marriage to be invalid, then the Church could grant an annulment to the couple. An annulment means that the couple were truly NEVER married because the marriage was never valid in the first place (which could had happen for a variety of reasons).
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Yes, exactly. :+1:t2:

And this needs more airtime.
 
I deleted it. It basically said that I was pretty sure that the Church allowed civil divorce in certain circumstances. Without remarriage, of course.
 
CD45 said:
Domestic Violence is a HUGE issue. Tragically, people can die in these types of relationships. Worry about annulments and Church teachings later, if you are in an abusive relationship get help now by a professional agency. Our diocese has an excellent webpage of resources, including an automatic “eraser” so no site visit record is kept on the computer visiting this site. (It’s for the safety of the person seeking help.).
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Yep, I agree. Great resources available! I pray that those seeking and needing them find them. :pray:t2:
 
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