Is Catholic sacrificial love always good or sometimes bad too?

[Elena321]

It’s said being a Christian means to have sacrificial love for another,esteem others before ourselves,have a “servants heart” etc…
This is fine when your dealing with others who are nice or kind but what about when you are dealing with people who are arrogant etc?
If you are this Christian way then they will never change their ways or learn because you are being loving and giving them their way always by putting their “needs” first.

It reminds me of,here where I live,there are many arrogant Medical Doctors.Instead of talking to patients as a team with the patient,they often dictate to them with a haughty sense of expectation that the patient will do what they are told.
Patients often fear them and fear challenging them so they “put their tail between their legs”,so to speak.
These doctors have grown accustomed to not being challenged and they then “thrive” on the power.
They have an arrogant demeanour and strut around “like they are God”.
My point being that if you show sacrificial Christian type love to these types of people,that doesn’t work.Its not something they relate to and they perceive you as weak and continue in their arrogance.

 

[fred_conty]

But for yourself, you need not get angry or arrogant, but rather just be nice and gentle like, and persistent when asking a question. This is more for you than it is for them. Just remember that God resides in you, that he is your guest. Above all treat him with all curtesy and remain calm. In a sense, what we do, he is also put thru that same experience when he is living within us.

So think of him within, and then begin you question in the way he would want you to.

Blessed be God who comforts us in all our efforts.

 

[MyNameIsDan]

I think sacrifical love (agape) is good but only to an extent. I remember discussing the concept of agape in an ethics class. Now, it isn’t a Catholic Ethics class; we discussed different ethical theories/perspectives, so for all I know, the professor doesn’t grasp agape very well. But I digress. You have to remember that there are also many virtues (cardinal virtues and seven virtues - I suggest taking a look, I certainly needed to read up on it again). Spinelessness is in opposition to courage. When it is called for, I think it falls on you to let them know that they are doing something wrong. There is a difference between showing “sacrificing love” and being spineless. Is it really showing love to let somebody do something wrong? God did send Jesus to correct us even though it meant Him being crucified.

As well, the Catholic life, if I understand corrrectly, is not purely agape (self-sacrificing love). It is also about the eros. If you’re interested, I believe this can be read in the first 2-3 pages of Pope Emeritus Benedict’s encylical, Deus Caritas Est (God is Love) in which he discusses the different types of love.

Finally, remember the second greatest commandment: You shall love your neighbour as you love yourself.

I remember reading somewhere that “as you love yourself” is a condition to loving your neighbour. You cannot love your neighbour if you do not love yourself. Therefore, in order to love yourself, you must take the action of defending yourself when you are right and not allow yourself to be degraded. By showing love for yourself, you can then show love to another.

I hope I explained that okay.

 

[Mintaka]

Part of love is justice and prudence. You don’t love someone in a way that makes them worse, or that lets them run into traffic.

Sacrificial love doesn’t mean, “Oh, beat me up for forty years and I’ll never complain.” It could mean that, if you were in certain circumstances. (Like Jesus, Who had a very good reason.)

But it doesn’t usually mean that, in a situation when justice and prudence demands that you should speak up or do something.

 

[Ad_Orientem]

It may be that making sacrifices has to be moderated, but you can’t have too much charity. Charity is a supernatural virtue infused by God; it is what makes our actions meritorious. It is what animated the sacrifices made by the saints–from voluntary poverty to martyrdom, for love of God. So it may be that for the present, the bad guys get away with it; but if you exhibit charity, in the big picture you lose nothing compared to what you gain.