A
AgDoc98
Guest
My late wife, died in 11/2012 from cancer about nine months after the birth of our daughter. We knew that she would die from her disease at the time of diagnosis but did not know if it would be 6 months, 12 months, or even longer. In discussing end of life wishes, she stated she wanted to be cremated and buried in a cemetery. Part of her wishes were that our daughter and I would visit from time to time of course. She had a Catholic funeral, after which she was cremated and interred at a cemetery near us in North Texas
My late wife’sparents live about a 4.5 hour drive away and I try my best to afford opportunities for them to come visit their granddaughter and I make an effort to get together with them to see their granddaughter as much as possible.
They recently asked if I would give permission to have my late wife’s remains moved to a cemetery in the town they live in so that it would be easier for them to visit her as they are in their 70s and travel is becoming more difficult for them.
I am conflicted on all of this…
On one hand, I personally know that she is not in that grave. I believe that she died in a state of grace and is in heaven in the communion of saints and that I am closest to her when I am in the presence of the blessed sacrament at Mass and at adoration and so I don’t have the same sense of importance that they do as regards to visiting her grave site. On the other hand, moving her remains would make it very difficult for my daughter to visit but she’s only 3 and doesn’t really understand things as she really has no memory of my late wife other than what I tell her.
I feel like part of the reason they are asking at this point is that I have remarried and they potentially feel like I “have moved on” from that part of my life and no longer have grief over the situation.
It’s a difficult situation all around and I don’t know if this is something they have been contemplating for awhile or if this is because the three year anniversary of her death is next month.
I guess the first question I have is whether the Church evens allows for moving someone’s remains after they have been interred in the Catholic Rite? If the answer to that is no, then there’s no decision to make, but if it is allowed then I will have some serious discernment to undertake to decide what is best.
My late wife’sparents live about a 4.5 hour drive away and I try my best to afford opportunities for them to come visit their granddaughter and I make an effort to get together with them to see their granddaughter as much as possible.
They recently asked if I would give permission to have my late wife’s remains moved to a cemetery in the town they live in so that it would be easier for them to visit her as they are in their 70s and travel is becoming more difficult for them.
I am conflicted on all of this…
On one hand, I personally know that she is not in that grave. I believe that she died in a state of grace and is in heaven in the communion of saints and that I am closest to her when I am in the presence of the blessed sacrament at Mass and at adoration and so I don’t have the same sense of importance that they do as regards to visiting her grave site. On the other hand, moving her remains would make it very difficult for my daughter to visit but she’s only 3 and doesn’t really understand things as she really has no memory of my late wife other than what I tell her.
I feel like part of the reason they are asking at this point is that I have remarried and they potentially feel like I “have moved on” from that part of my life and no longer have grief over the situation.
It’s a difficult situation all around and I don’t know if this is something they have been contemplating for awhile or if this is because the three year anniversary of her death is next month.
I guess the first question I have is whether the Church evens allows for moving someone’s remains after they have been interred in the Catholic Rite? If the answer to that is no, then there’s no decision to make, but if it is allowed then I will have some serious discernment to undertake to decide what is best.