Is getting involved with someone who is in a common-law marriage sinful?

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Epistemes

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If someone has kids and is living with someone else, but isn’t actually married, thus constituting a common-law marriage (I believe), is it sinful to get involved (emotional, non-sexual) with that person?
 
Not all states recognize common law marriages.

This sounds like a risky situation, certainly an occasion for scandal. From the perspective of prudence, one ought to demand the individual cease cohabitation before entering a relationship.
 
Depending if in that state living together is considered “common-law marriage.” If so then I suggest you stay away until they are completely terminated and then give things a try…If not I suggest you stay away until they are completely separated and terminated before getting into a relationship with that person…

“Though shall not covet anything that belongs to thy neighbor.” Even if they are not married they are still together, and you are wanting that person…I don’t think that is a good thing…

One of my friend’s is living with her exhusband, father of her first child…There is nothing there at all only roommates, she has a second child from a second relationship not exhusband…And again she’s just roommates with her exhusband their 13 year old daughter has even said they are like friends but they are my parents… My friend started dating another friend of mine, going on 3 months or so, they just got engaged, and her roommate went balistic enough to get drunk and fall down the basement stair case…Their daughter witnessed this…It devastated both of them. Roommate(exwife of drunkard)-friend- because she had never seen her ex act that way and daughter because that’s her father and he was feeling hurt…found out he liked having her around, he felt she was still his and under his control, since they shared the house they had rules and regulations that they both had to meet, gave him a bit of control over here…But now with her fiance, her fiance is all ready looking for a new place for them, and when her exhusband found out he went well did the whole almost broke his back thing… And this that they had nothing at all since their daughter was born and they got divorced and decided it was best to stay friends!!! LOL

Now imagine someone in a relationship even though they are not married, finding out they have a new love behind their back when they were thinking that they were in a loving relationship raising a child or children together only to find out the love of their life has betrayed them?

Would you really want to be part of someone whom isn’t honest at all with their life partner even if they are not married? What kind of a husband would that person be and what example is he setting for his children? Stay with the person that you get pg for comfort until you find someone you can really love?! 🤷

I would be heart broken to know someone else got in between my life partner and I just because he lied and told this new found love that we were not together when we were…

So if I were you just stay away and advise him to tell his life partner the truth especially if he’s trying to move on…you know?!

God bless and good luck!
 
iluvmybabies said:
“Though shall not covet anything that belongs to thy neighbor.” Even if they are not married they are still together, and you are wanting that person…I don’t think that is a good thing…
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Presuming there is no marriage, no common-law marriage, and presuming no formal dating takes place behind the back of this “life partner,” is it so bad? How is different that changing boyfriends or girlfriends?

I agree that the kids complicate the issue, but if one person desires holy matrimony instead of mere cohabitation, isn’t that setting a better example for the kids?
 
Maybe it isn’t sinful but it is incredibly stupid.
Besides, they are willing to stab their lover in the back when it is convenient for them. What makes you think they will not do the same to you when it tickles their fancy?
 
Epistemes said:
Presuming there is no marriage, no common-law marriage, and presuming no formal dating takes place behind the back of this “life partner,” is it so bad? How is different that changing boyfriends or girlfriends?

I agree that the kids complicate the issue, but if one person desires holy matrimony instead of mere cohabitation, isn’t that setting a better example for the kids?
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This person you are talking about obviously put more thought into what they are going to have for breakfast than who they are going to start a family with. That should be a giant red flag for you. Treat him/her like they were carrying the plague.
 
Tosk said:
Maybe it isn’t sinful but it is incredibly stupid.
Besides, they are willing to stab their lover in the back when it is convenient for them. What makes you think they will not do the same to you when it tickles their fancy?
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Fickleness of the other party aside, I’m not sure if it’s been established that such a situation is actually sinful.
 
Epistemes said:
Fickleness of the other party aside, I’m not sure if it’s been established that such a situation is actually sinful.
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It might be depending on how you go about it.

But ya know I don’t think I would ever get that far into evaluating the situation. It is like asking, is sticking your finger in a light socket sinful? You just don’t even think beyond how dumb it would be to actually wonder if it is sinful. Believe me there are much more fun ways to screw up your life. 👍
 
Epistemes said:
Presuming there is no marriage, no common-law marriage, and presuming no formal dating takes place behind the back of this “life partner,” is it so bad? How is different that changing boyfriends or girlfriends?

If there is nothing between them just “roommates” like my gf is with her exhusband then there is nothing wrong…They are both single parents of the same daughter whom just share a house, the building, not have a home together…So they both date freely, until he found out she got engaged then the true feelings came out but they both had dated after their divorce and she even has a second child from her second lover…SO of course if they are like “roommates” then there is nothing wrong they are both free to date…But I would still be cautious because you know a lot of couples whom live together still have some sort of a lover’s relationship sometimes…I know my friend before she met her second baby daddy, did have sex with her exhusband…Since she met her second baby daddy she hasn’t had anything at all to do with her exhusband but that’s sitll something to be cautious about you know!?

I agree that the kids complicate the issue, but if one person desires holy matrimony instead of mere cohabitation, isn’t that setting a better example for the kids?
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right but what would you do if you were in that situation? Let’s pretend you are the woman, whom is in this relationship and hoping someday to get married to the baby daddy… BUT baby daddy goes and tells you it’s not the right time…All of a sudden a rumor goes around that baby daddy has met someone…You accidentally run into this other person, and she tells you it’s because he told her you didn’t want a marriage just cohabitation… ??? Interesting no? How about you are the man, with this woman whom just wants cohabitation and not marriage, why would you even have children with her to begin with if you knew marriage wasn’t what she wanted in the first place??? Makes no sense and then you go and meet someone else but are in this relationship of a family even if it’s cohabitation only, how would you break your lover’s heart and your children’s just because you found someone whom wants to have a marriage instead of just cohabitation? Yeah, doesn’t make sense…Unless there is no love any more and no way of making it work, this doesn’t make sense…
 
*We shouldn’t covet what someone else ‘has.’ When I was single, I didn’t try to date my gf’s boyfriends…that is just unethical to me…

I liken it to coveting. Doesn’t matter if someone is married or not, if that person is in a serious relationship with another person, as Christians, we shouldn’t try to destroy that relationship. Now, if the two people break up with each other…and there was no marriage to begin with, then those two are free to date…but, I would feel bad if I was the cause of two people ending a relationship. *
 
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