First of all, congratulations! It’s always awesome to know someone is preparing his/herself to swim across the Tiber to be received into Holy Mother Church. I’ll be sure that you are included in my prayers.
Secondly, on the question of the priesthood, as someone who is also discerning to that call, I’d adivse you to calm down a bit on the thought and think it through.
Quoting from yourself:
The only thing is im afraid to ask God “if you want me to be a priest then let the next homily be about vocations” because if its not then I don’t know If God wants me to be even though I want to so bad!
On first point, don’t do that. That is putting God to the test, and isn’t benefitial to either you or Him. Second, I’m not sure you are totally aware of the trials and the cross that is carried by those chosen to receive the sacrament of Holy Orders. The holy priesthood isn’t easy - it will require of you a life of perpetual obedience and chastity, as well as a life totally centered on God and His sheep. Even some of the most saintly people you’ll ever meet wouldn’t be able to do it.
Third point, make a serious reflection and discernment on your vocation. There are other ways to immerse yourself into Church life that aren’t necessarily the priesthood. Lay men have their own movements and groups with a certain charism and spirituality (I personally have been accused of attempting to join every group in my diocese
) that might fit you just fine. A holy marriage with a faithful and loving wife can also bolster your faith and put you closer to Heaven than the priesthood ever could put you. Or maybe you’re called to be a simple lay monk, without Holy Orders. The options are really, really varied, and you need to discern them in good conscience.
Don’t fix yourself in any state of life just yet, and be ready to face the possibility of being directed by Our Lord into a direction that you did not desire, or did not expect at first, whilst you’re discerning. You have been already chosen for a certain state of life in order for you to answer the universal calling of holiness, and this is all about finding out what it is. This isn’t much about what state of life seems the most appealing or the most ‘awesome’ to live, it’s about bearing the cross of your calling so you can enjoy the glory of being one of the Chosen of the Lamb. And that implies that your life won’t be easy in any human standards!
With that out of the way, I’ll now go ahead and give you more pratical advise on the matter. First, once you’re fully in the Church, confess often, at least once a month (don’t go into scrupulous mode over your sins either, at least not preferrably, even though that’s a phase we all go through eventually), and go to Mass whenever you can, ready to receive Holy Communion. Next, consecrate yourself to the Blessed Mother and entrust Her to guide you to your vocation. Believe me, she’s one heck of a help!
pray the Rosary (at least five mysteries, in the traditional order) every day, or gain the habit in order to be able to do so. And, most importantly, get a trustworthy spiritual director that knows you well, and follow his insctructions and advise obediently. Speak with the vocations director of your diocese and talk about your interest into the priesthood, as he might help you.
Most important of all,
be open minded to any possible vocation. That’s much harder than you might think. Keep checking your path and confirm with Our Lord that you’re in the right one. If you go to the seminary, keep confirming that you’re doing God’s will, even if you’re one month short of becoming a Deacon. Seminaries, apart from forming priests, also expand and develop exponentially one’s prayer life and knowledge of the Faith. Do not underestimate that, and face the possibility that God might be calling you there temporarily for you to have this development you need for your sainthood, and not necessarily to become a priest.
Apart from that, pray, be faithful, and intend nothing more other than your service to Our Lord, and everything will fall in place. I’ll keep you in my prayers. God bless!
