Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?

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Annunciata

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I have been thinking about this for sometime now…. When I first came to CAF I was very honest about a question on a poll and was later hurt by others at my response.

I was recently on a thread where someone did a similar thing…answered the question honestly and some were not so nice.

I have also noticed that sometimes new people will come here with very personal questions hoping for an answer only to be treated badly by some, (i.e., Judged, condemned, sinful, etc.) So with those thoughts in mind, please share yours….
 
As someone who does not always answer questions with all due humility and charity, let me apologize for those who have offended you with callous remarks.

That said, it is important to use these forums wisely, both in posting and in answering questions. Too often have I seen trite responses to serious questions. I’ve also seen far too many trite questions (especially silly polls - Karl should put a limit on the number of polls that can be created).

I don’t know your circumstances so I can’t comment specifically on that.

So, to answer your question: Should you be honest? Absolutely. Always.

But if being “honest” puts you in a fragile position, then it might be best not to post/answer at all rather than answer dishonestly.

Hope this helps.
 
Sometimes it isn’t an issue of honesty in the actual answer, but the direction you take. You have to assume that original poster has the best of intentions in regards to curiousity and just doesn’t know the background.
 
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Annunciata:
I have been thinking about this for sometime now…. When I first came to CAF I was very honest about a question on a poll and was later hurt by others at my response.

I was recently on a thread where someone did a similar thing…answered the question honestly and some were not so nice.

I have also noticed that sometimes new people will come here with very personal questions hoping for an answer only to be treated badly by some, (i.e., Judged, condemned, sinful, etc.) So with those thoughts in mind, please share yours….
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Oh My…I didn’t hurt your feelings did I? I don’t think I did but I can be careless sometimes…

I have been well…I don’t think hurt but embarrassed by some…it has caused me to be more cauious in answering posts but thats not such a bad thing…
 
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aimee:
Oh My…I didn’t hurt your feelings did I? I don’t think I did but I can be careless sometimes…

I have been well…I don’t think hurt but embarrassed by some…it has caused me to be more cauious in answering posts but thats not such a bad thing…
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No not at all…I was using my experience as an example and I’m still here!!! And, have actually befriended some of those who were harsh.
Thanks for being so caring. God Bless, Annunciata:)
 
I would agree with The Barrister that unless we are honest in how we post we do not stand to gain very much from the process.

I have also learned (very recently) that other peoples opinions should not be rediculed, no matter how badly you may disagree with it. Every person is on a journey and we have no idea where that other person may be coming from. They may even be on the cusp of some deeper conversion and if we respond with Christian charity we could possibly help them along rather than push them away. Some people approach the faith with skepticism and that is understandable; the important thing is that they are approaching the faith by virtue of posting on these forums!

Everyone of us that post on these forums needs help with our faith in one aspect or another. I don’t think anyone would say that they have “perfect” faith, and if they did say that we would know better because without humility our faith is useless!

Be honest with your posts and expect that not everyone will respond charitably. Some of us :whistle: can not resist a good debate especially if you submit a controversial post!
 
The Barrister:
As someone who does not always answer questions with all due humility and charity, let me apologize for those who have offended you with callous remarks.
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Thanks for your kind response …I’m also thinking of those who may have been hurt and didn’t quite know how to handle it. I’m a fighter…I may go lick my wounds but I will always forgive…or at least try… Sometimes the way in which we might answer a question might be taken completely out of context so we have to keep that in mind as well. I don’t think that anybody here really intends to be hurtful…
God Bless,
Annunciata:)
 
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martino:
I would agree with The Barrister that unless we are honest in how we post we do not stand to gain very much from the process.

I have also learned (very recently) that other peoples opinions should not be rediculed, no matter how badly you may disagree with it. Every person is on a journey and we have no idea where that other person may be coming from. They may even be on the cusp of some deeper conversion and if we respond with Christian charity we could possibly help them along rather than push them away. Some people approach the faith with skepticism and that is understandable; the important thing is that they are approaching the faith by virtue of posting on these forums!

Everyone of us that post on these forums needs help with our faith in one aspect or another. I don’t think anyone would say that they have “perfect” faith, and if they did say that we would know better because without humility our faith is useless!

Be honest with your posts and expect that not everyone will respond charitably. Some of us :whistle: can not resist a good debate especially if you submit a controversial post!
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Your very honest Martino;) …God Bless you for that and keep up your great Apologetics!! Annunciata:)
 
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renee1258:
Sometimes it isn’t an issue of honesty in the actual answer, but the direction you take. You have to assume that original poster has the best of intentions in regards to curiousity and just doesn’t know the background.
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I know but that actual answer posted in all honesty and sincerity is sometimes taken by others as a license to zero in on them.
Annunciata:)
 
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Annunciata:
I have been thinking about this for sometime now…. When I first came to CAF I was very honest about a question on a poll and was later hurt by others at my response.

I was recently on a thread where someone did a similar thing…answered the question honestly and some were not so nice.

I have also noticed that sometimes new people will come here with very personal questions hoping for an answer only to be treated badly by some, (i.e., Judged, condemned, sinful, etc.) So with those thoughts in mind, please share yours….
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I’d say this is a very timely thread for me, Annunciata! Thank you! I think I will be more careful on my posts now than I have been previously, mainly because sometimes others are so easily offended and I am often vulnerable to their reactions. I try not to respond like Quick-draw McGraw now! Sometimes if a thread gets my back up too much I just don’t post, and that seems to save me a lot of grief (and the other posters, too!). I do think it is important to stay honest, though, nonetheless. I am not ashamed of myself or how I feel or believe, but I am also much more cautious in revealing my inner self now, depending on my inner strength any given day! and I am becoming much more concerned with how *my *posts may effect others, which I think is a good thing for me. If I feel really negatively about a thread or a poster on a thread I feel I must be really careful in what I write because I don’t want my words to cause anyone else grief. This is difficult to do sometimes, but necessary for me to strive toward! God bless this thread! Thanks, Annunciata! 👍
 
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martino:
I would agree with The Barrister that unless we are honest in how we post we do not stand to gain very much from the process.

I have also learned (very recently) that other peoples opinions should not be rediculed, no matter how badly you may disagree with it. Every person is on a journey and we have no idea where that other person may be coming from. They may even be on the cusp of some deeper conversion and if we respond with Christian charity we could possibly help them along rather than push them away. Some people approach the faith with skepticism and that is understandable; the important thing is that they are approaching the faith by virtue of posting on these forums!

Everyone of us that post on these forums needs help with our faith in one aspect or another. I don’t think anyone would say that they have “perfect” faith, and if they did say that we would know better because without humility our faith is useless!

Be honest with your posts and expect that not everyone will respond charitably. Some of us :whistle: can not resist a good debate especially if you submit a controversial post!
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Right on, Martino! I totally agree with what you say here. Very sage! and right on the mark! Many blessings!
 
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martino:
I would agree with The Barrister that unless we are honest in how we post we do not stand to gain very much from the process.

I have also learned (very recently) that other peoples opinions should not be rediculed, no matter how badly you may disagree with it. Every person is on a journey and we have no idea where that other person may be coming from. They may even be on the cusp of some deeper conversion and if we respond with Christian charity we could possibly help them along rather than push them away. Some people approach the faith with skepticism and that is understandable; the important thing is that they are approaching the faith by virtue of posting on these forums!

Everyone of us that post on these forums needs help with our faith in one aspect or another. I don’t think anyone would say that they have “perfect” faith, and if they did say that we would know better because without humility our faith is useless!

Be honest with your posts and expect that not everyone will respond charitably. Some of us :whistle: can not resist a good debate especially if you submit a controversial post!
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Excellent! and so true, I do try hard to answer a question within 100 words or less, and I do try not to judge unless it is a poll and someone is looking for an opinion, or the political forum I think my personality really changes into a beast women, maybe because of my lack of respect for politicians, and my lack of knowledge in the political world.
But as you said everyone is on a journey of faith and should feel good to be here, but I think that you learn quickly where you should or should not go on the forum, I am sure some people do really well in politics, and others are here for the faith journey and to help build their faith. But even with the tongue lashings I have received here and there I find this is probably the only time I sit and relax in my day, and there are many many wonderful people here including you Annuciata!🙂
 
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NightRider:
I’d say this is a very timely thread for me, Annunciata! Thank you! I think I will be more careful on my posts now than I have been previously, mainly because sometimes others are so easily offended and I am often vulnerable to their reactions. I try not to respond like Quick-draw McGraw now! Sometimes if a thread gets my back up too much I just don’t post, and that seems to save me a lot of grief (and the other posters, too!). I do think it is important to stay honest, though, nonetheless. I am not ashamed of myself or how I feel or believe, but I am also much more cautious in revealing my inner self now, depending on my inner strength any given day! and I am becoming much more concerned with how *my *posts may effect others, which I think is a good thing for me. If I feel really negatively about a thread or a poster on a thread I feel I must be really careful in what I write because I don’t want my words to cause anyone else grief. This is difficult to do sometimes, but necessary for me to strive toward! God bless this thread! Thanks, Annunciata! 👍
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I’m glad that is helpful to you and I hope it is for others sharing a similar experience. God Bless, Annunciata:)
 
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Toni:
…But as you said everyone is on a journey of faith and should feel good to be here, but I think that you learn quickly where you should or should not go on the forum, I am sure some people do really well in politics, and others are here for the faith journey and to help build their faith. But even with the tongue lashings I have received here and there I find this is probably the only time I sit and relax in my day, and there are many many wonderful people here …
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Well said Toni! and as Martino stated in a previous post we are all in different places on our Faiths Journey…
We shouldn’t ever feel afraid to post here because someone might disagree, after all we are all entitled to have our own opinions…only when we offer them, we hope they will be in Charity…:love:
God Bless, Annunciata:)
 
The only thing that bugs me about CAF forums is that if a thread seems to have to find a point where everyone is condemning everyone else for something that is etiher on topic, or more likely off topic. I have created maybe 5 threads here and recently one got closed becasue people were so cruel towards a certian religion.

But honesty is good, we just have to separate fact from opinion.
 
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Meggie:
But honesty is good, we just have to separate fact from opinion.
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I’m sorry about the lack of charity on your threads Meggie…Maybe the answer is in what you said in the above, learning to separate fact from opinion…:rolleyes:
God Bless,
Annunciata:)
 
It is best to be attuned to whether someone is posting for apologetical reasons or pastoral reasons. Someone coming on here looking sincerely looking for advice in their life should be handled patiently and gently.

Apologetics is another animal. This is where one’s opinions need to be defended, and one needs to be prepared to have it picked apart rather brutally. Someone said “that other peoples opinions should not be rediculed”. I disagree. An opinion is not valid simply because one has it. If it is based on faulty reasoning, flimsy evidence etc. it should be ridiculed to the moon–just make sure you keep the distinction between the opinion and the person with the opinion. Clobber the bad opinion, be nice to the person who has it.

Scott
 
Sometimes it seems like people jump on a particular poster, and then a squabble ensues. I personally don’t like separating apologetics from the person we are talking to, but that seems to happen. Other times it more feels like both sides are being honest, both the original poster, and those who subsequently honestly respond by not liking/understanding what was said.

I learn from the truly honest responses of those who are different than me. I genuinely appreciate those responses. How else can I come to be more understanding if the truth isn’t communicated? I say, be honest! BTW, there seems to be some method of putting certain posters on “iggy” as they say in chat rooms. It is right by where you make someone your “buddy”. I assume it works, though I haven’t used it.
 
Scott Waddell:
Apologetics is another animal. This is where one’s opinions need to be defended, and one needs to be prepared to have it picked apart rather brutally. Someone said “that other peoples opinions should not be rediculed”. I disagree. An opinion is not valid simply because one has it. If it is based on faulty reasoning, flimsy evidence etc. it should be ridiculed to the moon–just make sure you keep the distinction between the opinion and the person with the opinion. Clobber the bad opinion, be nice to the person who has it.

Scott
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I fully agree. Apologetics is an altogether different matter. Ideas themselves can be criticized and torn apart, but people who espouse them should be respected and be given the benefit of the doubt, that is, of having posted them in good faith.

Gerry 🙂
 
OK, even I am beginning to feel that an apology is in order for some of my posts. Please know that I’m truly sorry if I have offended or hurt anyone’s feelings. (Unless of course it had something to do with you saying you intend to vote for Kerry… in which case I meant every word!) 😉 CM
 
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