Is is okay to have priest preference for confession?

[akrulisky]

Just another perspective.

Our parish only has one priest and it is done face to face. Father truly is a wonderful priest and more Catholic than anyone I know and takes his vocation seriously. However, he is Polish and there are cultural differences and his personality is very intimidating, impatient, not to mention he has x-ray vision. At Confession everyone is in and out very fast. Last week, I went to confession dreading having to say I was I was going to have to say when the door opened and it revealed that a visiting priest was doing Confession this time. I have to tell you, you could hear an audible sigh from everyone all around me.

It was the first time I experienced another Confessor and he talked with me and gave me some good advice on several points. One was not lost on me, and that was that no matter what do not be afraid of Confession because that is Satan’s work to keep us from receiving Absolution. This priest had no idea how important those words were to me. Maybe he picked up on my anxiety, but I think it was the Holy Spirit working through him. Consequently, I decided, knowing I will have to face my regular austere Confessor again, that I should be praying for our priest. Therefore, while he is away at a Priest Retreat this week, I am saying a Rosary each day dedicated to our parish priest that he will be nourished and return rested.

 

[InNomineDomini]

As (name removed by moderator) said, we should be focused on having God forgive us, rather than worldly sensibilities.

To be frank, there’s lots of perfectly holy reasons to prefer one priest over another.

Sometimes, we commit sins that are difficult to pin down in terms of gravity, or which we need specialized advice to adequately deal with. Some priests have a better, more firm knowledge of moral theology than others, and it’s silly not to want to take advantage of that.

Moreover, priests have personalities, and they have their own way of looking at things. Sometimes, one approach is better to another, and a penitent may be aware of this, and have a preference.

… this is not even to get into the fact that, unfortunately, some priests will offer us excuses for our sins, rather than encouraging genuine repentance.

I don’t think that any of the above in any way contradicts the notion of focusing on God’s mercy; one can pick a good confessor and open their heart to God’s love and His mercy.

 

[akrulisky]

Moreover, priests have personalities, and they have their own way of looking at things. Sometimes, one approach is better to another, and a penitent may be aware of this, and have a preference.

… this is not even to get into the fact that, unfortunately, some priests will offer us excuses for our sins, rather than encouraging genuine repentance.
.

I totally agree. At my last confession, I was really grieved over what I perceived as a serious failure on my part, and I was told “You are being too hard on yourself” with a wave of the hand. It left me feeling foolish and unable to get past what I continued to harbor as a serious issue that I was struggling with. It was definitely not part of being over scrupulous but that is the way I felt was being implied. My deep concern was summarily dismissed and I consequently did not believe I received absolution as a result. I plan on bringing it up again when I go to a weekend Catholic Retreat I am attending this coming weekend when I can go to confession with a different priest while there. I plan on telling the priest I have confessed to this once before but feel it remains with me and hope he asks me why. I don’t plan on complaining about the previous priest, but hoping to have the chance to explain the reasons why I feel it is a serious failing on my part that has had consequences. Hopefully, I will get a priest who will help me through it at least by seeing a need for absolution at the very least. I can only pray for that.

All priests are different, but we have a priest (a one priest parish) who really makes you feel like you just want to recite your sins as briefly as possible so as not to waste his time. In all other regards, I think very highly of our parish priest, but the experience of confession with him is just miserable. Each priest has their own special gifts and some are just simply better when it comes to confession in helping you to have better insight, so as not to continue in a state of sin or to break bad habits, or even not brush them off. I don’t expect it to be a therapy session, by any means, but when I am given some priestly insights once in a while it really helps me to avoid sin in the future, or at least reconcile what I have done so I can move to the next level of self-forgiveness and corrective action. Instead, I feel stuck in a state of sin.

So definitely, I do not think it is not wrong to have a preference as a Confessor. All priests act In Persona Christi, but when your sin is summarily dismissed it creates a stumbling block in the confessional.