Is it a mortal sin to not tell someone they're in a state of mortal sin?

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Ignorance is bliss.

If someone is unaware that something is a grave matter it is probably a good idea to remain silent. Remember, you have to be aware that something is a grave matter before it can become an actual mortal sin. If you inform someone’s conscience the only thing that you might be doing is moving the action from an objective mortal sin to an actual sin. It will depend, I imagine, on whether or not you can adequately convey why something is a grave matter.
 
wworld said:
I’ve read somewhere online (albeit not a very trustworthy one…) that you must tell your neighbor that they should repent for their sin if it was a mortal sin or you will be in a state of mortal sin.

Now, obviously, I don’t want to be in a state of mortal sin, so I’m asking this question. 🙂

Anyways, is this claim correct? Because wouldn’t that be considered judging somebody? (forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=10706) And I also remember reading somewhere that it’s a sin to forget that everyone is responsible for their own sins.

So… Yes, I’m very confused. Thanks in advance! 😃
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It sounds like there are three questions here:
**

  1. *]Is someone’s actions that you observe possibly a mortal sin?
    *]If so, what should we do about it?
    *]If so, what should they do about it?

    **
    Other posters have listed the conditions for a sin to be a mortal sin. First, their actions should be something you observe. It should not be information from a 3rd party or something read about in a newspaper or online.

    Approaching someone about their actions and behaviors should be done with the spirit of charitable, fraternal correction. Is this judging someone? Well, if you see something and you know it is wrong, one is not judging a person but rather a person’s actions. Just because it looks like someone is committing a sin doesn’t mean that they are a bad person who is going to rot in hell if they don’t repent.

    For example, let’s say you are walking in a parking lot and you see someone pulling out of a parking space in a hurry. It looks like they are going to back out too fast and possibly hit a car. Now, if you observe this and start yelling at the driver to get their attention so they stop before hitting the other car, are you being judgmental in their ability to drive a car safely and correctly? What if the person responds to you stating that they have been driving for many years, they know what they are doing, and they saw the other car and were going to stop before hitting it? You might feel like a real idiot but the situation you observed suggested that if you hadn’t taken action, somebody’s car would have been damaged.

    Or do we sit back as the driver pulls out and say to ourselves, “I should not judge the driver’s ability to stop in time so I trust that they will do the right thing…” Or do we say, “I should not judge another person’s driving ability because I am not that good of a driver.” Do we need a spotless driving record before we warn somebody about their reckless driving? What if it was your car that was going to get hit? You probably would not care about the your driving skills, other driver’s ability, knowledge or feelings. You need to stop them before they hit your car!

    When a person commits a mortal sin, they are not only affecting their relationship with God but with everyone. Watching someone sin is like watching someone hit a car in a parking lot and then drive off without leaving a note. Of course, insurance will fix the person’s car but who ultimately pays for the insurance? We all do…

    Finally, what does the other person need to do? Do we tell them to repent? Do they need to repent? Now is when we keep our mouth shut… They probably already know deep down inside what to do…

    Using the reckless driving in the parking lot example, do we tell the driver to go take driving lessons? Do we yank them out of their car and take their keys? No. Probably just telling them the reality of the facts that they came very close to hitting the other car is sufficient. Will they change the way they drive? Maybe, maybe not. If enough people tell this person about their poor driving maybe they might get a clue and start making a conscious effort to improve themselves. We hope they do. But we do not take away their keys and tell them they need to go to driving school.
 
If you see someone about to fall into a pit of fire wouldn’t you do everything possible to warn him about it? If you see someone who could be possibly on his way to falling into the fiery pit of hell, isn’t it the same charity at work when you do everything possible to help him to see this danger? Sometimes we can only pray for a person who is objectively in a state of mortal sin, but when the Holy Spirit provides us with the perfect opportunity to gently help the person who is objectively in mortal sin, then we should jump at the opportunity to help him by pointing out the teaching of the Catholic Church. If a friend or relative is receiving Holy Communion without being in full communion with the in Church we don’t say to them: “you are in a state of mortal sin” because who knows if he is in mortal sin, but we can say gently in an academic way that those individuals who are not in full communion with the Church must abstain from receiving Holy Communion lest they commit sacrilege.
 
ready said:
If you see someone about to fall into a pit of fire wouldn’t you do everything possible to warn him about it? If you see someone who could be possibly on his way to falling into the fiery pit of hell, isn’t it the same charity at work when you do everything possible to help him to see this danger? Sometimes we can only pray for a person who is objectively in a state of mortal sin, but when the Holy Spirit provides us with the perfect opportunity to gently help the person who is objectively in mortal sin, then we should jump at the opportunity to help him by pointing out the teaching of the Catholic Church. If a friend or relative is receiving Holy Communion without being in full communion with the in Church we don’t say to them: “you are in a state of mortal sin” because who knows if he is in mortal sin, but we can say gently in an academic way that those individuals who are not in full communion with the Church must abstain from receiving Holy Communion lest they commit sacrilege.
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That would work nice and all if it wasn’t easy for people to show you no further from falling into the pit than they are.
 
Lost_Wanderer said:
That would work nice and all if it wasn’t easy for people to show you no further from falling into the pit than they are.
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That’s a good reason why we should follow the commandments and do God’s will, so when we fraternally correct we may be taken seriously and our words can be effective.
 
ready said:
That’s a good reason why we should follow the commandments and do God’s will, so when we fraternally correct we may be taken seriously and our words can be effective.
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True that, but the problem lies when you’re not always in the position to criticize and it would seem better to focus on yourself instead of someone else’ business. God’s will isn’t always to have you convert souls but it can also be to heal your own.
 
Lost_Wanderer said:
True that, but the problem lies when you’re not always in the position to criticize and it would seem better to focus on yourself instead of someone else’ business. God’s will isn’t always to have you convert souls but it can also be to heal your own.
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We are our brother’s keeper, so we not only have to care for ourselves but for our brothers and sisters. We are not criticizing when we offer fraternal correction, we are performing a spiritual act of mercy. In Ezekiel we are warned that if we do not correct our brother when we see him in sin then his blood will be upon us. This comes straight from the Bible, not from myself. St. Paul even tells us to admonish the sinner and bring him back to the way when we see him in sin. Nobody is saying we should be self righteous and critical, but in charity, when the opportunity arises, we should care enough about our neighbor’s soul to help them out and not be afraid to speak. If we sense our neighbor would not be open to reform by our words, then we are still obligated to pray for them or we woud be commiting a sin of ommission. And when we correct them, like I said, we could speak academically and just let them know the Church’s teaching without applying the teaching directly to their circumstances. Remember: true fraternal correction is a spiritual work of mercy, not a form of pride or a lack of focus on one’s own sins. It is understood by me that a true Christian who fraternally corrects is equally concerned about his own sins.
 
ready said:
Remember: true fraternal correction is a spiritual work of mercy, not a form of pride or a lack of focus on one’s own sins. It is understood by me that a true Christian who fraternally corrects is equally concerned about his own sins.
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Not that I’m disagreeing with you but I’m just pointing out that skeletons in a closet can be just the thing that would constrain opportunities (if you know what I mean) for fraternal correction.
 
Lost_Wanderer said:
Not that I’m disagreeing with you but I’m just pointing out that skeletons in a closet can be just the thing that would constrain opportunities (if you know what I mean) for fraternal correction.
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Yes, some people could just react badly because they may think "who are you to say this to me when you did such and such a thing, but I find that the people I fraternally correct take what I say well and accept my words as a sign of my love and concern for them…even when they disagree with the Church teaching I am relaying to them. I try to be gentle and kind whenever I do it. The other people I don’t fraternally correct I pray for, and I don’t fraternally correct them because I feel they will just get angry with me and wouldn’t want to amend their lives anyway, if I said something to them from out of the blue. (If an opportunity should come I’ll try to gently speak to them though, but these opportunities I think are rare.) Maybe some people might hold past transgressions against a fraternal corrector when fraternally corrected, but I think that those people might be doing this because they feel angry with the fraternal corrector or they don’t really want to change and are looking for exuses not to. They shouldn’t be responding to the vessel (the person fraternally correcting them), but to the truth of the message of the fraternal correction. I will accept fraternal correction because I want to know my faults and sins, and want to grow in virtue. I won’t hold a person’s past sins against them should they admonish me. If I do I am being proud at the expense of the truth.
 
RichP said:
It sounds like there are three questions here:
**

  1. *]Is someone’s actions that you observe possibly a mortal sin?
    *]If so, what should we do about it?
    *]If so, what should they do about it?

    **
    Other posters have listed the conditions for a sin to be a mortal sin. First, their actions should be something you observe. It should not be information from a 3rd party or something read about in a newspaper or online.

    Approaching someone about their actions and behaviors should be done with the spirit of charitable, fraternal correction. Is this judging someone? Well, if you see something and you know it is wrong, one is not judging a person but rather a person’s actions. Just because it looks like someone is committing a sin doesn’t mean that they are a bad person who is going to rot in hell if they don’t repent.

    For example, let’s say you are walking in a parking lot and you see someone pulling out of a parking space in a hurry. It looks like they are going to back out too fast and possibly hit a car. Now, if you observe this and start yelling at the driver to get their attention so they stop before hitting the other car, are you being judgmental in their ability to drive a car safely and correctly? What if the person responds to you stating that they have been driving for many years, they know what they are doing, and they saw the other car and were going to stop before hitting it? You might feel like a real idiot but the situation you observed suggested that if you hadn’t taken action, somebody’s car would have been damaged.

    Or do we sit back as the driver pulls out and say to ourselves, “I should not judge the driver’s ability to stop in time so I trust that they will do the right thing…” Or do we say, “I should not judge another person’s driving ability because I am not that good of a driver.” Do we need a spotless driving record before we warn somebody about their reckless driving? What if it was your car that was going to get hit? You probably would not care about the your driving skills, other driver’s ability, knowledge or feelings. You need to stop them before they hit your car!

    When a person commits a mortal sin, they are not only affecting their relationship with God but with everyone. Watching someone sin is like watching someone hit a car in a parking lot and then drive off without leaving a note. Of course, insurance will fix the person’s car but who ultimately pays for the insurance? We all do…

    Finally, what does the other person need to do? Do we tell them to repent? Do they need to repent? Now is when we keep our mouth shut… They probably already know deep down inside what to do…

    Using the reckless driving in the parking lot example, do we tell the driver to go take driving lessons? Do we yank them out of their car and take their keys? No. Probably just telling them the reality of the facts that they came very close to hitting the other car is sufficient. Will they change the way they drive? Maybe, maybe not. If enough people tell this person about their poor driving maybe they might get a clue and start making a conscious effort to improve themselves. We hope they do. But we do not take away their keys and tell them they need to go to driving school.
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  1. Excellent post!

    As I was reading all of the post here I was wondering if anyone had mentioned that while we are not to judge people but we may judge the actions of people.

    I have a best friend and we know each other very well. She told me that she doesn’t believe in all the teachings of the Church and so she is going to still do things against Church teaching. I did know what her sins were because she had flat out told me the kind of sins that she disagreed with and that she knew she was committing mortal sin but she didn’t care because she couldn’t believe these teachings in her heart. I knew this for a long time before I finally approached her about this as a friend in charity and with love.

    My intent was only to help my friend not because I wanted to be self-righteous.

    I started talking about the sinner I WAS first and empathizing with her about the hard teachings of the Church. I told her that some people come to full understanding in time and not necessarily all at once. I asked her if I she wanted to know why the Church had these teachings. (She did not know the whys of these teachings because they did not teach this in her RCIA class.) She wanted to know so I told her why the Church taught what it did. She listened and asked questions but it still was very stressful for me to tell her all this and I knew she was not going to accept it right away. I thought that at least I had planted the seeds and so I prayed for her. She distanced herself from me for about three months. I then approached her with tears in my eyes and said that I only told her these things because I loved her and I missed her. Well, not long after that she came to me and said you know I was wrong. We are still best friends now and she has come around on many of the teachings but still has a few to accept. I continue to pray for her.
 
To the last poster: Fr. John Corapi on EWTN has said that it is not wrong to judge the morality of a persons actions; he said we can judge actions to be good or bad and should. He said that judging a perso,n as mentioned in the Bible, means judging a person rashly. It would be rash to judge that a person is evil and definitely going to hell, beause we don’t know that.
 
ready said:
To the last poster: Fr. John Corapi on EWTN has said that it is not wrong to judge the morality of a persons actions; he said we can judge actions to be good or bad and should. He said that judging a perso,n as mentioned in the Bible, means judging a person rashly. It would be rash to judge that a person is evil and definitely going to hell, beause we don’t know that.
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Yes, I agree. In my post I stated the same thing. I was not judging my friend but her actions as not being good. I did not say that I thought she was going to hell. I just wanted to help her.
 
onmyknees said:
Yes, I agree. In my post I stated the same thing. I was not judging my friend but her actions as not being good. I did not say that I thought she was going to hell. I just wanted to help her.
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I know you were agreeing with the good poster and Fr. Corapi. Sorry if my post made you feel I didn’t see that. You did a wonderful thing for your friend and handled the situation great!👍🙂
 
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