Is it a sin to hit your own children?

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Carmelite1983

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I’m NOT talking about overly violent or persistent physical abuse. Nothing illegal or really even socially unacceptable.
Is it a sin to swat your kid over the head if he’s being a stinker? Or give a slap on the wrist?
I’m talking the literal least amount of pain possible in discipline.
For instance, my 5 year old daughter was having a tantrum in her car seat and was kicking the chair and screaming. I couldn’t get her calm at all, and I lightly slapped her knee down from the chair infront of her.
Other times, I have lightly slapped my son over his head. Not to cause pain, but more get his attention and remind him he shouldn’t be doing whatever he was doing.
I usually bring these up in confession, though it’s always been the least invasive type of “hitting” you can think of (they don’t even say “ouch” or act like it hurt).
I know violence can beget violence, and I don’t want to do that, so I understand that.
I have been careful lately not to do any of this, but man kids can be annoying!
St John Bosco pray for me!
 
Parenting is hard…
I know that unfortunately…

I sympatize…

I will prefer to not give advise here.
 
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Yes, I have done so much more myself. I am not an exemple.

A lot of books advocate caring parenting.

perhaps it’s the best way to do… but I am not sure that all parents have the capacity to do it.
 
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Oh yes, I can give you an advise, what my psy have just said me, but I am almost sure that you already known it.

When you think you cannot handle a situation with the children without going the wrong way/be violent, you have to have an “escape plan”.
Something or an activity to do to release the pression, a person to call (like a neighboor for speaking or help with the children)…
 
I am not a fan of hitting, so I am wondering, did the tap on the knee calm your daughter? Did the smack on the head get your son’s attention?

Would you be happy if anyone did those things to you? I wouldn’t be.

There has to be another way to make your point.
 
My honest opinion?

I think it could be a venial sin. Something that should be avoided.

I think that striking a child in order to inflict pain is a sin
 
I agree
But it’s nothing compared to what the nuns at my Dad’s school did to him!
 
Yeah…my grandfather too. He had the old school parochial upbringing in the city.

It’s honestly something I don’t understand.
 
I remember my parents getting annoyed if I cried and told me to stop crying or I’d get a smack to really make me cry.

My mom had this phrase that she’d smack me so hard I’d spin for three hours. She didn’t smack me that hard, but I often wondered what spinning for three hours would be like.
 
My mom? She was a yeller. Sometimes I’d get a spank or a smack. Or a pinch. But the yelling was just terrible.

She had a lot of stress when I was a teen, her mother had cancer and she was the caregiver. When she’d start yelling I’d want to hide.

She’d be able to remember everything I did wrong, and bring it up. Then she’d be quiet for a few minutes, then she’d come back and yell some more.
 
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I think it is a sin to hit your children in anger. When it’s part of a well-thought out discipline plan, then it’s just a bad idea.
 
I wouldn’t try to say at what point physical punishment becomes sinful…

But, hitting a child on the head (including slapping) can cause hearing damage, later in life. I’m sure you don’t want that for your children, and neither does God.

Please, don’t come to rely too much on physical punishment. It can end up hurting a child much worse than you intend. But, it isn’t strictly forbidden. Pray for wisdom. God bless you. and your kids!
 
It’s never our first recourse. It’s never our second recourse. It’s never our third recourse. But eventually, when they ignore your words, it’s not surprising to try a different method for getting their attention. 😉 And eventually, we hope they get to the point where they will pay attention the first time… and eventually, be able to manage themselves without needing a first time. It’s not pleasant, but the opposite— allowing them to perceive tantrum-throwing as an appropriate way to express their feelings-- is also not something you want to cultivate by tolerating it.

Because ultimately, we all want to get to that point–
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
they will bring you the delights you desire.
Click to expand...
 
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It depends what you understand by 'sin".
Sin for you, it seems, can be largely involuntary, not about causing pain, its not illegal, its not socially unacceptable. You possibly believe your actions are reasonable.

For these reasons I am curious what you mean by being sinful.
 
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