Is it a sin to masturbate so that you last longer for your wife?

[Scribe1928]

I’m Catholic and married. I love my wife, and we have always been open to life in our sex. I find that at times I cannot satisfy as I finish too quick. I have been looking around on what to do, and tried different, morally acceptable, things.

But if you quest the internet for an anser to this problem, once solution they propose masturbating for “training”. Is this a sin?

You see, we’re at a point where I’m anxious and she is anxious when we want to have sex. Both of us don’t enjoy it because it lasts too little. Because of this we’re having less sex. We want to be open to life, but we’re less so since we’re actually not doing it out of frustration.

I guess I know the answer. But, would like some more insight.

Thanks.

 

[Nelka]

It’s still a sin.

 

[thistle]

I’m Catholic and married. I love my wife, and we have always been open to life in our sex. I find that at times I cannot satisfy as I finish too quick. I have been looking around on what to do, and tried different, morally acceptable, things.

But if you quest the internet for an anser to this problem, once solution they propose masturbating for “training”. Is this a sin?

You see, we’re at a point where I’m anxious and she is anxious when we want to have sex. Both of us don’t enjoy it because it lasts too little. Because of this we’re having less sex. We want to be open to life, but we’re less so since we’re actually not doing it out of frustration.

I guess I know the answer. But, would like some more insight.

Thanks.

Total nonsense and yes that would be a sin of grave matter.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

I’m Catholic and married. I love my wife, and we have always been open to life in our sex. I find that at times I cannot satisfy as I finish too quick. I have been looking around on what to do, and tried different, morally acceptable, things.

But if you quest the internet for an anser to this problem, once solution they propose masturbating for “training”. Is this a sin?

You see, we’re at a point where I’m anxious and she is anxious when we want to have sex. Both of us don’t enjoy it because it lasts too little. Because of this we’re having less sex. We want to be open to life, but we’re less so since we’re actually not doing it out of frustration.

I guess I know the answer. But, would like some more insight.

Thanks.

Do you masturbate on your own, otherwise?

I had problems with premature ejaculation, but last year I did three things: (1) opened up to my wife fully, emotionally and spiritually, (2) stopped looking at porn, and (3) stopped masturbating on my own. I haven’t been perfect about the last two, but I’ve been MUCH improved.

Result: When I make love to my wife now, I’m more concerned with her pleasure than my own. And I last much, much longer.

Just a thought.

 

[Scottgun]

As another said, it’s still a sin because Masturbation is objectively disordered as a chosen act regardless of good intentions.

Solution to “staying power”? Let me suggest more romance and foreplay.

 

[SpidersfromMars]

I’d say it would be a sin because of the Catholic teaching that you cannot do evil even so good might come of it. So in this case you could not masturbate (‘evil’) even to help improve sex with your wife (‘good’).

 

[ProdglArchitect]

As all other posters have said, yes, it is a sin. If you want to last longer for your wife, -talk- to your wife about it. There are exercise you can actually do while having sex that are intended to help increase your sexual longevity, with the added benefit of intimacy with your wife. There are also different position which stimulate both of you different, and switching between them can help you last longer.

Outside of the actual sex act, there are also several exercise you can do throughout the day which help you to control the muscles related to ejaculation which can help you control your release and prevent yourself from climaxing too soon. The specific one I’m thinking of is called a Kegel exercise, which can actually be done while sitting at your desk throughout the day. It helps you to control certain muscles which can actually stop your ejaculation when you feel it coming on. The best part about it, it has nothing to do with arousal, so you won’t get yourself excited whiled doing it.

You -cannot- licitly masturbate, even if the doctor asks you to it is still a sin. No matter how good your intentions may be you cannot override the fact that it is a flagrant misuse of human sexuality.

Might I ask, and if your uncomfortable answering publicly I’d be happy to switch to PMs, what sort of foreplay do you do? It could be that the foreplay you engage in is over-stimulating you. Additionally, if you find yourself being aroused throughout the day it can result in you climaxing far quicker than had you not been. There are a lot of factors that can play into it, I would definitely look into those exercises though.

 

[Scottgun]

I’d say it would be a sin because of the Catholic teaching that you cannot do evil even so good might come of it. So in this case you could not masturbate (‘evil’) even to help improve sex with your wife (‘good’).

Precisely. The end does not justify the means. This is important because we sometimes encounter people touting dubious health benefits of masturbating. Even if they weren’t dubious, it still wouldn’t make it morally acceptable.

 

[Scribe1928]

Thanks everyone. It is always her I have in mind. But, I don’t wish to offend God in any way. Pray for me if you have a second.

 

[truetofaith]

Precisely. The end does not justify the means. This is important because we sometimes encounter people touting dubious health benefits of masturbating. Even if they weren’t dubious, it still wouldn’t make it morally acceptable.

I definitely say it’s a sin, since it is not part of your marital lovemaking…other than that, I think somebody is making a fool of you…I don’t think a married man should be “training” by having impure thoughts & possibly looking at porn.

Follow Scottgun’s advice in another post…“Solution to “staying power”? Let me suggest more romance and foreplay.”

 

[Beryllos]

As others have suggested, there are moral alternatives. Perhaps you can think of others. If more is better, how about seconds?