Is it a sin to stand up to your parents when you know they're wrong?

[PMV]

Is it a sin to stand up to your parents if you know they’re wrong?
I know you must honor your father and mother, but what if they (or one of them) has completely abused you emotionally and practically destroyed your whole life? It may be impossible for someone to have respect for their mother or father who has done nothing but torment them their whole lives.

 

[space_ghost]

PMV:

Is it a sin to stand up to your parents if you know they’re wrong?
I know you must honor your father and mother, but what if they (or one of them) has completely abused you emotionally and practically destroyed your whole life? It may be impossible for someone to have respect for their mother or father who has done nothing but torment them their whole lives.

would standing up to them help you?

 

[SaintJVMan]

Standing against authority that you know to be wrong is not sinful, so long as you do it in the right way.

 

[Annunciata]

PMV:

Is it a sin to stand up to your parents if you know they’re wrong?
I know you must honor your father and mother, but what if they (or one of them) has completely abused you emotionally and practically destroyed your whole life? It may be impossible for someone to have respect for their mother or father who has done nothing but torment them their whole lives.

When I was about 12 I stood up to my alcoholic father who had terrorized my mother and brothers and sister and me for many years…after one really horrible drunken scene where he was being both physically and verbally abusive…I told him off. He stopped drinking after that and never, ever was abusive again. God rest his soul…he was a wonderful father in every other way. So, in this instance I think it was O.K… Hope this helps…
God Bless, Annunciata

 

[rayne89]

May I ask how old are you my friend?
We can not obey our parents if what they are expecting is sinful and we can not give honor to what is wrong in the eyes of God.

My mother became mentally ill after my sister’s death when I was 13, from that time until I married at 18 she ripped me apart emotionally and psychologically, and on occasion it was physical. She went so far as to tell me she wished I would have died instead of my sister. My behavior toward during those years was defiant and angry. I have confessed it as an adult.

My husband was beaten & verbally abused thru out his entire childhood and into his teens. His behavior toward his father was also angry and defiant. He also confessed as an adult.

My bigger concern here is that you said they have practically distroyed your whole life.I do not not know what you have been thru but do not give your parents that power. You are gift from God whether your parents treat you that way or not. If you are an adult I would put as much distance between you and them as possible. Find a good Catholic or at least Christian counselor and a good priest to discuss these things with so they can help you move on and reclaim your life.

If you are still a minor living at home, I would also talk to your priest and your school counselor. When I was at home I felt like my life was a living nightmare. But I resolved when I was an adult I would not allow what my mom had done to me (and still tries to do at times) to take away what I’ve wanted in life. I had much to overcome as did my husband but we have a great marriage now and raise our daughter in a loving enviroment.

I can’t stress this enough, your parents can not ruin what God has given to you. It will be hard but you can take that power back from them and live your life as the beautiful child of God that you are. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[PaulDupre]

From the CCC, paragraph 2217:

As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."22 Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. **But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so. **

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Hope this helps,
Paul

 

[PaulDupre]

PMV:

Is it a sin to stand up to your parents if you know they’re wrong?
I know you must honor your father and mother, but what if they (or one of them) has completely abused you emotionally and practically destroyed your whole life? It may be impossible for someone to have respect for their mother or father who has done nothing but torment them their whole lives.

When the scripture talks about “honoring your father and mother”, it is talking about your behavior towards them, not your feelings. I have noticed that scripture says very little about feelings. I believe that is because feelings naturally follow behavior, and not the other way around. Therefore God directs our behavior, wisely knowing that if our behavior is right and proper before Him, then Godly attitudes and feelings will follow. This involves faith and trust in God and His Word.

I am sorry that you had bad experience with your parents. It sounds like they “dispitefully used you”. It would be an act of true Christian virtue for you to pray for them and forgive them for all they have done.

Matthew 5:44-48
"But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

"For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?

"If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?

"Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Paul

 

[PMV]

Very good responses, everyone! Now I understand what to do. I don’t want to say much about my parents, except that my father is completely respectful and reasonable towards me. My mom on the other hand…is a completely different story.
Thanks for all the advice and prayers. God bless all of you.