Is it a sin to want a divorce

  • Thread starter Thread starter Oren
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
O

Oren

Guest
I’ve been married since September. I’ve suffered from manipulation and emotional abuse and lies from the beginning. now he has admitted he cheated on me and is not attracted to me…possibly since bbefore we got married. at first he wouldn’t agree to try to work it out…now he’s saying he wants to try but since then he has seen the girl he was cheating on me with again. now I don’t think I want to try to work it out anymore.is that a sin for me?
 
I don’t think it is a sin. I honestly have doubts to the validity of the marriage. You might have grounds for annulment.
 
the thing is he has absolutely refused to deal with any problem or talk about anything. he hid his std from me until it was too late. I think he’s a pathological liar or has some kind of personality disorder. he made me think all our problems were my fault. at the same time…we’re married and I just worry that if I don’t do everything possible it will be my fault that our marriage ends. I just don’t think he’s capable of communicating or being honest…
 
Oren said:
the thing is he has absolutely refused to deal with any problem or talk about anything. he hid his std from me until it was too late. I think he’s a pathological liar or has some kind of personality disorder. he made me think all our problems were my fault. at the same time…we’re married and I just worry that if I don’t do everything possible it will be my fault that our marriage ends. I just don’t think he’s capable of communicating or being honest…
Click to expand...
Normally, I don’t suggest divorce but if this is already happening after only 3 months of marriage, I encourage you to protect yourself and seek out an attorney. After the divorce is granted, immediately seek an annulment.
 
Oren said:
I’ve been married since September. I’ve suffered from manipulation and emotional abuse and lies from the beginning. now he has admitted he cheated on me and is not attracted to me…possibly since bbefore we got married. at first he wouldn’t agree to try to work it out…now he’s saying he wants to try but since then he has seen the girl he was cheating on me with again. now I don’t think I want to try to work it out anymore.is that a sin for me?
Click to expand...
If he was cheating on you from before you were married his wows meant nothing they were a lie, therefore your “marriage” has good ground to be annulled.
As somebody already stated if this is going on now I doubt it will get better in the future.
Get out now and start rebuilding your life, try to find a real man, possibly someone with some moral fiber.
 
To ‘want’ a divorce is not a sin. I don’t think to actually divorce is a sin either (but comrades may disabuse me of that). Other people have said you might have grounds for an annulment. You should ask colleagues on this site for advice on that. I think the only ‘sins’ you may be in danger of are pre-marital sex and/or adultery. But you sort one thing out at a time. God understands more than we do. Rely on God
 
So sorry for your troubles, these first months should be still the honeymoon months! You must see your priest and discuss all of this with him, I am willing to bet he won’t hesitate to help you and won’t blame you for your thoughts. God bless you as you go forward.
 
I don’t understand why you’d think wanting a divorce with grounds would be a sin?

He obviously lied when he made his vows. Talk to a priest then talk to a lawyer. This has happened to others. You aren’t alone.

I’m sure if you had known he was seeing someone else before the marriage you would not have married him. He kept this from you. Even if you suspected it is not you, it is him. Cut your losses and move on.
 
Run it past your parish priest, and contact the marriage tribunal in your diocese for their preliminary opinion. And if he has been physically sexually active with someone else, make an appointment with your doctor for testing for STDs. We’re just people on the internet, we can’t tell you whether you have grounds for an annulment, but the priest and the tribunal can. However, in the United States, before annulment inquiries can be opened, a civil divorce has to be finalized. I have heard of similar cases where annulments were granted after such egregious behavior started almost immediately after a marriage occurred, but like I said, we on this board can’t be certain of that.

Protect your interests, including financial, and get out. This situation has the potential of turning much, much worse.
 
I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. We are here to pray for you and to be here when you need to vent.

Please see your Priest ASAP. He will be able to help you in ways that we cannot.
 
I just received my first decision on my decree of nullity. It has been a long struggle. I can honestly say that it has been a healing path but not an easy one and it should only be taken with great discernment. That being said speak to your priest and be open and honest about the good, the bad, and the ugly and the reach for support from those that are going through the path that you have chosen. And then be at peace with your decision and the fact that God loves us as all.
 
I honestly don’t know what to do. I asked if it was a sin to want it because I feel like I haven’t done enough to try to fix it. I know I can’t fix it on my own and if he is so messed up for it to be unfixable then there’s nothing I can do. But I still feel like I have to try. We haven’t been to counseling or anything. I asked him to go to counseling today and he said he would go if I wanted him to but he said he didn’t see what it would accomplish. It doesn’t seem like he wants anything to be fixed. He says that if we keep this going he’s just going to keep hurting me. But should that be the whole point of this, just to keep myself from getting hurt in the future? Or should I try everything possible? I feel like counseling is the least we could do. I’m just not sure about anything at this point.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top