I don’t know about the Church’s viewpoint here, but I’ll talk about a personal viewpoint…family dynamics…I see the struggle…the tug-o-war…BTDT.
This is your brother and your brother’s son…or step-son, but all the same to me…and how could you not do something if asked like this? Your brother? His kid?
You can help this kid without contributing to the missionary fund directly. I would certainly not give cash. Cash is cash, you have no control on where the money goes, and in this situation, this is your concern…it would be mine.
Me, my opinion? I care very much about my sister and I adore my neice and nephews, and I would want to make sure they had what they need out there in the big, bad world. And my relationship is such with my sister that I could honestly tell her that I would prefer to give gifts over cash so that these kids for sure get what they need while they are away from home…and everybody loves a package! Especially when cut off from home…it builds morale.
Some (maybe most I might venture a guess) of these missionaries are miserable. Lots of these kids go without basic necessities and live in filth. Some are spoiled. Some live somewhere in the middle. It’s hard regardles because there is a tremendous amount of pressure to stick it out no matter how bad it is, or else they are “failures” and they don’t “return with honor.” These kids are fresh from high school in a foreign area, some in a foreign land with a new language, cut off from reality and normal life, cut off from family and friends, support systems, very limited contact with “the real world,” no TV, newspapers, current events, no literature or music unless it’s LDS approved, Sunday church, Monday is P-day…their day off…they get to finally pee is the joke…and selling their religion the rest of the time, sometimes wondering how they’ll pay for the groceries…and when they get home? They are encouraged to leap into marriage and family as soon as possible…please correct me if I’m wrong.
How can you not do something? The missionary time is when many realize it’s all bunk…they need a seed planted and a nudge. How better than an nonMormon, a Catholic, being a good person in some small way?
I think that you could reasonalby say to your brother that while you will not give cash towards the missionary fund, you would be happy to make sure your nephew has groceries and other needs once he’s out there.
Socks, sheets, laundry soap, antibacterial gel, shampoo, lotion, DEET, razors, toilet paper, gift certificates to the grocery store, girlie products for the girls, mac n’ cheese, vitamins, beef jerky, phone cards, Smack Ramen, Kleenix, hot chocolate…etc., etc.
There is a way you can make sure your nephew is taken care of without contributing directly to LDS Inc., and if it were my my nephew (or step), that’s what I would do.