Is it better spiritually to have low self esteem?

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I’ve always had extremely low self esteem, and I’ve spent some time in therapy trying to get over it. But since reverting to Catholicism I’m starting to wonder if this is something I shouldn’t fight against ? Wouldn’t it be more humble to think poorly of myself ? Maybe I am misunderstanding humility but it doesn’t really make sense to me that a human being who is fallen, sinful and capable of so much evil should think anything positive of themselves in really any circumstances. Especially since we can’t do anything without God. I’m just confused and don’t know if there’s some kind of middle ground. I feel like if I were to ever admire something about myself, that would be sinful. I’d appreciate any of your thoughts on this.
 
Alexgrace927 said:
Wouldn’t it be more humble to think poorly of myself
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Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less, as C.S. Lewis put it.

Humility is seeing yourself as God sees you, no greater and no less. To reject our God-given goodness is prideful, just as much as it would be to over-exalt ourselves.

The way to gain the proper focus is gratitude for the good things God has given us, and humble recognition of our need of his mercy, and our need of him as source of all our good.

-Fr ACEGC
 
I recently asked a related question here; Heavenward had a good Aquinas quote in response:
Heavenward said:
“Just as unity is the principle of union, the love with which a man loves himself is the form and the root of friendship.”— St Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica II-II, 25, 4.
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It’s misguided to act out of concern for what other people think of you… right? Along the same lines, is it misguided to act out of concern for what you think of yourself?
 
It’s important not to fall too far into a fake humility. The Heresy of total depravity common in Calvinistic views is described by Calvin himself that we are all “dung and stench”. This is simply not true and leads to this idea that it is somehow Christian and Christlike to be the “biggest sinner”. One cannot feel the love of God if one views themselves as unloveable. So to the people with low self esteem or the people of a Calvinistic view of humans I say to both, God does not make junk and He certainly does not love dung and stench. He loves His beautiful Children of which you are one. Embrace it and be proud to be His child!
 
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Hmm I’ve never thought about it like that. That makes sense. I’m not trying to be “poor me” or gain pity with this post though. I’m just trying to figure out the balance, and understand humility more.
 
Jesus said to love your neighbor AS you love yourself. He never said don’t love yourself. You are included in his love, and that makes your valuable.
 
I think humility makes us grounded in the sense that we become self-aware of how limited and little we are and how much we need God. So being grounded eliminates the need to posture, compete or dominate others. It leads to more confidence in that sense, so it can actually help low self-esteem.
 
Alexgrace927 said:
I’m just trying to figure out the balance, and understand humility more.
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That’s good, because I don’t think low-self esteem is better, it can be used against you… take you away from God.

I meant to agree with @JanR 😉 God is love and He wants us to love others as we love ourselves.
 
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Humility is different than low self confidence. If God loves us and made us (This is true) then to appreciate His work and beauty in creating us is good. Now we cannot be prideful because we are nothing on our own, because God created all we are and the credit is His for every good deed we perform, because it is Him working in us for His glory.

Suppose you look at someone else and say to yourself “They are ugly /fat /dumb /worthless. I dislike them and have no confidence in their abilities.” This would not only be insulting them but insulting the One who created them. It is the same for yourself.

Every evil in us is not of God. But every good in us is of and by God, and, for believers, because Jesus lives in us. We can admire God’s work in us and by loving ourselves in this way, our love circles back to God so we are really loving God. If we love ourselves to the point of vanity or having a big ego, this is idolatry because this love is not giving God credit. This bad love is based on loving ourselves because of who we individually are apart from God. If we love what God loves about us it is good. If we get a big head and think we are good on our own without the grace of God, we are not only vain, but incredibly foolish.
 
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You can admire things about yourself. St Paul said to boast in God. You are Gods child. He gave you certain talents and abilities and expects you to use them to glorify his name. Each time you do, you please him. So if you are good at singing, sing for God if you can draw well, cook well, write well, study well etc. even if you don’t do them so well. Then do those things for God. Always do your best for God.
 
Humility is knowing your true worth as a person before God. Pride is the opposite.
If you have been to confession you know what humility is - if you didn’t feel humility it was not a good confession I am not talking about embarrassment either.

Low self esteem is a train of thought that you have to break or it can go on for years. You can change the way you think about yourself - a little help could get you there you should continue with your therapy . But you are ultimately in control of how you think and you can change it. It is not humility.
 
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Alexgrace927 said:
Wouldn’t it be more humble to think poorly of myself ?
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Humility doesn’t mean having a low opinion of yourself. It means having a truthful opinion of yourself.

Cs Lewis has a really excellent chapter on humility in the Screwtape Letters:
“ You must therefore conceal from the patient the true end of Humility. Let him think of it not as self-forgetfulness but as a certain kind of opinion (namely, a low opinion) of his own talents and character.”

God doesn’t want you to think of yourself as worthless (because you aren’t), nor does he want you to have a low opinion of your worth. Let me ask you - do you have a low opinion of those you love? Do you want them to have a low opinion of themselves? Well God loves you the same way. If anything, a false humility is a lie - saying that you are bad or worthless when you aren’t would be a lie. God would rather you have a good opinion of yourself, and then stop thinking about it, then For you to spend a lot of time trying to convince yourself you are bad.

There’s too much to quote here, but the chapter on humility in the Screwtape Letters really is an excellent one. It helped me to start seeing humility for as the welcome virtue that it is.
 
Alexgrace927 said:
I’ve always had extremely low self esteem, and I’ve spent some time in therapy trying to get over it.
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If you have a psychological issue then that is very much psychological. One amazing Priest told me that an issue can effect the whole you. So it can be hard to seperate psychological from spiritual.
Alexgrace927 said:
Maybe I am misunderstanding humility but it doesn’t really make sense to me that a human being who is fallen, sinful and capable of so much evil should think anything positive of themselves in really any circumstances.
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One way of looking at humilty is this: if you can only sing some Kyrie Eleisons but find other difficult then you admit this. You bassically see reality as it is and where you are in life. You do not see yourself as he greatest of any kind. I used the example with the Kyrie Eleisons as most of us have tried to sing many of them. Even if you can sing all of them you must be humble and say that you are not the most perfect singer out there. And your talent or gift never came from you anyway. God is the first cause.
 
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