Is it better to stop hoping than to have your hopes dashed?

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I find in life that having your hopes dashed time and again is the worst thing ever, would it be better to never hope instead and if so how do you teach yourself to no longer hope?
 
It depends on what you’re hoping for. If you are hoping for God to aid you in your struggles, then you should always have hope - it is a virtue.

However, if you’re hoping for other things - success in this life, a promotion, etc, then hope isn’t necessarily bad, but it is always good to temper your expectations and make sure your hope is based on reason, and not on wishful thinking.
 
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What’s happening that makes you feel your hopes are dashed?
 
I’ve felt the same way as this question, but in the end, when you do find what you are longing for (provided that it is a good thing) you will feel so much peace that it was worth the struggles.

Jesus never said it would be easy to follow Him. Rather, he said we have to die to ourselves and pick up our crosses and follow.
 
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Exactly that but constantly feeling hopeless as if I am on my own.
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This is a very real struggle that every Christian who is sincerely trying to follow God eventually undergoes. There’s really no easy solution to it. Something that helps me is being mindful of the fact that having the virtue of Hope doesn’t necessarily mean having the emotional feeling of hopefulness. As long as you are trying to follow God, as long as you are attempting to avoid sin and repenting when you do sin, then you are expressing the virtue of Hope, even if you don’t have the emotions to go along with it.

Im currently reading “spiritual combat and a treatise on peace of soul“ and it looks like it could be quite helpful.
 
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Flump said:
I find in life that having your hopes dashed time and again is the worst thing ever, would it be better to never hope instead and if so how do you teach yourself to no longer hope?
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In life, things often don’t turn out the way we expect. When our expectations are not met, we experience disappointment, but we don’t have to lose hope. Is there a way to maintain hope even in the face of disappointment? I think there is.

One possible remedy is to think in terms of basic objectives, or goals, rather than specific outcomes. For example, my son graduated from high school this year, and applied for admission to college. A sensible objective in this case is to get a good education.

Of course he has a favorite college, one that he most wants to attend. If he doesn’t go to that school, that’s a disappointment, but his objective is still valid. He can still get a good education at another school.

Good news, bad news. He was accepted to his first-choice college! A few months later, the college informed us they were in financial distress and were probably going to close before next fall. I told him, “You know what? This is a big disappointment, but your basic goal of getting a good education can still be attained. You can still go to another college.”

More good news, more bad news. The state made a commitment to fund the college for a few more years while they explore cost-cutting options other than shutting down. Then COVID-19 came along, and we don’t know if the campus will be open in the fall.

Disappointments and uncertainties come, but the goal is still there. If one path is blocked, we’ll take another, and another, until the goal is reached.

Whatever it is that you are hoping for, try to identify the basic/fundamental/core objective. Work toward it. If one approach doesn’t work, try another. Maintain hope by focusing on the goal and not the disappointments.
 
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Flump said:
I find in life that having your hopes dashed time and again is the worst thing ever, would it be better to never hope instead and if so how do you teach yourself to no longer hope?
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Preparing for the worst doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy anything good that might happen. I would approach it intellectually instead of emotionally, but if worst comes to worst, I would maybe buy something to distract myself until things get better.
 
The enemy of hope is impatience. Too often we want things before God may be ready to provide them. Trust in God and pray for your desires and He will fill our needs. I’ve been praying for 28 years for something that will finally happen this coming month. I never gave up hope, but it was a tough road getting here.
 
Flump said:
I find in life that having your hopes dashed time and again is the worst thing ever, would it be better to never hope instead and if so how do you teach yourself to no longer hope?
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You need to read this: If— by Rudyard Kipling | Poetry Foundation

Pass it on to your children when applicable.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
 
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Homily touched on this last Sunday. Faith, hope, and charity are the cardinal virtues. They are the “anti-sins”. Not having hope IS sinful in itself.
Try to not shoot the messenger.
Dominus vobiscum
 
I think a lot of people feel that way (as if they’re on their own). It can feel even more like that, especially when your.prayers aren’t getting answered.
 
Temporary hopes and disappointment are part of this earthly life. Focus instead on hope for eternal life, that can never be taken away.
 
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