Is it considered lust to want a meaningful romantic relationship?

[ConvertAllToCatholic]

This has bothered me for sometime. I really want to have a meaningful relationship with a woman that culminates in a marriage. I really feel like I was meant to be a husband, and God willing, a father. I worry that wanting such things is lustful and that I should just accept it if it happens. I also daydream sometimes about being held by a future spouse. I hope that is not a sinful thought because I often find it comforting when I am lonely.

 

[drac16]

Lust is when you look at someone and have a sexual fantasy about him/her. That’s definitely a sin, as the Lord says in Matthew 5:28. Wanting a mate is not lust, because the Bible never mentions them together [as being sinful]. It’s natural to want a spouse. There’s nothing carnal about that.

 

[Dolphin]

God gave us a desire to want to love others, that is good and natural. How we use our desire is what we need to be careful of. Ask for St. Joseph to help you find someone if that is what God wants!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Why would you think it’s lustful to want to be a husband and father?

Lust is when you dwell on the idea of having sexual pleasures.

I guarantee you that sexual pleasure is but a small part of being a spouse, and has absolutely nothing to do with being a parent beyond the initial act of begetting.

“Being held” isn’t always sexual.

 

[pulchraesamicamea]

You sound like you’re being called to the vocation of marriage, and this isn’t lustful.

If you are thinking of your future partner with lust, that’s a sin- but you’re just wanting to have a fruitful relationship with your future spouse. Also, consult a priest if you are worried about this situation.

 

[kapp19]

It is not necessarily sinful to “daydream,” but it is not helpful for the goal, and can become debilitating and lead to less innocent things. Go ask a woman on a real-life date!

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

It is not necessarily sinful to “daydream,” but it is not helpful for the goal, and can become debilitating and lead to less innocent things. Go ask a woman on a real-life date!

Solid advice. Instead of sitting around fantasizing. get out there and date. Spend your time being or becoming the kind of guy women want to be with: have an active social life, get in shape, build your career, etc.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Sexual desire is not the same as lust.
Romantic desire is not the same as lust.

All feelings and emotions need to be brought to right reason to decide what to do next.

Lust is more along the lines of demanding sexual gratification when it’s not yours to have.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Nah, you are good. Lets use our reasoning skills here. If good faithful Catholics had to avoid desiring a meaningful relationship, how would they begin to date and ultimately get married? We are not robots here and arranged marriage is almost completely a thing of the past in a lot of countries.