Is it just a natural thing woman want to be saved

[T432]

Is it wrong? Just human nature? to want someone who 'saves you" as a woman. I’m dealing with a lot of unresolved issues from my past at the moment that makes me feel undatable and that it’s not fair on the other person at the moment to enter into a relationship together.

I basically destroyed what had the potential to be a really good relationship this evening stating the fact of unresolved past issues and thinking it’s not fair to them.

There is just a huge part of me that wants someone to love, cuddle and be there for me as I would be for them.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

This book is an oldie but a goodie that explores the issue that some women have about wanting a guy to “save them”.

I read it when I was about 22. Recognized some of my own behavior in it, and took steps to not act like that going forward.

A relationship where one person is “saving” the other is not the best kind to have. It is likely to fall apart when either the person doing the “saving” gets sick of that role, or the person being “saved” learns to be more independent.

https://www.amazon.com/Cinderella-Complex-Womens-Hidden-Independence/dp/0671733346

 

[T432]

Thank you so much. I agree totally that it’s not the best thing to desire and that it can cause issues. I will definitely check out the book.

Thanks again.

 

[redcatholic]

It’s not really a man woman thing it’s a broken thing. People who are in a perceived need of help, want to be saved. And that is not what good relationships are built upon.

 

[T432]

@redcatholic Thank you for your response. I can totally get where you are coming from. The logical part of my brain is telling me that I do feel broken and I think that getting into a relationship will fix me.

I do get that this isn’t a healthy way of thinking.

 

[dollysro]

Sometimes the opposite of this is called the white knight syndrome, someone who measures their worth by saving others.
Both ends of the spectrum are unhealthy in a relationship. You can’t give yourself to someone if you need saving. Nor can you, as was stated, if you are the savior type because what happens when the saving is done?
Consider working on getting healed and healthy and you will find someone who is much the same. You can do it

 

[Anesti33]

I think a quest for independence is detrimental to our growth as Christians. Perhaps in these United States we are a bit too inspired by the Declaration of Independence being such an auspicious beginning to our country.

I think the ideal we all should strive for is interdependence. When we work together in a group, when we lean on one another and support one another, when we trust others for our safety and well-being, this is when we fully come into our own as Christians and as human beings. “No man is an island” and neither is a woman.